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The MN food guilt phenomenon

362 replies

emkana · 21/11/2006 16:07

Tonight I am serving my children

Bird's Eye chicken dippers
Bird's Eye fish fingers
McCain Oven chips
Broccoli
Heinz Baked Beanz

I feel that my mind has been twisted so much that I actually feel bad at producing such a "poor" dinner. But that's silly, isn't it? I mean it's 100 % chicken breast (plus batter, 100 % cod (plus batter), potatoes and sunflower oil...

OP posts:
EllieChocolateOrange · 23/11/2006 09:40

ps. not a fishfinger IN a glass of water, and not ONLY served with a glass of water (maybe some home-made mash and peas as well)!

Bozza · 23/11/2006 09:47

Well a glass of water probably needs no moderation at all. A fruit shoot needs a lot of moderation and a fish finger is probably somewhere in the middle. I am not arguing against the OP because I agree that is an adequate, balanced meal which is all that emkana ever meant it to be AFAICS. My kids tonight will be having spag bol with watered down fruit juice. And I think that is OK too. But I just think there is too much of a backlash against good diet/home cooking etc.

Issymum · 23/11/2006 09:52

EllieOrange said: "I was brought up in africa. we ate all organic veg, but (virtually) our only protein was tinned luncheon meat, tinned corned beef, tinned tuna - which we ate every single day for 10 years! My husband gew up in sri lanka, nothing processed, no sweets (no dentist either, so terrible teeth!) but, in his opinion, he was still undernourished (all his relations who were brought up here are much taller). So really, as long as the diet is balanced - enough vitamins, protein, fibre etc. - that's all that matters to me."

That's interesting Ellie. DD2 (just 4) is on the 4th percentile for height and the 0.5th percentile for weight. She's full of energy but very thin. Some of this (the height) is explained by being Cambodian, some by pre-natal malnutrition, but also by the fact that, although she eats a wide variety of foods, she eats tiny portions. As a probably over-anxious mother I asked our Health Visitor to see her. Our Health Visitor is lovely, sensible and thoughtful. Her view was that DD2's stomach is probably tiny - about the size of her (DD2's) fist. This means that every mouthful she eats needs to be packed with calories. The HV advised that, whilst we should keep up with the fruit and vegetables, we should restrict her intake of cereal, pulses, wholewheat bread etc. as they will fill her up for a comparatively small number of calories. She needs protein rich and, this is really difficult culturally, fat-rich food. The HV's view was that all highly active, young children should, unless they are overweight, be eating the nutritional equivalent of a '1950s' diet - cooked breakfast, "meat and two veg" and pudding and custard to follow for lunch, traditional high tea. Clearly it can be adapted and updated for today's tastes. This isn't about feeding children highly processed food, but avoiding 'muesli belt starvation'.

So at 7am you can find me in the kitchen, Cath Kidston apron on, smiling beatifically and making scrambled eggs and toast and fruit smoothies for the DDs and DH (also very skinny).

Actually the bit about the apron and the beatific smile is a lie.

Bozza · 23/11/2006 10:05

Interesting issymum. DS if 5 and probably fairly average height and weight wise but to me he looks so skinny - all ribs on show etc, shoulder blades sticking right out etc. I think partly in his case it is because he is big boned that they are so pronounced. And I was saying to DH the other day that maybe I ought to start doing more puddings and so did semolina and stewed fruit. I have heard about "muesli malnutrition" before but both DS and DD snack on cheese which is obviously pretty fattening as I know to my cost. And love to have grated cheddar or parmesan on just about any meal they can wangle.

PeachyClair · 23/11/2006 10:32

Issymum, my ds's (1st and 3rd ones) were like that, Sam was on 0.4th centile for a while and DS3 on 2nd, the besta dvice we fgot that made a huge difference was to add olive oil to food that are savoury- its healthier than other fats, yet ahs the calories that they need.

