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Original poster

Going out of my mind!! 7 Year old who eats nothing but rubbish!!

130 replies

Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:22

OK, I am at the end of my teather now. My 7 year old DS is stick thin (although average height) and falls ill at the drop of a hat, and all I can put it down to is his crappy diet. But I have tried all I know to get him to eat healthier.

His diet literally consists of:

Breakfast - Coco pops or toast
Lunch - bread roll with only butter (hates all sandwich fillings), crisps and a banana or apple
Dinner - rotation of beans on toast, chicken nuggets, burger, or fish fingers, all with smiley faces or chips.

The only veg he will eat is carrots, buy he will eat fruit if he's in the mood (apples, satsumas, grapes, bananas)

I make homemade burgers with carrot hidden, but other than than he eats nothing else I can smuggle veg into. He doesn't eat any "saucy" foods to make with hidden things and he will not try anything.

He does eat sweets occasionally but he doesn't fill himself up on crap during the day. He literally has 3 meals and if he comes home from school hungry he has fruit.

Has anyone got kids similar? How do you get on? HAs anyone got any tips? I've tried bribary, threatening, ignoring, a new tastes diary. I just want him to eat the same as the rest of the family.

By the way I have 2 other sons who will eat and try pretty much everything. So what did I do wrong this time?

OP posts:
moondog · 05/09/2006 22:23

Errr,why are you feeding him this shit then?
As long as you buy it for him,he will continue to eat it.

misdee · 05/09/2006 22:25

err have to agree withj moondog (very rare on food issues )

serve up one big meal for the family, if he dont eat it then tough. kids dont starve themselves.

Original poster
Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:26

Because I have tried putting what we eat in front of him and I can assure you he would rather starve! He is a very emotional (probably due to his lack of nutrients) child and honestly if you had to live with it you would do the same.

I know it is awful to put "this crap" in front of him, but how long do I leave it before I have to feed him?

OP posts:
FlipFloppinRubyRioja · 05/09/2006 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soapbox · 05/09/2006 22:29

I think you have to break the cycle - he's emotional because he is eating crap food.

You need to get tough and phase out all the rubbish over say, 4 weeks. He eats what is put in front of him or nothing. Clear all the rubbish out of the house - no one needs to eat junk so just get rid.

Kids do not starve themselves, even although you might worry that he will. In time if he eats it or starves, his body will demand that he eats!

Original poster
Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:29

Thank you flipfloppin. I was about to say thanks for nothing! I have tried making him try, and refusing to cook a separate meal - its the last thing I need, cooking two meals, especially since I am starting uni in February (yes, I am a dumb mum, but I am quite intelligent!!) My other two sons enjoy a varied and balanced diet, after all I understand basic nutrition. So why just him?

OP posts:
moondog · 05/09/2006 22:30

CH,stand firm
(BTW,did you get my CAT asking you to send me the survey again pls? Summat up with 'puter.)

Original poster
Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:31

Thanks Soapbox, I know deep down that this is the only route, but I feel so mean. He is a very stubborn child (Taurean!) and he could go a long time!

OP posts:
Original poster
Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:31

Yes, Moondog, will send it on now....

OP posts:
FlipFloppinRubyRioja · 05/09/2006 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misdee · 05/09/2006 22:34

because he knows you will serve it up?

you are not a dumb mum, but kids really do play you.

if i was concerned about my dd2 lack of eating and serving up just wants she wants to eat then it would be a diet of smiley faces, no veg, bananas, nuggets, and sausages. oh and curry and rice.

as it stands, i will serve up one meal, if she doesnt eat it, then she doesnt get anything else. dd2 is very sensitive with textures, so lots of encouragment and water needed at meal times, if she throws it up because she gags, then its a case of clear her up and carry on. yes sometimes i think why bother, but her behaviour gets worse on crap food.

that and dd1 food allergies are getting worse, so they have no choice now. its home cooked food or macdonalds for them (the one place i can check the ingediants list)

soapbox · 05/09/2006 22:34

I do sympathise - we slipped on the food front a bit over the holidays with lots more 'treats' than usual.

So sat down with them on Monday and told them it was back to one 'treat' a day, and they were rather shocked!

However, I have stood firm and they did not even ask for anything this evening!!

moondog · 05/09/2006 22:35

If my dd refuses breakfast,I send her out with nothing.

Original poster
Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:37

Tonight I made toad in the hole (good quality sausages), with mashed potatoes, broccoli and carrots, but he kicked up a stink, causing my 3 year old to start saying "I don't like it!!" so, to stop any more upset to everyone, he had beans on toast. I then made pancakes with left over mix (made way too much) and he had one with a little sugar. Figured he would get some protein from egg and milk.

But he wouldn't try yorkshire pudding although I explained it was the same thing, and what kid doesn't likek sausages!!??

