Come forward EatBetterers and unite - it's the second happy healthy eating thread!

[fuzzpig]

Here's the previous thread where it all began!

EatBetterers are trying to improve the diets of ourselves and our families. No weighing, restricting, calorie counting etc - just finding joy in nourishing ourselves by making positive changes one step at a time. All welcome! :)

Sorry still, no experience of kids here so can't help on that one. How's your DH today?

Sleep I loved the first bowlful of my curry but was full by my second bowl so left a lot. I wasn't really hungry, just CBA to cook and had a big lunch out and chocolate too so I had a VERY upset stomach after eating it. Love what you said about choices and finding out stuff to do.

Much better day today, omelette with lovely cheese (small piece) for brekkie then cous cous with roast veg and feta for lunch followed by yoghurt with raspberries. Twas lovely. Tea was chicken stirfry with Nigellas sesame, soy, garlic, lime and sweet chilli sauce. Loads of veg and not many noodles. Also had a small glass of wine but feeling good as forced myself to gym after work.

I'm naturally a really early bird and like to be in the gym first thing so this goes against my nature but I got another sesh in and I'm glad I did.

Whoever said they don't have time in the morning I like my breakfast boiled eggs cold so I boil them the night before and then mush them up with black pepper and a bit of salad cream in the morning before work. Don't know if that helps.

We interrupt your evening to let you know that roasted chick peas are yummy if you get a bit of a weekend munch on and they are cheap and easy to make

Still how old is DD? Sounds like pre-teen/teenager? The hard truth is you can't stop her eating what she wants once they reach a certain level of independence. I think you just have to keep reiterating what foods nourish us well, making us strong and energetic and sharp mentally, acknowledge the things that may taste good but contribute nothing healthwise. Model a healthy relationship with food, exercise and body. Try not to show any judgement or criticism of the choices she makes, make it clear that she is in charge of them though. Don't let it become a battleground. I think it's probably better for her to go crazy for a few years whilst at her most indestructible physically (healthy teenage metabolism is fearsome!) than for it to become an issue between you that could persist into later life. If you avoid that, then it's more likely she will pass through a phase of not treating her health as you might like (as many of us do during teens/twenties) and then become more health conscious independently. If it's no big thing in the first place I think it's more likely she will get there faster by herself. On balance, I think it's better to be worried about too many sweets than dc's restricting their food intake, which is what so many parents of teenage girls face.

hi sleep, thanks for this. dd is soon to be 10. She is overweight and has been bullied for it some time ago and is carrying that around still. So yes my concerns are not to make it a battle ground and not to get to a situation where she feels the need to restrict her food intake. She cannot really afford to go mad on sweets and I know I can't control what she eats - as much as I'd love to! But thank you - it is really helpful to be reminded that its about modelling. It is just so easy to slip into trying to control the situation - it's like a tightrope! Interestingly, I asked her your question. She said she couldn't give up watermelon (could I find any in morrisons today, grrr)

Thanks for all the birthday messages. Much appreciated

Stilllearnin sounds to me that your dd is trying hard to conform to what her friends are doing which would fit in with the low self-esteem from the bullying. I'd keep it low key too and keep focusing on healthy food at home. Perhaps even get her involved with cooking. I'd occasionally throw in some random facts about the health benefits of eating better or about something healthy rage you know someone she admires eats. Combine this with lots of meaningful and heartfelt praise about her strengths to develop her self-esteem too. Could you encourage her to save her money towards something significant? A grown up day out with you and a friend or spending money for a holiday/ trip? I'm sure it is just a novelty. I shudder to think of the sweets I could put away at ten!

Loving all the recipe talk. I've been using this week to educate DH a bit on how we should be eating. He's keen to get involved so I'm looking forward to some delicious real meals over the next few weeks.

My DC are younger Still so tricky for me to advise but my best friend at a similar age - not overweight but tall so much heavier than her peers and conscious of it - had a mother who tried to control her eating. She banned sweets etc. The outcome was my friend used to eat my sweets and come to our house where we had chocolate biscuits and I would eat one and she would eat the rest of the packet - her mother's control didn't work. Then her mother started to hold competitions between her and her sister as to who could lose the most weight and give them double pocket money. Loopy.

