Am i being mean?

[misdee]

i made dd1 a marmite sandwich for breakfast as she asked me, but she refused to eat it as it was in a bowl rather than a plate (all plates were in the dishwater.) she threw a major strop ove r the fact it was in a bowl (she is 5 btw) and refused to eat. aboput 30mins ago i threw the sanwich in the bin. now she is shouting and crying she is hungry. i am refusing to make her anything else as she had 2 hrs to eat a bloody sandwich and refused.

i feel like i'm being a mean mum by making her wait till lunch for more food.

stick to your guns misdee - she is old enough to be reasonable about what her food is served in, she's not three! Nothing like a power struggle in the morning!!

no, i don't think so - at 5, she is old enough to know better - she is asserting her authority and if she wins this time, then rocky road ahead

perhaps ask her to apologise for being rude at not eating the food you made for her, and if she does that, offer her a piece of fruit

Oh poor you, sounds like a bad start to the day.

I would stick to your guns, but maybe plan to have an early lunch.

i have sent her to bed, she seems tired and grouncey to me (and also hungry). the bowl was one of her favourites as well, its not like it was a baby bowl. lunch will be her favourite ham on the bone and fresh bread from the bakery (a, about to go there shortly) so she can wait. she has stopped shouting now, and tbh lunch will be made about 11.30 so not long to wait.

Sometimes we all like to strop for no apparent reason and kids are no different but I do think you have to be strong and not give in to ridiculous things. Sometimes if I ask my two to do something and they don't want to I might rethink and make allowances but sometimes I insist and lay the law down. Repeat after me...!Who is the law? mummy is the law"!

Hope your day gets better and enjoy a peaceful lunch. (Couldn't drop us off a ham sandwich could you - sounds delish).

i also have some nice turkey and dh has corned beef (bit yuk lol). fancy a bit of salad too?

Is he home? Haven't been on MN for a couple of days so I missed this. Don't make him have the corned beef, poor love, let him have a bit of ham!!

he came home last night. he likes corned beef. only one who does lol. right gotta go to the bakery.

misdee-my DS (aged 6)does this (refuse to eat food if it is on the "wrong" plate). He has Aspergers, and Im afraid no amount of persuasion would make him eat it unless we gave him the "right" plate. He would prefer to go hungry.

she isnt aspergers, just a pain in the butt!! she has eaten lunch and now seems happier.

I do this regularly misdee with dd who is 4. She has a set time to eat something (at least 30 minutes). If it isn't eaten in this time it goes. I don't shout though, just take it away,and ignore protests.

its hard to ignore her, she cant be like a broken record and repeats things over and over in the same whiney voice. 'i dont want a nowl, i want a plate' 100+ times in a few minutes, drive you close to madness (maybe slight exergation of how many times, but its very annoying)

misdee - although independence and a strong will are a pain in a five year old, they are a great quality for an adult

Grit your teeth,smile and nod misdee.
Remember principles of behaviourism. If you give in even once, you are reinforcing and therefore perpetuating undesirable behaviour!!