Do you eat the same food at the same time as your children - everyday?

[McDreamyGonagall]

This has got me thinking after reading another thread.

I really want to increase the amount of times we do this. DH prefers to eat later as he has quite a late lunch but I feel we are missing out on enjoying time with the children, teaching them manners etc.

We do eat with them 2 or 3 times a week, just not every night. Also I tend to cook something different on the nights we don't eat with them. What do you do?

And therefore just like my dd maybe saying she won't wear a scarf because it's yellow and she hates yellow. In other words about control and asserting identity and growing up . Nothing to do with the food itself just as my dd saying she won't wear the yellow scarf today has anything to do with the clothes.

He's fine, thanks, and is getting over things in his own way. you've not met him, or me, so excuse me if I ignore your comments

Actually I agree that control is the reason that my ds1 is fussy about food - and it's not just food - he likes his comfort zone, doesn't like to step outside it in many ways.

So he has decided that he will have a cheese sandwich in his lunchbox, every day for the last 3 years (organic mature chedder on 'best of both', since you ask) If I put any other type of sandwich in there hes imply won't eat it.

I would be bored senseless with the same lunch every day, but that's the way he likes it, it's a healthy sandwich, he eats it, no problem.

I would have a problem if he wanted chocolate spread every day (not that he'd eat chocolate spread) or sugar sandwiches, but a cheese sandwich is fine by me.

DD only 8 months old but have been wondering about this. DH currently gets home at 6.30pm to do her bath most days. Think that is too late to eat for her until she is quite a bit older.

I do think that the parents need couple time and cooking and eating a meal together alone a few times of week is important. Couple time seems to be seriously underrated by some. Being watched while you eat is not relaxing, its not the same. Divorce rates are high thats going to have a bigger impact on your kids than whether they are a fussy eater.

Some children are just fussy hurricane - no-one's fault. They just are.

What's the difference between fussy and 'not liking various foods'? dd doesn't eat fruit - at all, nothing, zilch - the rest of us eat loads. I'm not sure that it makes her 'fussy'. She just doesn't like fruit.

iota - dd only ever has tuna. On white. Oh she may stretch to chicken occasionally.

MB, you haven't ignored my comments. You've obviously taken offence when none was intended. I never said your son wasn't fine just that he obviously has had some issues with food that don't necessariyl have anything to do with its taste in the particular example you gave. This is really just repeating what you've said yourself.

saggers - tuna mayo is only acceptable to ds1 on cream crackers - heavens forbid that it should be served in bread

it's not just about the taste of the food - appearance, smell and texture are also very important to ds1

I think smell and texture are big things for dd too. She has an amazing sense of smell - and will only drink still water, no bubbles, as they set her mouth 'on edge' she says.

I'm not offended.

Given that he had numerous issues with taste of food, this wasn't a control issue. Indeed, he was (and is) and exceptionally non-controling child....unlike my dd!

But as you have never met any of us, I don't feel that you can quickly decide on the cause of his food issues.

Which is, rather, the point that a few people have been making.

you may have had the good fortune to have children who accept a range of foods(as I was with dd). You cannot assume that all children who do not are the result of poor, or over neurotic parenting. generalisations of this type are seldon that helpful.

fgs Hurricane. It's what you have implied in your posts.

You said you are a teacher iirc. Not a dietitian or a child psychologist. Let alone the parent of a child who is a fussy eater.

Only skimmed the thread.

I acknowledge that family meals are important, and we do eat together as a family sometimes, but DH works shifts and/or very long hours, so often isn't around. Plus the lads these days have commitments. Coming in a poor third I too manage to escape the dining table occasionally.

DS1 is another baby that ate everything put in front of him for about six months, then he became very fussy. He knows what he likes, and refused point blank to try other things until he's ready to try them.

DS2 and DS3, although they have their foibles will eat most things, or will at least try.

All three have been weaned and treated the same.

I am extremely fussy myself, even though I was bought up in a household where there was one choice, and that was it.

DH will eat/try most things, with few definite dislikes.

But why do you think hurricane doesnt have fussy eater for children? coincidence? I do agree that some kids dont like certain things just like us (i dont like ginger or thai food at all) this is acceptable.
What is not acceptable is the way some parents allow fussines to a certain degree as has been shown on this thread.

But i have one fussy and one eat anything child. If it were down to parenting, I'd have two like dd who will eat (quite literally) anything, inclusing shell fish, the stinkiest french cheeses, olives, raw fish, sprouts, you name it !

My two are the same one is far more fussy than the other. One sleeps better than the other. One is fightened of fireworks the other isnt. Its more to with each child rather than the parenting. Ive done everything the same with my two but they turned out like chalk and cheese. Like i said, my sister has to cook 3 seperate meals everyday! One for the parents and one each for the two children. This is absurd, and she gets so fed up but darent try to change them now that they are 18 and 11!

If you are going to point out to people where they have 'gone wrong' then one needs to be empathetic at the very least.

I've never cooked different foods, once my two were old enough to eat slightly later (ar 18.00) Doesn't stop ds not liking strawberries (which we all had for pudding) He has an apple. I'm not going to sweat it. Eventually he will realise what he is missing!

'What is not acceptable is the way some parents allow fussines to a certain degree as has been shown on this thread.'

Not acceptable to who?

Agreed its not the eating together or lack of it thats makes them fussy. It the "ok, you dont like broccoli in cheese sauce thats taken me an hour to prepare and cook, ill make you a cheese sandwich instead" that does it.

Oh god, the idea of eating every evening at five fecking thirty, with the Inferiorettes knackered and me not hungry, and the usual war zone that the table becomes...you are joking, right?

If I'm in charge of breakfast, they eat it with me. At the weekend, we eat lunch together - an event which can be quite jolly or can end up with us growling 'NO, DD2, EAT IT' as I slump my head in my hands. In the evening Mr Inferior and I grunt companiably at each other over our respective books as we eat something which is probably quite nice.

I like food. I like proper food. I do a reasonable job of feeding them food which is fairly proper. But I also really rather like chilling out in the evening, and a Family (shudder - god I hate that word) Meal is, I assure you, not the route to chilling-out. Not in the Inferiority Complex it isn't.

oliveoil is the only one i can think of at the moment without going right through the thread again. Oh and my sister and my best friend.

Wine; wine is the answer MI!

Ah, wine.

The saviour of many a meal.

For many a different reason.

I have to say a nice glass of wine frequently gets me through a Sunday lunch