Part of ds1's problems is that he has numerous allergies and hates meat, he is also AS which restricts textured things (he ahtes gritty for instance). We're not sure about ds3 yet.

EllieChocolateOrange · 23/11/2006 10:35

Oh gosh, yes Issymum, in my haste I forgot fat and carbohydrate as essential for meals. My ds is a little on the small side (started on 75th centile, dropped to 9th, now on 25th). anyway, i was told to give him lots of carbs (pasta, rice) as good for energy-burning and 'fatty foods' so he has rice pudding made with cream, greek yoghurt and even rolo chocolate pudding! however, i think the main thing is for him to drink enough milk...

twinklemegan · 23/11/2006 13:52

Not read very far yet, but CountessDracula, we can't all afford organic free range chicken, organic potatoes, etc. how ever much we might want to. BTW I don't usually buy the factory farmed variety of chicken either, I just don't buy it at all.

saythatagain · 23/11/2006 13:58

Agree with Issymum; I have followed that style of diet for my dd since weaning. She has no 'problems' height/weight-wise and no allergy issues (yet) but the energy consumption at that age (2+) is huge.
I follow the rule of thumb that I give my family the best that our finances can afford....end of.
I also think that by denying my dd all types of food could spell trouble for the future with regards to over indulging in the not-so-desirable food stuffs.

ShinyHappyStarOfBethlehem · 23/11/2006 16:08

I have just completed a YouGov survey that was about how long you/your partner spend cooking for your children and how often the meals are cooked 'from scratch'.

I wonder if yet another of our volatile MN discussions have captured the gaze of a mainstream audience?

Tanktop · 23/11/2006 17:57

God knows how I made it to adulthood as I was virtually raised on processed food. Chips every night with crispy pancakes, frozen burgers and the likes. Poor mum wasn't exactly delia in the Kitchen. Glad 2 say that it doesnt seem to have done me or my 2 siblings any lasting damage. None of us are overweight and we all are reasonably fit and healthy. I do eat much healthier now and would never dream of feeding DD processed crap like my mum fed me. Surely its all about everything in moderation.

fubsy · 23/11/2006 20:00

DD was weaned onto organic fruit and veg, grown by a friend, lovingly moulied into a puree. This was followed by me spending every minute I had cooking Annabel Karmel and Organix recipes and freezing them.

By the age of 2 she would eat nothing but smilies, eggs and shippams paste sandwiches. (Mind you she would have it on wholemeal bread. This was also in minute quantities. My HV got fed up with me constantly worrying that she said even if DD wuld only eat one baked bean that would be ok.

Now she eats a reasonable range of things, but quite a lot are processed. She has fewer colds and days off school than any other child I know, and has boundless energy. She is skinny and I sometimes have trouble getting clothes to fit, as she also is tall for her age.

We keep offering her new things to try, some get absorbed into her diet, some dont. But Im not going to break my neck trying to provide a made from scratch hot meal every night of the week.

It is possible to get organic chicken nuggets and strips (goujons!), and I saw fish fingers being made (on Big Cook Little Cook I think ) and they seemed to just be made of fish fillets, saw no arses! (fish also have cloacas dont they?)

How on earth would you get away from eating food with additives anyway? Do you know what they use to take the cruddy stuff out of wine? Fish scales!

Love these threads by the way. Sometimes DD eats her nuggets and chips in just HER PANTS!!!!

(mad gibbering cackles of laughter.....)

WideWebWitch · 23/11/2006 20:03

Oh marvellous, this is still going! Thank you Bozza et al. Sorry if I sound smug. Ok, in an effort to not seem so, er, smug, I'd like to point out that my relationship with food isn't dead simple either.

