What to feed fussy family over Xmas?

[FussyGits]

Family members are visiting over Christmas.

No dairy as one member has an allergy.

No roast as they will have at least two, if not three over the festive period. No post Christmas curry type meal as they do version they like and we’d just get an unfavourable comparison.

Ideally No chicken/poultry as I can’t imagine they’ll want it again. No fish as one family member doesn’t like it and is liable to make ‘yuck’ type comments.

No salt for a health concern/general dislike.

No onions, garlic or spices.

No condiments.

No cooked in sauce type things.

They like very bland food and prefer traditional British type stuff. I’d be happy to make two versions if it got me roughly in the right area.

What the hell can I make?

I use the flora plant butter for mash and it's nice.

Mash, a pie and veg would be my go to - just make sure the pastry for the pie is dairy free (jus rol puff is I think but double check that!)

@FussyGits plant butter is lovely. I’ve just made a pan of ‘winter mash’ which is pots, sweet potatoes, carrot, swede, parsnips and a knob of plant butter it’s delish

Ham egg and chips
Or a takeaway!

Mash with oat milk and vegan block butter is tasty - you can't tell the difference.
Oat "cream" if you want it more luxurious

Jesus Christ.

Tell them to piss off down the chippy.

How many meals do you have to do?

Re steak and chips - if you can afford it (it's not cheap) buy a whole fillet (or two, depending on size). You sear it and then finish it in the oven like a roast, but then you can carve off steak-like pieces and serve as you would a steak. Check recipes - I think the one my friend uses sears it then cooks it at a fairly low temperature for longer and it always comes out beautifully.

Similarly, you can roast a bone in/rib on sirloin then slice it up to serve as steak.

Mash works quite well with a bit of stork and oat milk but personally, I don' tlike it that way so just be warned.

What about tomato based pasta dishes - if they'll eat them?

Beef casserole with dumplings and jacket potatoes or baguettes. Perhaps open a couple of bags of leaves or steam some green beans if you wants something “fresh” on the table.

The onion in the casserole can be swapped for celery to provide the base note.

Easy to prepare comfort food! You’d just need to offer a dairy free-spread for the potatoes and/or bread.

Ye Gods, what an annoying bunch. I'd be tempted to do jacket potatoes, with a variety of sausages, burgers, chicken drumsticks, pork chops or gammon, served with baked beans, a big bowl of peas, baguettes, and some basic salad without dressing. You can provide butter and a dairy-free alternative spread.

You can do a big fruit salad for afters, with a choice of vanilla ice cream or dairy-free cream.

😂😂 I know sod that for a game of soldiers

Tell them to eat at their own house cheeky bas.tards

@kelsaycobbles yes absolutely worth checking.

I suggested all the toast because:

1. toast is awesome

2. I can't have dairy and it is pretty easy to find bread that doesn't have it

Beige buffet
Fish and chips (and that allows fish hater to choose an alternative).
Homemade pie and chips (bought puff pastry is generally vegan so is suitable) - several alternatives to this with tartlets - shove various different toppings on top as you please. Google has lots of opinions on what you can do.

Or pizza. Homemade pizza is easy peasy. Everyone can choose their own toppings. And it's easy to do a diary free alternative option as lots of diary free cheeses available or alternatively no cheese.

I like a leftover turkey and ham pie , leeks creamy sauce

@FussyGits

"Condiments are for the morally inferior types and generally attract negative comments."

What on earth does that mean? I can assure your group (whoever they are) that the upper echelons absolutely use condiments. Apple sauce for pork, horseradish for beef, cranberry sauce with venison and mustard with sausages - and yes, even tomato ketchup with chips! A meal would be quite incomplete without them. Good grief, what are they talking about.

Christ what a miserable bunch. I certainly would not be inviting them!

Just tell them to get a chippy

How dare they tell you what they want.

I'd just cater for the real allergies, the fussy eaters can eat what they're given - or not.

Steak pie. Mash. Gravy. Veg

Burgers and chips would be easier and cheaper than steak. Cook it all on the oven, serve with rolls and salad (and condiments..)

Are you only feeding them once? If not you could do sausages or beef pie with mash and green veg another night.

Dutch stamppot - a mixed carrot and potato mash. No dairy, just broth - in fact this is one of the few dishes that actually work just as well using bouillon cubes rather than the real thing. Serve with sausage or ham. Very soothing which may suit you as well. The single caveat, it does ideally need lots of parsley, but you could add that at the table.

Just no brioche buns for the dairy allergy.

I was going to share the story of my grandmother, who used to make "curry" by frying up curry powder with a packet of mince meat (literally nothing else), but then I guess that would also be "out" as the curry powder would count as spices.

I like the home made burgers idea, with chips and salad.

I think id do that or a fry up. Now hear me out before you judge...

Those posh sausages that are 2 for £5 or 3 for £10. A couple of different varieties, stick little flags in them so people can pick which ones they like. Cook in the oven.

Spanish potatoes. Cube potatoes to 1 cm dice. Par boil for 4 minutes. A large baking tray with a layer of oil, pre heat, put potatoes in, 40 minutes in the oven. No seasonings, so they're like mini roasties but breakfast potatoes!

Another tray in the oven of halved tomatoes and mushrooms. I normally put butter on the mushrooms but I'm sure a drizzle of oil would work.

So all in the oven, no fuss, can be pre prepped. Your only issue is the eggs! I'd ask, scrambled or fried and make just before serving.

Chutneys, sauces on the table for people that fancy it.

Hot roast pork sandwiches and dairy free sticky toffee pudding with alpro custard