Am i a sugar phobic mad mummy?

[moongirl]

The kids have a very lovely relationship with a friend of mine who is ALWAYS giving them sweets, chocolates, cakes. She seems to think it's the way to their hearts (she's probably right!) but 1) i don't want them to think sweets are a treat--they are young enough to innocently believe a plain biscuit or banana is a treat 2) i don't want them to eat so much c**p (we see a lot of her) 3)i don't want to criticise this friend who gives her own older kids so much sugar it would give a dentist cold sweats....I have tried the "oh no thanks they won't eat their tea" but she either slips them a cake and makes me out as evil mum or gives her own kids something which causes tantrums in mine. Should i just chill or stick to my principles!

Stick to your guns, definitely!!! Might be hard but your kids will be a lot better off for it!!

Stick to your principles. If it was me I would tell her straight, in the nicest possible way that its just not on. Perhaps if she had to take them to the dentist and saw them having fillings and getting upset, she might think twice! If she's a good friend she will understand.

hmmmm, but how? Perhaps i should get in there first and offer her kids cream crackers or apple chunks next time--i'd love to see the look on their faces

thats hard, but i agree with wk and dahlia. maybe they could have one cake or chocolate thing and then grapes, raisins, chopped up banana etc, all set out like a picnic??

Make it clear to your friend that giving your kids those things is not on, and always have something on hand to give as an alternative.

No, stick to your principles - I know it's hard, but would it be worth having a word in her shell like when the kids are not around, and tell her that you're really serious about the issue?

Moongirl I am getting cold sweats just reading this.
I despair of this attitude and have to deal with the fallout every day at work. It breaks my heart.
I regularly see three year olds with decayed, abscessed, painful teeth. The parents sometimes expect me to wave a magic wand over their child's mouth to make it all better. They all (with a few exceptions) know sugar rots teeth but are nearly always astonished it has happened to THEIR kid.

I'm off to consider a career change

My MIL and I fell out regularly over this issue. She was always popping chocolate buttons in DD's mouth (at around 9 months FGS). She used to say it wouldn't hurt as she didn't have any teeth then. As DD's teeth came in and the sneaky "treats" continued I said one day "when her teeth are black and rotten you can take her to the dentist and explain why". She still tries to give them too much crap to eat now and I always intervene and put half of it in the bin. Lollies are my bugbear and she's always buying loads of them. Don't get me wrong, my children do have sweets but supervised, not stuffed in their faces sneakily in the other room where mummy can't see. What kind of message is that giving a child?

Rant over.!!

In defence of some parents...I am that parent that is strict with the diet, no fizzy pop or sugary drinks, lots of fruit/veg etc, always brush twice a day, small amount of sweets once a week eaten all at once blah blah...and guess whose son has 2 (small white) fillings. It is not fair - esp. when I see what other kids have in their diets and they have no fillings.

paolosgirl what a bummer!
You can take solace in the fact that your child is probably v. susceptible to decay (wrong type of oral bacteria)and your extreme care has stopped him from having more severe dental problems.