What are the worst crimes you have seen committed at a buffet? Or any communal food situation.

[Sparklingbrook]

Following on from people who stand too close when queuing.

Also any top tips for buffet etiquette on an AI holiday?

Crimes for me-

Picking up food and putting it back
Using incorrect spoons and cross contaminating different foodstuffs

30" pizza? Wow.

It was an enormous thing Aga, took two blokes to carry the stone (and come to think of it, the stone was probably hot at well)

LtEve. You have reminded me of once when the uni I worked at put on a sandwich spread for my recruited trainee nurses. They event organiser was horrified when the nurses went to the tables of still covered trays of m&s sandwiches, and started putting the trays in their bags while saying 'oh that'll be the kids dinner tonight'. When we told them they couldn't take the whole trays they actually got quite aggressive, saying that we had put them out for people to help themselves, and they had helped themselves. They refused to give them back. also they were supposed to be there for a grand speech and 'event' with photographers. But once they'd cleared the food they fucked off and left the hall empty, they stripped everything, even boxes of pens and balloons and decorations. It was like a swarm of locusts.

LtEve I would have loved to have seen that.

I am laughing at the thought of people running off with food with staff in hot pursuit. It's like an 80s screwball comedy with judge reinhold in.

MrsKoala - having seen nurses around a tin of Roses, I can quite believe that.

We were just open mouthed the whole time I think. Neither of us had been on a 'posh' holiday before (was about 15 years ago) so had spent the first few days feeling pretty uncomfortable before settling in to it all, then had our minds blown by their antics.

The woman with the ham was very large, but by god she could run

Not so much a buffet 'crime' but something that amused me.

We had a manager in our office who was notoriously greedy when it came to communal office buffets (Christmas and such like) but rarely contributed anything towards them.

One year we had the idea of passing a staff list around so that everyone could write down what they would bring to avoid 25 packs of M & S sausage rolls. Before the list got to him someone wrote beside his name 'An empty stomach and a doggy bag'

One boss I had was a low carber and if you got to the sandwich platter after her, all you'd find were empty triangles of bread scattered about with the fillings removed. She would pick out the middle with her fingers, licking them frequently, then say, 'I'm low carbing' as if that was okay then and 'I've left you the bread' umm cheers.

Yesterday. We had an all-day offsite meeting, so catering was laid on. Stingy, curly sandwiches, as per normal. They'd also tried to go upmarket with cubes of deep fried and breaded cheese. They're never very nice, but were the only warm vegetarian thing available, and the room was cold.

One of the delegates picked up a deep fried cheese cube, bit into it, realised it was horrible and put it down. Guy in question is known for being quite.... phlegmy.... so the cube was rather moist when he put it back down. If he'd put it back on his plate, that would have been one thing, but he put it down on top of the other cheese cubes.

I've just remembered another one. This one was at a family wedding, with the evening buffet lovingly provided by my mum.

Mum had gone all out, been baking for days and made a number of Quiches as part of the spread. She'd also made 3 or 4 trifles and gateaux (this was the 70s mind) and a HUGE bowl of stiff whipped cream to go with them.

One of the guests, a German uncle of the Groom, had been eating almost constantly, and I watched in horror when he went up and helped himself to a large slice of quiche lorraine, then dolloped a huge spoon of whipped cream on top. I went over and tried to tell him that the quiche wasn't pudding (I was about 9 I think) but I didn't speak any German and he spoke very little English, so failed dismally.

I told the Groom in the end - apparently "Uncle Otto thought the flan was gorgeous" so he didn't bother to set him straight

At a family funeral, a relative pulled out 6 empty containers and filled them up with food to take away.

OMG these people are AWFUL! What prompts them to act like this? Can't quite get my head round it at all...

Can't believe the low-carbing boss! I don't really eat bread, but if there was really nothing else in the buffet I could eat, I'd take what would've been my fair share of the sandwiches anyway, and leave the bread. Not go ferreting out the middles from other people's lunches! If you have anything unusual about your diet, you should really just accept you might not get a suitable meal when being catered for by others, and make alternative arrangements. Not take disproportionate amounts of the things you can eat, unless there's obviously plenty.

Actually, the worst buffet crime is cheese mayo sandwiches. Look like egg mayo, taste like smegma.

The next morning I watched in horror when one lady picked up a full tray of bacon and tipped the lot into her giant handbag, then did the same to a tray of pancakes.

Moments like that are why camera phones were invented.

I saw a bloke at a Chinese buffet pile his plate with noodles and then plonk a piece of black forest gateaux on top.

Might've been delicious though, maybe I'm missing out??

This thread is hilarious and revolting.

The worst buffet crime in my office is people who order a buffet for a meeting and then fail to put the leftovers in the canteen for everyone else :o

Cheese Mayo sarnies Kate?

Cheese mayo sandwiches. An abomination surpassed only by those odd jelly salads apparently made by Americans in the 50s using fruit jelly, meat and mayonnaise.

You mean cheese savoury. I used to hate it but now love it. It needs onions abd some salad to give it crunch though

Oooh, you've just reminded me of something. I used to work with quite an international team, and we used to travel a fair bit. When the Swedes came to the UK, one in particular would always moan about the std office-catered sandwich lunch, as she NEEDED hot food at lunch, and one one occasion had a proper hissy fit.

So next time we were at hers, we had expected a nice hot lunch. to be fair, previously their lunches had indeed been top-notch. She said she had a lovely, Swedish typical 'special' meal, which she knew that all of us, but in particular the Brits would love.

LAdies and Gentlemen, to our fascinated horror delight, she unveiled the Swedish Sandwich Cake. Literally a load of sandwiches, plastered together in a cake shape, with some stuff on top. She was so proud.

The pic is not 'ours', I nicked it from Pinterest. ButI hope it conveys the right level of moist fishiness that we encountered.

Ew. It looks like a horror story that tiramisus would tell.

It did have that Tiramisu-esque sloppage about it, you are right!

What was the filling? It looks fucking foul. It must have been a soggy mess. Bleeurch.