What to feed fussy family over Xmas?

[FussyGits]

Family members are visiting over Christmas.

No dairy as one member has an allergy.

No roast as they will have at least two, if not three over the festive period. No post Christmas curry type meal as they do version they like and we’d just get an unfavourable comparison.

Ideally No chicken/poultry as I can’t imagine they’ll want it again. No fish as one family member doesn’t like it and is liable to make ‘yuck’ type comments.

No salt for a health concern/general dislike.

No onions, garlic or spices.

No condiments.

No cooked in sauce type things.

They like very bland food and prefer traditional British type stuff. I’d be happy to make two versions if it got me roughly in the right area.

What the hell can I make?

Sounds familiar 🤣
I don't cater anymore for my family members who are like this. We go out to a carvery now and that's what's happening on Boxing Day 🙌🏻🙌🏻

DH (who is a food history buff) has just suggested looking up some war time recipes because they were bland, simple and largely bereft of spices.

But my wider comment is ... ugh, Nightmare.

Go to the pub and everyone orders and pays for what they like?

Cottage or shepherds pie would be my vote with some green veg on the side.

Toast. Lots and lots of toast.

beef and carrot casserole with dairy free mash and peas. I think (based again on almost-vegan DH) that unsweetened oat milk works best.

Dog biscuit and a glass of water each.

In seriousness, I would probably do a salad and some ham baguettes or something.

For dairy allergy you will need to be careful with almost anything you buy - it can crop up in bread ( for the toast poster) , pastries and all sorts of other stuff

My late mother always made mash with some of the potato water. Add a bit of parsley if they like that?

They sound like a bloody nightmare and I wouldn’t want them visiting.

Condiments are for the morally inferior types and generally attract negative comments. I LOVE a condiment.

I had no idea it wasn’t me being unreasonable about food. Isn’t it funny how you just get used to things.

I second the sausage & mash, or
pie, you could use margarine instead of butter, if you could eat that.

I would go with the party food buffet with loads of options

And a fried egg.

Oh the irony at these fusspots declaring condiments to be morally inferior! Have they offered any suggestions as to what they would like to eat?

Mash doesn't HAVE to have butter, especially if its served with gravy. A splash of hot stock maybe, or some of the grease from the sausages if doing sausage and mash.
Or just salt and pepper (a ricer helps with really creamy mash) and put butter on the table that those who like can add it.

Pastry- stork baking margarine (the stuff in blocks) makes a good short crust pastry and is dairy free.

Beef pie, mash and veg

Quiche. My old fashioned parents like it more like an egg and bacon pie. Quite firm, not with cream and all soft and fluffy

Cottage or shepherd's pie
Toad in the hole

Pork chops, with mash, veg, apple sauce.
Lamb hot pot
Beef casserole

How do they make a curry with no herbs or spices?!

Pie and mash.

I'm also wondering about their oh-so-superior curry featuring no spices, onion or garlic

Yes, how?!

OK, there is a big difference between fussy and bloody rude!
If its not on their plate they don't get to comment or complain about what you are serving other people.

I've got parents with limited likes, very traditional meat n veg tastes. (And me too tbh, I also hate fish) but wouldn't be rude about you serving other things for other people
I'm also confused about hating sauce or spices but eating curry???

Does it have to be a big meal? If I'd had 2-3 roasts by this period, I'd be craving something lighter - maybe a lovely soup with nice breads and cheeses?

Is a mild chilli out of the question?

We are both fussy eaters. When we last visited family I sent a Tesco delivery to them and we cooked out own food two days and got a takeaway for everyone one day.

Cottage pie or Toad in the hole with mash (flora plant butter)?

I’m going to follow up my “how do they make curry without herbs or spices” question with another one.

WHO RHE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE?