Going out of my mind!! 7 Year old who eats nothing but rubbish!!

[Coathanger]

OK, I am at the end of my teather now. My 7 year old DS is stick thin (although average height) and falls ill at the drop of a hat, and all I can put it down to is his crappy diet. But I have tried all I know to get him to eat healthier.

His diet literally consists of:

Breakfast - Coco pops or toast
Lunch - bread roll with only butter (hates all sandwich fillings), crisps and a banana or apple
Dinner - rotation of beans on toast, chicken nuggets, burger, or fish fingers, all with smiley faces or chips.

The only veg he will eat is carrots, buy he will eat fruit if he's in the mood (apples, satsumas, grapes, bananas)

I make homemade burgers with carrot hidden, but other than than he eats nothing else I can smuggle veg into. He doesn't eat any "saucy" foods to make with hidden things and he will not try anything.

He does eat sweets occasionally but he doesn't fill himself up on crap during the day. He literally has 3 meals and if he comes home from school hungry he has fruit.

Has anyone got kids similar? How do you get on? HAs anyone got any tips? I've tried bribary, threatening, ignoring, a new tastes diary. I just want him to eat the same as the rest of the family.

By the way I have 2 other sons who will eat and try pretty much everything. So what did I do wrong this time?

sounds like you are making good progress there. getting ds on board might be the key to success then? my ds1 is now a tad obsessional about which foods are good/bad/high in calcium/high in salt etc and he's still only 3! he's still a well picky eater but sometimes I can persuade him to eat something if I go on about vitamins, protein, carbs etc. As your ds is older, youcould get a chart about healthy foods to put in the kitchen and encourage him to eat a food from each group for example and get him to choose what it will be etc?
much sympathies btw - I know exactly what it is like!

Thank you Morocco! I am on the look out for a food groups chart now He is very aware of the nutrients in food as it is a big subject at school - they have food weeks and food tasting sessions. He did an entire project on the tyoes of food we should all eat, so he is very genned up!! Perhaps it has all paid off.....

ch a good tip my childminder does, which I have started too. When you cook your spag bol, get any veggies, i use celery, mushrooms, carrots, peppers etc etc and put them in the blender with a can of chopped tomatoes. I whizz this p into a puree. Then I fry off the onions (finely chopped) and meat, add the tomato 'puree' and my kids have NO IDEA they are eating mushrooms!!

It looks simply like meat and tomato sauce. It also makes the meat go further!!

Another thing that my kids like is veggie mince - ADSA do a frozen soya mince - which is slightly 'blander' than meat.

Put it this way DD1 will eat a small amount of 'normal' bolognaise, she prefers my 'quorn' version. DD2 will not eat my bolognaise AT ALL until I started this. Now she will eat some (of course eats the lots at the childminders!!)

Coathanger, This is the food pyramid we used with my daughter -- it is the US one, but has been done up with kids. They have worksheets with goals etc to fill out as well.

\link{http://www.mypyramid.gov/kids/index.html\USDA Food Pyramid}

Thank you USAUKMum - you are a star

Let's make it a real link now shall we...
USDA Food Pyramid

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This all sounds so familiar! My DH's kids have the most awful diet at their mum's house, and have been known to go on hunger strike for 3 days at our house because i refuse to buy junk! The problem is now that it has just become huge stand off, and psychological battle. DH's daughter lives on sweets and biscuits(literally!) she had sweets for breakfast at her mum's. I know that if they were with us permanently we could turn it round, but whatever we do is completely undermined when they go back there. Last weekend his daughter had three strands of spaghetti for tea! The other weekend his DS refused three evening meals, two lunches and a packed lunch! The eat no fresh food whatsoever at their mums, have McD's at least twice a week. Every six weeks or so his DD spends a day vomiting and then is absolutely fine, but i'm sure its just her poor little body having to get rid of all the crap, its awful to see, but of course i am the wicked step mother because i won't let them have that food for every meal. DOn't get me wrong my kids enjoy junk every now and again, but if either of them eat McD's they are usually ill the next day! It just worries me that they eat so much salt, sugar and fat and are always off school sick and its all down to their awful diet, which their mum is just not prepared to change. What do you do??

My dd has been a very restricive eater since the age of 2 - she is now almost 7, and in the last year she has started to try more things and widen her diet.

I think these things helped us:

Insisting she try one new food every few weeks and persisting with the new food despite screaming tantrums (normally dd very well behaved and calm except over food issues). After a few tantrums this food will eventually become her favourite! Eg sausages, cheese on toast, steak

School lunches not packed - a variety of foods presented each day and we asked the dinner supervisors to encourage her to try things

Taking her to a chinese restaurant with buffet style food to choose from...wierdly she has no problem trying things within this environment!!

Your son's diet is far better than the diet dd survived on from age 2 to 6 and she is very rarely ill - a paediatrician would not be worried over his diet in my experience. I hope this gives you a bit of reassurance. Most kids eventually broaden their diet and in my opinion it really isn't your fault!

Its good to hear that I am not the only who whose child has issues at the dinner table. I hope you both continue to have good luck with you children and their eating.

Another breakthrough this evening - DS1 has just had spag bol. I don't think he was over keen, but he has come to realise that in a house of 5 people there has to be compramise and he won't get his favourite meals every night. Spag bol is a particular fave of DS2 and so we have it once a week. But never the less DS1 ate about 2 thirds of his smallish portion, so a major step forward

Oh, and for lunch he had a wholemeal roll and an organic yoghurt.

So, it seems there was panic over nothing in the end. Even if he tries nothing new for the rest of the week, he has done really well.

I have been reading this thread with interest. What do you do if the child is not 7 but 2? I have ds1 who eats amazingly, plates of broccoli, loves avocado, dips breadsticks into olive oil, is a real trooper and then I have ds2 who is literally the child from hell when it comes to food. He will eat and I am not joking:

6 dried cheerios for breakfast
perhaps a mouthful of yoghurt if you are lucky
half a banana
a brioche roll if really pushed

lunch, bit of a ham sandwich. cheese cheese more cheese. a yoghurt. might mash a bit of apple up.

dinner. forget it. doesn't like any form of pasta. doesn't like any form of vegetable. will eat mashed potato with broccolli (if it has cheese in) will have a go of fish pie. might eat the occasional oven baked chip.

I am worried sick about him. this is a house of healthy eaters. he is never offered crap food. dessert is yoghurt and fruit, jelly and ice cream if they've been good. it is not a chicken nugget or pizza household.

he is tiny. the health visitor says he's full of life and bright as a button what's the problem? He's 2 and 12-18 month clothes fall down he's so skinny. it makes me very sad.

will he grow out of it?

I guess some kids are just born with small appetites, bosscat, on the plus side it sounds like he eats a fair bit of fruit/quite a good diet really?
just a comment on the weight side of things. ds2 eats like a horse and is still in size 12-18 and 18-24 month trousers - anything more than that and it falls off him. he has no arse at all. some are just born skinny.

CH, have been reading your thread and well done . Just a thought on lunch, try putting a sandwich filling in a seperate container, say some grated a cheese or ham, nothing too fancy, and see what happens. At least its not 'contaminating' his bread and one day if you keep doing it, he might surprise you. He does sound like he's turning a corner.

morocco how old is he?

I am so glad to be sharing DS1's progress with you all I cannot express how pleased I am with my son. He really has matured over the last couple of days and has made me very proud. All and with the help of MN yet again. So, big {{{{{HUGS}}}}} to all of you and a huge thank you.

This is far from over, there is a long way to go yet, but I know now that it will be an easier road, not just because DS1 has turned a corner, but because all the tips you have shared will make it easier. Thank you xxxxx

Onwards and upwards......

oh sorry! forgot that bit! he's 2.5 now

Interesting thread - well done Coathanger! Good luck everyone who has these concerns - try things that are completely off the wall, you never know what they might take to.

I weaned dd on the best organic veg purees supplied from my friend's smallholding. By the age of 2 she was living on boiled eggs, bread, peanut butter (bet that'll get the allergyphobics going), houmous, baked beans, smilies, spagetti bolognese and yoghurt. She was and still is skinny, but has energy to spare - swimms, dances, loves long walks and activity centres.

Eventually she tried a piece of sausage at the farmers market and asked if she could have them at home. Now she will eat most kinds of meat but really does not like potatoes apart from smilies. She would be quite happy to only eat a few mouthfuls of each meal then go and play. I think she may recognise that her hunger pangs have gone, and think that is enough. Sound familiar, Paul McKenna fans?

My brother was also a picky eater as a child, and to a certain extent still is, eg will not eat any fat on meat, cuts the ends off sausages. However he loves trying new dishes, especially foreign food. DD ate cockles we had caught on the beach in France last year and also tried quail, at her own request. She likes a lot of fruit but not much veg and will eat any kind of bread.

The point I am trying to make is as long as children are getting a reasonable range of nutrients it is probably best not to get too hung up about whether their diet is pure, additive free, etc. The number of people who have said to me, "oh my child eats anything" - but if I offer them sweet potato or a home made pasta sauce you would think I had tried to poison them.

Apparently there are two "windows of opportunity" for getting children to try new tastes - one is around 18 months - 2 years, the next in the teens. Dont forget the power of peer pressure and advertising - how else do they find out about the Golden Arches?

I know how hard it is but really try not to make an issue out of meal times as children quickly learn that they are in control. I know this not because of my child but because I was (and unfortunatley because my mum never put her foot down still am) a fussy eater, though I have got a bit better as an adult.

I still don't eat any veg, but as a former nanny with 10 years experience and now a mum of a 2.5 yr old I have (so far) never had any trouble getting my children to eat.

I really like the shopping idea, but another good one to try is involve them in the cooking - a child will very rarely say that the food they have cooked tastes yucky! Start with something simple - a homemade pizza. Buy the base (unless you have the time and energy to make it!), pre make the sauce (hide all the veg you want by blending it - as you go on make it a bit more lumpy) and let them choose the toppings.

Also make the food look attractive and only give small portions. Praise them for eating whatever is on their plate - not just the veg otherwise you are drawing attention to them and make them sound like something horrible.

I so wish my mum didn't give in to me, I do try things every now and then but I think its too late for me!!

coathankger I am so pleased to hear about the spag bol - brilliant!

bosscat - I don't know if this helps but my dd had a much worse diet than you describe, far less varied, almost exclusively carbohydrates, no fruit or veg from age 2 to age 6. She was a bit small but has now caught up and is eating a little more widely and more healthily all of a sudden. She has always been really healthy despite a seemingly poor diet, so although it is easier said than done I would advise not worrying about it - this is what all the books on the subject seem to say too. It's not your fault and it will probably sort itself out over time. FWIW your childs diet sounded OK to me. Do you give him any low fat stuff instead of full fat?

I think its best to avoid vitamin pills too. Then their bodies are more likely to seek out the right foods...my dd ate a bit better when I plucked up the courage to drop the vitamins!

hi coat hanger
i totally sympathise my ds has asd and has a very limited diet and its very hard work and very stressful the last thing we want is our kids to eat crap but its better than them eating nothing at all it does make me a bit mad when people who dont understand this problem make assumptions that its the parents fault like we like being unable to eat a meal as a famiy or that we enjoy playing cafeterias every mealtime and having tantrums when you want to eat out and theres nothing on the menu said child will eat. Its a mothers instinct to nurture and feed her child but when that is made impossible it makes us feel guilty enough without stupid comments like if you give him what your having kids wont starve themselves actually mine does .Good luck .

suedenley I am not programmed to be able to starve my child into eating healthily, my mothering instinct won't let me even if I decide in my head to do it!!

i haven't read the whole thread, but myy 4yo dd is rather limited in her food preferences, although the only 'processed' foods we buy are pizza and fish fingers. her diet is ok but annoyingly repetitive. we praise her for licking or taking a nibble of new foods, even if she doesn't swallow it. she's gradually getting more adventurous. dd2, tho, is much easier, so it's not just about how you 'parent' their food choices!

could you offer rewards eg a sticker for tasting new things, and when his sticker chart is full, he could get a treat? or is he too big for that- or maybe you don't like reward systems?? am prepared for criticism of that idea, btw

That was the point i was making mousiemousie my son would starve rather than eat un recognised food having kids that wont/cant eat isnt easy and isnt the fault of the parent as it makes life so much hareder as you constantly have to think what everyone is having how the timings go together how to let one child have that when the others have to eat the same as you and yes it goes against all instincts to let our kids eat rubbish but like i said before id rather he ate that than nothing

I found you CH

Thanks for the advice.

I swear I was not cheating. I even have the calculator to sort out points. What a saddo. I am doing better. Leader checked out my tracker and said it was good. I have just got to drink more water. I will stick with it.

I can't beleive you are back on mn....
I have really missed you.

WELCOME BACK.........