As an aside, said friend now is clearly imposing food issues on her kids - don't see her now but we are FB friends and she is always ranting about other kids being allowed junk. She is very thin these days. I suppose her mother would be happy! But she posts things like 'my god kids given a sweet in pass the parcel at a party, isn't it terrible...' which makes me think she's still got issues.

Being a parent really is a minefield isn't it...

That's really sad cant :(

Minefield is right. I'm really just trying to look at food as a family in a positive way, so talking about the benefits of different foods and what vitamins do in our bodies etc.

That's not to say I'm not honest about junk food, they know for example that macdonalds isn't good for you so we don't have them often.

DD has actually just started to get pocket money - she's just turned 7. We have basically told her she can spend it on whatever she wants (within reason - she did suggest a mobile phone and a cat!!!). I'm not fussed if she blows it all on sweets but I'm also reminding her that if she spends it all on sweets then she won't be able to save up for toys (and there's a LOT of toys she really wants). Hoping she finds a good balance on her own as I don't want to control it IYSWIM. £2 can get an awful lot of sweets though!

Fuzzpig. My two have had £2 a week pocket money for a year (they are nearly 8 and 4). They have never spent it on sweets as they save it and the occasional money from GPs for a big blow out on a toy 3 or 4 times a year. It really limits the asking for magazines and those silly coin operated ball machines with toys inside as I say yes if they want to spend their own money. They aren't so keen on a magazine when they know it is worth more than a week's money. They have bought a LOT of tat this week though!

Tip - I don't usually go to Tesco but did today and they had coconut flour, freekeh, hemp, flax etc on offer.

And chocolate....

I'd love to join you all. I've been eating clean, sugar free and gluten free since the end of March and I've had fantastic results. Weight loss wasn't my main aim but I'm down almost 3 stone. The biggest thing is that I feel fantastic! Over the past couple of days I've read through both threads and you've really inspired me to try some new recipes. This seems like a great place for support.

Welcome Rainbow. (Your name really made me laugh). Congratulations on the eating and the incidental weight loss. That's great.
I find this thread really helpful and non-judgemental.

Thank you everyone for your advice re dd. it's so helpful to get back up. I know not to make it a big deal and emphasise the positives but it helps so much to be reminded because its easy to let my concern turn into something unhelpful. Also I have guilt for letting her get overweight - we tried not to but being honest we used food to show love, attention, and to distract while we dealt with other stuff at a very critical age (feel a bit sick putting that in black and white but need to focus on the future now).

Welcome Rainbow. Was that March this year? That sounds like a lot! Its really great when you hit your stride with eating better isn't it. The all round benefits are fantastic. I imagine I need to lose that amount of weight but at the moment I am really benefitting from not thinking about weight loss and the fact that despite this I am not overeating or having any I'm-starting-my-diet-tomorrow binges. That is quite a revaluation for me.

It may be a revaluation but I meant a revelation!

Yeah March this year. To be fair I've got a lot to lose. Probably another 5/6 to go but I'm not worrying about it.

I think I've found it very easy as I've cut out entire aisles of the supermarket. I stick to meat, fresh produce, dairy, tinned pulses and tomatoes and nuts. Occasionally I've had the odd square of 85% dark chocolate. If I really fancy crisps I'll have plain ones with only oil and salt.

If I really really really want something I'll try a bite. Yesterday for example I had raging pmt and "needed" bread. I took a corner off dd's sandwich and had some. Spat it straight back out as it was disgusting!! After not having any bread for 4 months I've completely lost the taste for it. I was actually disappointed!

Telling myself and other people that I don't eat something rather than using the word can't has had a positive effect too. I feel in control rather than that I'm depriving myself of something. still dreams of croissants though

Welcome rainbow! Wowee, absolutely amazing weight loss so far and a really inspirational post!

