Its day one of a long and lonely 7 months!!!

Mercy2 · 2009-03-30T10:12:15+00:00

My hubby left very eary this morning for Afghan, my wee man is 11 months and is already peering around the doors and up the stairs shouting "DADA". poor little guy. Its the second tour DH has done since we've been married, and the first one since we had Riley. I'm not looking foward to this. He's hardly been home since we had riley. so i feel as though we've already had almost a year apart already! Sorry if I am moaning here! i know that there's prob a lot more ladies in the same boat as me!! Roll on R&R thats what i say! Hope everyone is well? Mercy x x

Scootergrrrl · 30/03/2009 12:28

Hope your first day goes ok. Be kind to yourself and have something for your dinner tonight that you know your DH hates!
One day down....

Northernlurker · 30/03/2009 12:30

7 months? So will he be home for Christmas? If so I'd look forward to that at least. Hope the time flies by.

FairLadyRantALot · 30/03/2009 12:36

Mercy, if you don't make to much of a fuss about Daddy being away your lil Riley isn't realy going to notice....iykwim...I know I sound heartless, but it is what worked for us....for us, even tours away, were always just treated like another day at the office...no fuss special fuss was made about dh leaving nor returning...and I found it really worked....as children don't really ahve a true knowledge of time, etc...and I found friends that did counting down days etc...well...it seemed to do more harm than good, iykwim...

But,I do know it is difficult and can be lonely. Hope time flys by for you!

Original poster

Mercy2 · 30/03/2009 12:54

thanks guys
I think Riley's initial shouting dada is just as he thinks dh is playing peek a boo with him! lol. he is easily distracted with his toys etc! i think that just carryin on with our routine as normal will keep DS from being affected!
DH as given me free reign to choose and book a holiday for when he gets back so that will be something to keep me busy!!! lol.

its gonna be tough, like it is for everyone, but i have started mums and tots here, and also i am thinking of going back to work one or two days a wee to keep me out of trouble!

Thanks again for replyin!
Luv and hus
M x x x

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FairLadyRantALot · 30/03/2009 12:55

sounds like a good plan...
I always found the first couple of weeks most difficult, and than you kinda get used to it....iykwim...

notyummy · 30/03/2009 12:59

Hope things go ok for you; you will find plenty of support on here. It sounds like you are trying to be strong and positive, which I am sure is the best way forward. My dh is also military and goes away regularly, although not (as yet) on a long deployment since dd has been born.

Hope you plan a great holiday!

helenhn · 07/04/2009 21:04

My DH is 2 months into a 6 month deployment and I'm at home with a 2 1/2 yr old. He's been away a lot since DD was born and went on deployment when DD was only a few weeks old. I know how hard it can be especially when children are young. When DH has been away I have mentioned him to DD in a general way just so the word "Daddy" is mentioned but at 11 months old noticing Daddy's gone will only be a short-lived thing and he'll transfer all his attention to you. I treat myself to a few glasses of wine at the end of each week to celebrate the end of another week and will be treating myself to a bit of a shopping spree at the halfway point. It is very lonely and as I don't have any babysitters I really miss socialising with my friends as well as having time on my own. But at the end of the 7 months you will be so chuffed with yourself for getting through it and as DS get older it gets easier. It definitely takes a special kind of person to be a Forces wife!

Original poster

Mercy2 · 07/04/2009 23:02

helenhn, thanks for such a lovely reply hunny. its so tough aint it. i do the same as you, the odd treat once i get past a certain point.
We worked out that DH has had less than 10 weeks at home since we moved to ireland when i was 37wks pregnant. his training has been so intense, but i guess I'll be gladhe did it all when he returns safe to us in october/nov.

I'll toast a glass of wine to you this wekend, i'm the same as you, with no sitter's or family close by. so my social life stops at 6pm, bathtime. lol.

Hope w can chat on here again, its good to feel i'm not alone!!
m x x

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FfreckleFface · 07/04/2009 23:12

We're three weeks in now. It's crap, isn't it? But we're getting there. Ff (13 mo)still shouts 'Dadadadadadadadadada' constantly, but that's her catch-all shout for anyone.

But you're not on your own, even though it feels that way sometimes. Come back here for chats and support if you're ever feeling a bit rubbish.

twinkle183 · 08/06/2009 16:08

Hi ya guys hope you don't mind me joining in... my dh went away in Jan and doesn't return until July... to be honest am struggling a little even though I only have 5 weeks and 4 days to go until I see him again...