My mum was a good cook and almost everything we ate was cooked from scratch, mainly because we were v poor and also, probably, because there wasn't much choice, this was the 70s. So a chicken would HAVE to feed 5 of us AND yield leftovers, portion sizes were seriously controlled. There were NEVER sweets/treats in the house although my mum now tells me she baked reasonably often but I don't remember it. I didn't care about food at all and ate to stay alive, that was it. Was v v skinny and then left home at 17 and WENT ON UTTER POT NOODLE FEST for years and years. And lived on pizza and chips and fags and wine and somehow, stayed v thin. Nervous energy maybe. Boyfriends would comment on my lack of vitamin and mineral intake, nay, apologise if they cooked a meal that was good for me.

THEN, aged 30, I got pregnant with ds and realised I ought to start to care about this stuff. So I started to do some research and read a lot and taught myself to cook and found I liked it a lot and was ok at it.

So anyway, I've been verging on being a smug bastard wrt food ever since. See, I'm like one of those reformed smokers! Hang on, I'm one of them too, er, hmmm. But I am very fat as a result of not smoking and loving food so really, loving food and cooking hasn't done me an awful lot of good in the past few years.

Anyway, I know your heart isn't bleeding here but actually, I wish I didn't love food so much. My idea of heaven is a crisp roast chicken skin or some garlic mayo with fat prawns or crisp roast potatoes or pork with cracking...

Pruni · 23/11/2006 20:09

Message withdrawn

unknownrebelbang · 23/11/2006 20:29

Me too. You two can share the garlic mayo n prawns though.

joelallie · 23/11/2006 20:29

ALright you miserable self-righteous bggers!!! You know who you are!!!!! Thanks to the MN food guilt thing I have just spent hours slaving over home-made bldy chicken nuggets and home-made bl*dy chip-type-thingys and guess what??????

They loved them and ate every last mouthful and fought over the last ones.....

Thank MN food police.....

Mercy · 23/11/2006 20:30

Issymum, I find yr post really interesting (from the pov that your dds are originally from SE Asia) rather than they both/one dd may have suffered malnutrition during pregnancy.

Being of mixed Asian/British descent myself I have been seriously annoyed with the attitude of some NHS staff. I can give several examples but this is not the right thread.

All I can say is that very generally speaking the weight/height charts shouldn't apply to your dds (assuming they eat reasonably well). They should not have to 'conform' to white indigenous standards in terms of their body shape/weight.

Sorry I didn't mean it to be a mini rant. But allowances need to be made for all different kinds of reasons.

JanH · 23/11/2006 20:54

Can I just pop in here to say how wonderful I find it that gggl, ex-HV, gourmet cook, and lover of all things foodie, actually a) paid £1.50 a tin for spag hoops and b) encouraged her DC to eat them

kylester · 23/11/2006 21:02

Can I just say that if we all weren't all on MN posting messages we could be making proper food for ourselves and all the DC we have.

WideWebWitch · 23/11/2006 21:04

kylster, but some of us are doing BOTH!

kylester · 23/11/2006 21:05

bugger me you are good!!!

joelallie · 23/11/2006 21:08

yeah kylester... some of us are.......

OK..first time but I can be smug too!!

kylester · 23/11/2006 21:14

Check me out:
I cooked my DS sweet potato today and he loved it, then made DH cod, parsley sauce, potatoes and broccoli, all whilst having a row with him. He's lucky it didn't all land on his head....

kismet1 · 23/11/2006 23:22

I've been veggie for life and goodness knows how long I'll be able to come up with healthy veggie meals for DS now that DD has arrived and cuts back my time but I can't help finding some of the opinions , or t least the way they are expressed on here, a tad rude! That you care enough to ask, Emkana, shows you to be a good mum in my book.....

latchy · 24/11/2006 12:15

had great fun reading all this so here's my quicky tea for DD and DH

1 ready cooked chicken

1 packen of fresh micro wave veg (sprouts, broc and carrots) takes 5 mins

1 packet of microwave new pots with herb butter takes 7 mins

whole meal can be ready and on the table in 15 mins and the beauty of it is.......NO WASHING UP as it all packets go in bin!!!!
Quick, easy and nutritious

expatinscotland · 24/11/2006 12:19

DD1 loves Nutella

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