OP posts:
FlipFloppinRubyRioja · 05/09/2006 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marriedwith2 · 05/09/2006 22:39

i have just joined mumsnet this evening and am thrilled to find someone else whose son eats the same as mine. mine is 3 1/2 i was hoping to get some good advice. i have tried all the tricks in the book but he won't budge. his brother is 1 and will eat virtually anything. it's so nice to have a child that eats! i have tried giving him what we eat and nothing else but will literally starve himself. i think what gets his through the day is his weetabix at breakfast.

to maybe help you, coathanger, i read a fab article in the guardian about a food critic who eats everything who has a 7 year old who lives on pasta and cheese. he took him to M&S (no branded food) gave him his wallet and asked him to go down each aisle and choose something he would like to try from each. they cooked/ate it together and discussed. he now eats asparagas and another variety of cheese and bizarrely smoked salmon. he now likes to go shopping and chooses something each time he goes. worth a try?

feel i may have to wait another 3 years before ds1 is old enough to understand what i am asking him to do. so sick and tired of flippin' fish fingers!!!

Original poster
Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:39

But bear in mind DS also doesn't eat sweets or cake. He snacks on fruit or milk.

OP posts:
misdee · 05/09/2006 22:39

you gave in! thats where the problem lies. i'm sorry to be sounding like i am judging you, but youcooked it, he should eat it. nothing else on offer.

sounds lovely, i might cook that tomorrow.

moondog · 05/09/2006 22:40

If he sees you spendig a lot of effort cooking,he will kick off more,as it is a power issue.

Dish up,eat it calmly and if he says he doesn't want it,say tonelessly
'There isn't anything else'

I have a 5 year old who would be fussy if indulged,but she isn't,so problem doesn't exist.

moondog · 05/09/2006 22:41

I read that too Married (welcome btw) but for a fussy eater,I feel doing this panders to them even more.

kimi · 05/09/2006 22:42

oh coat hanger i could have written this, DS1 wll eat limited foods and its like he is scared to try new or different things, its hell on earth and he is 10.
He will eat carrots but thats about it veg wise, i have tryed the eat this there is nothing else road but he will then not eat for days. GP was not helpful, sorry no advice, just wanted you to know your not alone.

Original poster
Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:42

Marriedwith2 - sounds good. Might try taking him shopping. He does come to the supermarket with me sometimes but I tend to be in a hurry so its grab what I need and get out - pronto!! Will give him a go next time. Thanks for that

OP posts:
Original poster
Coathanger · 05/09/2006 22:45

I know I gave into him, but if he continued I would have had another child, who at present eats well, a bad habit. He was severly repremanded for his behaviour and it ha been "logged". He is very bright and old before his years in most things so it should be easy to reason with him but this is his "issue". I blame myself completely - I know I am to blame, your judgement is right, but I need tios to help me get over it. I know I did wrong in bringing him up....

OP posts:
littleshebear · 05/09/2006 22:46

I don't think that diet sounds that bad!

I would make all the things he eats just a bit more healthy, gradually - so cut out coco pops, give him toast, pref wholemeal or at least that wholewhite stuff,give him 2 bits of fruit with lunch and a few crisps wrapped up -perhaps a few pringles? and make all the other stuff as healthy as you can - so chicken nuggets with breast meat, organic burgers, fish fillet fingers, and offer a selection of veg, cooked and uncooked with his dinner. Perhaps give him bread with his dinner instead of chips a couple of nights a week - or see if he'll eat homemade wedges.I would also just offer fresh juice or milk to drink.Also get him some multivitamins. I would also normalise what he eats - so if he won't eat what you're having, make sure you share the vegetables or bread or something, and all sit down together.

Apart from that I would just ignore it as I think doing anything else is just likely to be counterproductive. I think your aim should be to maximise his nutrition so it doesn't affect his health, not to make him into a child who will eat anything. It isn't your fault that he's fussy.

My youngest son is pretty fussy but he is now branching out a bit, aged 8. He told me he had a jacket potato and tuna today!("but I didn't like it!") but he tried it, which is amazing.Sometimes he has virtually no dinner at all still but he's pretty robust.I think he's really just not that interested in food - it's just fuel.My other 3 are all excellent eaters! Luck of the draw. I never got too stressed about it as I was pretty fussy myself as a child. He never used to eat saucy things either,or potato, or meat except sausages, or vegetables except peas and raw carrots. He is better now but I don't think he'll ever be adventurous.

Marriedwith2 · 05/09/2006 22:50

you're welcome. M&S was the way to go though. maybe go out on your own with him if you can. really talk about what you're buying/looking at etc. i'll try anything too! I appreciate what everyone else is saying too but it's finding the strength to put up with the tantrums isn't it? day in, day out. to be honest ds1 is an angel, it's just the food. i'd love to do what they do on supernanny/tinytearaways but there you don't have the phone ringing/housework/commitments and you have help and support and encouragement. who does that in your own home? who tells you you're doing a good job there and to persevere?

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