This week's veg box is...

[Habbibu]

Potatoes 1 kg
Onions 0.3 kg
Carrots 0.5 kg
french beans 0.2 kg
courgettes 0.3 kg
chard 0.15 kg
milan turnip 0.4 kg
midi cucumbers 1 head
lettuce 1 head

Go on - inspire me...

Are they still male then? Have you tried tickling them suggestively with paintbrushes?

Dundee, fgs. Why do you and Thready insist on living in these places. We'll never have a mass Wank.

And encouraging them to change gender by tickling? One or two paltry females. Have not been feeding them, and the bees are awful sluggish right now. And it's Too Bloody Wet to go anywhere near them. I have big plans for next year, though - big raised beds and raspberry canes, I think.
We live in NE Fife, to be precise, and it is impossibly lovely. It's also legal to visit...

I was only joshing. I'm sure it's a great deal more gorgeous than Walton on Thames. I've actually never been to Scotland - rubbish isn't it? (Rubbish of me I mean.)

Wasn't it you on a previous courgette/female flowers thread? And someone knowledgeable came on and said that you could change the gender by the paintbrush method? On that basis I started madly tickling my 'pepper' plant flowers, which is how I've ended up with about 100 chillis

You should come, pw! Scotland is tremendous (am an incomer myself). Oh, I'd assumed that you'd been cross-fertilising - and yes, I do remember the thread. Speaking of threads, does Thready live up here then? So we can have a devolved wankery?

Well she's 'up there' from my POV - Durham or Northumberland or somewhere My First Atlas for Big Girls and Boys tells me that it's not actually very near Fife.

When I finally make it up there you'll be the first to know.

DSs 1 & 2 were born in Inverness. We lived very rurally nr the West Coast.

Policywonk - I will have treeloads of apples in about 3 weeks. Apples for blackberries? I wonder who else, reasonably locally, might have a surfeit of produce around then?

Oooh, pies . Yes please.

I'm sure OBM and IB can be roped in - I don't think either of them have any produce as such, but IB makes a mean cake. Other than that I suppose it's a question of whether you want to throw it open with a general invitation on MN Local...

Good God. It's the Wankers' Village Fete. You must have competitions. And who will play the vicar?

Habbibu