I think it's great you are still letting yourself try something if you want it. Much better than banning it IMO. Funnily enough I bought a chocolate croissant today as I was killing time before dr appt (the coop do the really nice ones so I get them if I'm passing, which isn't often)... only managed half and chucked the rest as it just didn't taste how I thought.

Welcome Rainbow, sounds like you have found your natural home . Well done on the great changes you have made, lovely that you are enjoying the results!

Neeko you are right to look forward wrt your daughter, rather than back. Guilt is a useless and damaging emotion, you were only doing what can be instinctive with food and children, so don't feel bad, you always acted out of love. Think now about all the things that she and you can do do maximise her self esteem, nurture her talents and passions, if they are active/sporty then that is great but they don't have to be, if she is good at something then it could be that that gives the real key to her having confidence in herself and it may seem tough for a while (as puberty so often is), but that, and you not making an issue out of food/weight, loving her throughout, is what will hold her in good stead longer term .

proseccoco I'm not a particularly good example today! Life is a bit chaotic at the moment, I slept late this morning so didn't have time for breakfast (highly unusual) and was out for lunch at a great French restaurant before watching the Tour de F. I had egg mayonnaise to start then chicken in a shallot sauce with creamed spinach (and a couple of pieces of the most heavenly French bread and butter). Not very hungry tonight, so instead of cooking DH and I had a carpet picnic...pack of antipasto, sweetfire beetroot, courgette parmesan and pine nut salad, roast asparagus and chicory with blue cheese and walnuts. Yummy. On a typical night though we rarely have carbs at all, if I want to make a meal of protein/veg more substantial then small portions of beans, chickpeas, lentils or sweet potato do fine . It doesn't take long for it to become normal.

Durr , mixing up names again, of course I meant Still re DD

Sleep thank you. Loving throughout is key and I think she knows I do my best too. Her passion is dance and circus so it's healthy stuff and she belongs to a couple of great clubs doing this- by great I mean run by fantastic people without any stars, exams, bitchiness etc. she has a static trapeze, yoga swing, silks and trampoline in the garden (rigged on swing frames so only 2m off the ground) and looking to add an aerial hoop!! But as someone mentioned up thread it's her self esteem. Her brother gets a lot of attention and is quite hard work (both good and bad ways). He is back at school tho which is making him a bit more ordinary! Anyway seems to me that nurturing self esteem and loving throughout could usefully be directed at ourselves- that would go a long way!!!

Going to have a go at a cauliflower pizza crust today - looks tricky!

Stilllearnin your garden sounds like fun! I think you are doing it exactly right with your dd and I'm sure it will all be fine given time.

Sleep. That carpet picnic sounds delicious.

I've ordered a juice maker. Can't wait until it arrives. Which veggies are good to add for an absolute beginner?

Exactly Still, we definitely need to model good self esteem and self care along with a positive attitude towards food ourselves. And on the love part, all too often when I speak to people with disordered eating they talk about feeling criticised and 'not good enough ' for parents who no doubt were acting out of the best intentions when trying to prevent their children being/becoming overweight but inadvertently helped (along with other kids and our general culture ), their children think only slim=loveable and good. It's so hard being a parent when it comes to stuff like this, I often think the ones who get it 'right' also have a huge amount of luck on their side

Update us on the pizza crust!

hmmm. well the lovely ella took the recipe down between the me checking it last night and today. so i tried to do it from memory! it turned out like an omelette. which of course makes you think 'oh, i'll just make an omelette next time!' But it was interesting re the cauliflower - you just whizz it up raw. I was thinking you could add that to all sorts of things and its quite a delicate taste when its not all over cooked and stinky!

Had an odd couple of days, chocolate, biscuits and cake

Back on track today and just back from a walk and had a delicious tea of cod in tomato sauce with brown rice-easy too!

Didn't feel great today I'm sure it's because of the sugar, really low energy and bleh.

Oh and yesterday I made a ham and leek savoury crumble using wholemeal floor which was really good.