TTC with deployments looming

[Mrsjones17]

Just after a bit if advice or reality check really. DH and I have been TTC for around 4 months (properly) now which I know isnt that long. We decided to TTC last year but had a 6 month deployment which took up most of the year and then a small 6 weeker and a few weeks training etc right at the wrong time!. I know he's going away again in September for 3 months...do we hold off TTC in July and aug incase we fall and he misses first scan etc or can they come home for that? I know it depends where they're going, it's not Falklands but I'd rather not say specifics. Or just carry on as normal let's be honest it probably won't happen anyway. I feel like TTC is taking a long time but just because he isn't here! Agh!

I'd say carry on.

Yes, it's nicer if your DH can come along for medical appointments (including scans and any other tests/screenings) but no they are not the sort of things that people get to go home for (unless something is going wrong which I hope never applies to you).

But, 20 weekmscan date should be known well in advance, so perhaps he could just thrown in a leave pass for then?

We were in this situation 12 years ago when TTC dd1. I ended up becoming pg after he came back from Iraq. He was able to come to all the scans etc, but ended up going away when dd was 6 months.
Dh missed both scans for ds as although he was in the country he couldn't get time off and missed the dating scan for dd2, but made the 20 week one.
I remember how stressful it was, Dh was never around when I was ovulating, always on a course or on nights (and we used to cross over as I was working long hours and we would struggle to see each other some days, let alone anything else). It was all consuming and made me quite resentful of his job which was really unhelpful.
I wouldn't hold off trying, this might be your month, at least if he is away for the scans, chances are he will be here for the birth and early months. If you don't conceive at least you tried so won't always wonder if you might have done.

AFAIK you can ask for a shore / local posting to allow TTC for up to a year. Or is that only if going through IVF? We looked at it for the Navy, but we haven't gone ahead with the IVF (giving up).