Help! My 5 year won’t eat ANYTHING and is losing weight

[Helapaloosa]

First of all, I do not mean to insult anyone but I would like advice from parents who have dealt with a child who does not eat and what has worked for them.

My 5 year old has gone on full eating strike. He was never a great eater but would eat enough to sustain his weight and would always eat a variety of healthy meals. But over the last 6 months he has barely been nibbling on any food, does not eat any carbs anymore, even dropped how much milk he takes.

In a day, for breakfast, he would barely finish 200ml milk, at lunch take a bite of sandwich, one or two piece of fruit, will eat yogurt for snack and then maybe two mouthfuls of dinner. He has now lost over 2 kg weight in 3 months and is dropping centile.

I have tried the following:

• having him involved in making the meal- still barely takes a bite
• no pressure eating as a family, will still take over an hour to eat in the meal
• eating out and setting an example, still wouldn’t barely take a bite
• offering a variety, high calorie meals, hidden veg etc still won’t even take a bite.
• he is obviously not eating enough throughout the day and not even grazing

He is now taking the tiniest bites of his meal and the meal times has become trigger for him and he becomes very anxious at home and at school.

Does anyone have advice about how we can manage the situation better as it is causing a lot of stress at home as well.

Would he eat ice cream, cake, biscuits?

You need to find out why. Is he feeling unwell? Sad or worried? Is school going ok?
Don’t stuff him with junk.

just a thought but perhaps it’s the textures of the food he doesn’t like. Are there any signs that he might be autistic? I only suggest this because I think I read a dislike of food textures is one way this can present. I’d probably go to the GP at this point or a child psychologist, and for now probably do anything to keep calories up, even if this is giving into him eating whatever he wants even if it’s junk at this stage until you can look into it further medically. It’s difficult, I really sympathise.

Have you seen any medical professionals?

Do you already have SALT involvement? They were really good with us and we had messy play/food play sessions and some therapy sessions. Mine was a little different because he didn't ever eat well so it wasn't a case so much of dropping food it was getting him eating at all.
Is there any possibility of illness? I'd be concerned about that if a bit change and I would look at whether the anxiety is causing the food avoidance and if so what is causing the anxiety.

Will he drink milkshakes? Chocolate, whole milk, peanut butter and banana can cram in a lot of calories and nutrients.

That is a huge drop in weight, extremely worrying. It might be linked to anxiety/ reduced appetite but it could be other things. My son is similar (now 18) but nowhere near this bad. He stops eating when he's stressed.

You need to go to a doctor quickly for referral

Just let him eat what he likes in the meantime. If he wants McDonalds take him there, if he likes yoghurt let him have 3 per day. If he likes pizza, as much as he wants. Chocolate cake? You need to build up his appetite a bit in order to start getting healthier things in him. Does he actually like milk? I personally hate it and 5 is a bit old. Would he like golden syrup porridge? (My son loves sweet things).

Obvious advice to see an HCP.
But outwith that, we have always had issues with our son, as his meds affect his appetite- which is non-existent. We found that letting him have his iPad whilst he is eating and giving him a grazing plate meant he was eating more without thinking or he sits infront of the TV and eats. He still does this now as a late teen. I know screentime and meals is frowned on here, but quite frankly when the lack of food is affecting their growth, then etiquette comes bottom of the pile.

You need to see your GP and get an urgent referal to a dietitian. In the mean time let him eat when he wants and what he wants, offer him tiny plates of snacks when he is watching TV. Don’t put lots on the plate.

Used to but now would only take a few bites of treats. He may want it but then cry that he doesn’t after I give it to him.

I’ve spoken to school, he is doing well and loves to play and has lots of friends. But there is anxiety around lunch which the teachers have noticed as well. He doesn’t like to be rushed but at school there is only 30mins to eat lunch

I’ve made an appointment to see a dietician but I worry they will just say everything that I have already tried

He actually likes milk and asks for it but struggling to drink it taking sips at a time. Doesn’t find enjoyment in food either anymore so not eating McDonald’s, pizza only taking small small bites

I’ve tried that too, used to eat whilst watching TV but now just stares at the screen and nothing goes in. I find it a little better without

Agree with PP, get him to a dr. This is serious. Was there a trigger for this? An illness? Choking? Bereavement? How does he explain his lack of appetite? Just not hungry? Not liking the food? Being scared of the food? Does he ever say he's hungry?

I’m giving pediasure milkshakes which is the only substance that he’s taking but he doesn’t want to take the full
amount

I think you need a doctor before the dietician.
A dosctor can diagnose, a dietician will be helpful to make the most of what appetitie he has.

This amount of food refusal/anxiety around food is definitely something that needs escalating.

I'm a doctor, this would warrent a referral to specialist services in my practice

It could be that food is making him feel ill. Maybe he can't explain it or has been like it to some extent for ages and is used to it so won't say for example he has a tummy ache. "Behavioural" food issues can be linked to conditions such as coeliac. I'd definitely see the GP to rule out medical issues.

Could he be having an intolerance or allergy and he's started associating food with physical discomfort?

Ah cross post.

What has the GP said? Some children avoid foods that they are allergic to or cause them other issues long before the problem is picked up by parents and medical professionals.

Have physical reasons been investigated - issues with mouth, teeth, tongue, oesophagus?

How is his general growth and activity levels?

Any health issues in the immediate or extended family. Particularly food allergies.

Have you looked into ARFID?

If he continues like this then presumably a feeding tube will be required.

Would he eat in the dark like at the cinema where the munching is more mindless and less focus is on it?

We’ve had a new baby who is now 1 years old. He was ok when the baby was younger but it all seems to have worsened since I’ve gone back to work? We may have made the anxiety around meals worse by bringing too much attention to it but now we are making conscious effort not to make the environment stressful but it still causes anxiety. It’s also noted in school as well. This is food that he always used to like but now won’t even look at. And despite not eating anything doesn’t really say he’s hungry. He may himself try and get a snack but it’ll be a small yogurt or biscuit

He never really complains of discomfort after meals. His poos are ok too. Seems to be growing tall but I have noticed a reduced energy, napping in the afternoon and lack of interest in playing

Probably should see GP as well

Please engage with the GP

and if you have tried and been fobbed off go to another one

even if its all anxiety related you would benefit from some specialist input