He went when our youngest was 8 weeks old and we have two other children aswell.. my 2 year old doesn't notice he has gone she just occasionally points to the pictures and says daddy but its hit our 5 year old hard and he has problems with me leaving him at school thinking that I won't return! I am doing okay and just feel exhausted buts its nice to know that there are others of us out there in the same boat... it would be great to chat to someone....

I am so glad of this website otherwise I would go mad I think????

thanks and sorry for the moan!

SemperEadem · 09/06/2009 07:45

aw ladies - I will be in your position later this year. I am lucky though in that DS is not school age yet and we have no other c hildren so the plan is for me to travel back up North and stay with my family while DH is away.

I may not stay there the whole time and travel up & down a bit to our house but it will make life easier if I am up there.

Dreading the situation I will be in when ds is at school though and I am so tied to the patch.

Keep your spirits up and remember what you are doing is just as important as your husbands - keeping the family together so he can do what he has to do is just as important imo.

FlappytheBat · 09/06/2009 08:44

Can I join in too?

My dh left last week and won't be back until the end of the year, keeping fingers and toes crossed that he will be home in time for christmas but could be unlikely.

This is the first long deployment he has done since we've had dd's, eldest is 4 so she knows that daddy is away for a long time, youngest is almost 2 and she is also going round the house looking for daddy.

nice to know that there are others around who know exactly how it feels!

Original poster

Mercy2 · 12/06/2009 03:20

Hey ladies,
I am drawing closer to R&R by the day. I cannot wait to see my gorgeous husbands face again! Its insane to think that he has been gone for 2 and a half months!
My Ds still calls out for his daddy and i am so impressed that he still picks up his pic of daddy and gives him kisses.
Since Daddy went away, we have had Ds's 1st birthday, and taken his first steps!!! so much has changed at home, and so many days without kissing my hubby goodnight! It breaks me to think of how hard he is working out there. I feel so blessed to be able to wake in the morning and look into our sons face! GOD I cant wait till DH has the same privillage!
Lets stay strong girlies, the days will pass and our boys and girls will all be home soon x x Hugs, Mercy x x

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twoplusone · 15/06/2009 10:46

Mercy.. is your DH in 2 Rifles.. if so he is out there with my brother who is on his first deployment..
It is hard when they are away and glad rnr is coming soon..
When DH was there last year he missed our youngest first bday and first steps, words etc.. it is hard..

Big hugs Mercy and let the count down to rnr begin when is he home.. have you got anything planned or are you just having family chill out time.. that is what we did..

Take care hun xx

Original poster

Mercy2 · 16/06/2009 00:21

Hi hunny,
No Hubby is in 2Mercian as part of 19Bde. But he has said that he's met loads of lads from 2Rifles. The first tour is always tough on the family. This is DH's 2nd tour since I met him, and his 3rd tour of Afghan in 4years. He met me just after he returned from Afghan in 2005.
He's missed DS's first steps too, and his birthday and it breaks my heart that he hasn't seen how cheeky he has become! He is JUST like his daddy. lol.
I post videos on Facebook and send him about a million Eblueys a week! haha!
I hope your brother is doin ok out there! Its a tough time and lets hope it passes quickly and that they can all return safely.
hugs
M x x x

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Original poster

Mercy2 · 16/06/2009 00:21

Hi hunny,
No Hubby is in 2Mercian as part of 19Bde. But he has said that he's met loads of lads from 2Rifles. The first tour is always tough on the family. This is DH's 2nd tour since I met him, and his 3rd tour of Afghan in 4years. He met me just after he returned from Afghan in 2005.
He's missed DS's first steps too, and his birthday and it breaks my heart that he hasn't seen how cheeky he has become! He is JUST like his daddy. lol.
I post videos on Facebook and send him about a million Eblueys a week! haha!
I hope your brother is doin ok out there! Its a tough time and lets hope it passes quickly and that they can all return safely.
hugs
M x x x

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twoplusone · 16/06/2009 06:46

Yep.. heres to there safe returns hun...
The unit we are with are going in August.. but DH staying behind this time because of harmonisation!! But it is weird for both of us watching everyone else get ready for the the deployment knowing for once it isnt him going..

Keep you chin up hun wont be long xx

twinkle183 · 26/06/2009 20:23

Hi ya girlies.. good to know that everyones dhs are returning soon - I have 2wks, 5 days & 20 hrs until I see him again and to say that I am excited is understatment to be honest!!

Like you Mercy2 so much has changed at home as he has seen our youngest ds since he was 8 weeks old he will be 8 months old when he returns...

Keep your chins up everyone and am here to give moral support if anyone needs it... you can do it if I can!!!