Going out of my mind!! 7 Year old who eats nothing but rubbish!!

[Coathanger]

OK, I am at the end of my teather now. My 7 year old DS is stick thin (although average height) and falls ill at the drop of a hat, and all I can put it down to is his crappy diet. But I have tried all I know to get him to eat healthier.

His diet literally consists of:

Breakfast - Coco pops or toast
Lunch - bread roll with only butter (hates all sandwich fillings), crisps and a banana or apple
Dinner - rotation of beans on toast, chicken nuggets, burger, or fish fingers, all with smiley faces or chips.

The only veg he will eat is carrots, buy he will eat fruit if he's in the mood (apples, satsumas, grapes, bananas)

I make homemade burgers with carrot hidden, but other than than he eats nothing else I can smuggle veg into. He doesn't eat any "saucy" foods to make with hidden things and he will not try anything.

He does eat sweets occasionally but he doesn't fill himself up on crap during the day. He literally has 3 meals and if he comes home from school hungry he has fruit.

Has anyone got kids similar? How do you get on? HAs anyone got any tips? I've tried bribary, threatening, ignoring, a new tastes diary. I just want him to eat the same as the rest of the family.

By the way I have 2 other sons who will eat and try pretty much everything. So what did I do wrong this time?

Message withdrawn

my ds1 sounds quite similar to the boy in the Guardian - very cheese orientated. Also will only eat dry foods, plain pasta etc etc - same as loads of other kids mentioned.

We love our food and cook from scratch mostly too, and have a ds2 who loves to eat adventurously, so it is really frustrating to have a fussy ds1.

On the plus side ds1 is healthy - rarely ill, energetic and doing well at school, so he doesn't seem to be doing too badly on his limited diet.

What I have done is try and make it as healthy as possible - we aim for "5 a day" even if it is usually pretty much the same 5 every day.

On the carbs front he has mashed potato, plain pasta and rice to ring the changes with chips.

I too buy the M&S chicken goujons, as well as make my own - both plain chicken strips and chicken and apple nuggets.

Sometimes I long to starve him into submission, but he is very stubborn and will quite happily skip a main meal - he very rarely eats at friends' houses, even if he is there all day.

If I want him to eat a balanced diet, I have to offer him protein and veg that I know he will eat - otherwise he would just eat a few carbs and leave it at that.

I would dearly love to have 2 kids with ds2's appetite and zest for food, but I don't, so that is just the way it is.

Oxocube - thank you for your support. It is hard, and it is not for want of trying. It is certainly not a case of me wanting to give DS1 this food or even being prepared to give it to him, but I know from previous attempts to wean him onto better food, that it is like going to hell. I know my own child better than anyone, and I know his sobbing isn't attention seeking or preconceived - he is a very highly strung emotional and sensitive child. I know this is a controversial subject, but I am looking into him being a highly sensitive child.....who knows, it might be the answer.

My plan for dinner tonight is high quality fish fingers (so as to gentle ease him into it) home made wedges/chips (not fried, but oven baked) and vegetables.

I know deep down I am not a "bad" mother because they other 2 are good eaters and I consider myself a good mother on other issues. Its just one of 3 on one subject......

OK, can a (very proud) mum stand corrected? I obviously don't know my child!!

After a little chat about the changes that were gooing to happen fro now on, DS1 took a very mature and calm approach to it all I presented him with fish fingers (fillet) home made oven baked chips, carrots and green beans. He already likes fish fingers and carrots so they were not a problem, but to my utter surprise, he tried the chips and he loved them, then low and behold he tried a green bean!! He screwed up his nose but chewed and swallowed and then said he wasn't keen. But I explained that sometimes we have to eat things we don't particularly like but can manage because they are good for us and they really aren't that bad. He agreed and....

ATE THE BLOODY LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He then went on to have mango - yes MANGO!- with ice cream (oh and a little drizzle of choc sauce). But along with the grapes he ate at lunch time and his fruit juice, he has gone from about 2 of his 5 a day to actually getting his 5 (or there abouts)!!!

He has asked if he could try spag bol tomorrow

So thank you all for your tips and advice. I will let you know how we continue

Wow, well done CH & well done to your DS1!!
Wish my children would take that mature approach & try things they aren't keen on!!
Anyway, excellent news! Onwards & upwards eh?!

Thank you PC Remember DS1 is older than your DS1 and in addition he is uite old for his years, so I suppose I shouldn't be shocked by his response to it all. Hope nobody frowns on me for giving him choccie sauce but the ice cream was lovely dairy cornish stuff

Awww I got goosebumps reading that CH

Thats excellent.

VVVQV - I can't tell you how happy I am. Please may it continue! And my response rubbed off on DS1 as he is really chuffed this evening. Bless him!

Oh and i have started him back on Efalex too.

Efalex?

It's all good news, CH!!!
I must add that my children had pasta, broccoli, ham & pasta sauce with cheese on the top tonight! DS1 loved it, but DS2 turned his nose up! Ho hum, you can't please them all!
Tesco man has been btw!!

Bless!!! Good for you and your ds. Fantastic news. Must give you loads of hope and confidence

Have you tried smoothies? Very popular and you can hide all sorts of fruit in them. I also squeeze out the contents of two omega 3/6 capsules in one for my DS every morning and he can't taste it.

Will be exploring the smoothies route very soon but very lucky that DS1 will swallow omega capsules with great ease - 2 at a time!

VVVQV - that's what Efalex is - omega oils

Yes, we're on the Efalex berry blasts as recommended for rude 11yr olds by the Sunday Times!

Ah......

Ta

I was wondering what they were too!

They are very good - see a differnce quite quickly. I hear today on the news, a school is running trials with offering the children omega oils.

Coathanger we alo did a talk with our DD about nutrition, food groups and how different foods give different things. Sounds as if your DS would be able to handle that too and may help with eating !

Yeah for green beans!! Good going.1

Coathanger we alo did a talk with our DD about nutrition, food groups and how different foods give different things. Sounds as if your DS would be able to handle that too and may help with eating !

Day 2 of new regime....

PAcked lunch contains apple juice, wholemeal bread roll (still no filling), organic yoghurt, banana, apple and a few pringles in a little pot (and when I say a few, I mean it).

Dinner tonight is home made spag bol, at DS1's request. Will be smuggling veggies into it too

Just hoping and praying tonight goes as well as last night.........

yay... keep it up, and dont lose heart if one day is not as good as another.

Im trying to follow some of the brill advice here too.

Good luck with it Kimi I hope you have some success.

I am not too worried if it doesn't work out every day, as long as in the long run DS1 improves his eating habits a little. At least we have green beans to fall back on as well as carrots!

I wrote this a couple of years ago and although my son's eating habits have improved a little it has been only because he has wanted to try new things of his own volition. He will now try french fries, chicken and tomatoes. I must be the only parent whose son completely refuses chocolate and says, "yuck" even though he's never tried it!.

"I have read all of the messages to do with this thread and have a great deal of empathy for you all. Unless you've been though the maze of faddy eating with all its ups and downs it is really difficult to appreciate what its like. Its really hard for the parents of said child. I've also been told the same sort of advice to try by both parents and the paediatrician. It has made me at times sad, embarrassed and despairing (not so much now though as I've worked through it in my own mind)". Its also socially difficult as eating meals is a social activity.

To just say to someone who has a child like this, "so why are you feeding him this then" is both unhelpful and unfeeling to the parent who are themselves quietly despairing.

Coathanger you have my utmost sympathies here; I now have a professional trained in childrens' eating issues coming in to work with my son on a monthly basis.

Atilla - I really do sympathise with your situation and I agree totally with what you say. I understand why others say "just don't give him that food" as after all, I am in charge and it is up to me, but it really is easier said than done, and I have tried doing it on many occasions. BUT, it seems we may have turned a corner (fingers crossed) so maybe it was just a case of waiting til it was the right time. DS1 understands now that food is important instead of thinking eating is a chore. He now knows he won't grow or develop if he doesn't begin to eat beter things.

I have a son also 7 with autism and he is very faddy. To be honest I don't think your son's diet is too awful at least he has some protein and he is eating fruit and some veg, could be a lot worse. Beans are good food if you get the low salt/sugar variety. I give my dd loads of beans and wash the sauce of them. For the moment I'd just try the healthy version ie low salt chicken nuggets. Also check the meat content, its amazing how some can be all batter and not much meat.