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Original poster

What are the worst crimes you have seen committed at a buffet? Or any communal food situation.

230 replies

Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2014 15:00

Following on from people who stand too close when queuing.

Also any top tips for buffet etiquette on an AI holiday?

Crimes for me-

Picking up food and putting it back
Using incorrect spoons and cross contaminating different foodstuffs

OP posts:
Scaredycat3000 · 26/02/2014 16:52

Am I allowed to include a home party buffet? MIL's buffets are made up of every buffet food type that has been fashionable since her marriage 45 years ago, nothing ever gets dropped. The dining table was probably filled in 1983, now the buffet covers all available plate holding surfaces in several rooms. Guests are getting on a bit now, they need to eat at a table, understandably. One guest filled his plate placed it on top of the buffet food, pulled his chair up, leaned over the table and chewed his ribs over the densely packed table. I had been really fancying the ribs up until that point.

Anonymai · 26/02/2014 17:03

People who let their children block the whole buffet by running backwards and forwards along it and when you say "excuse me" and squeeze past said child, the loud parenting "oh wasn't that lady rude pushing past you!" begins. Saying excuse me and squeezing past is not pushing. Take the hint woman!

JingleMyBells · 26/02/2014 17:10

Saw a kid on holiday picking up chips with his bare hands Shock . After that, if I wanted chips I would only take them immediately after they had been put out by the staff and if I was sure I was the first person.

weddingbuffet · 26/02/2014 17:17

Have namechanged, obviously.

Do crimes committed by the buffet organisers count? I went to a wedding where the food was a Chinese buffet (in a tent, in winter). There were about ten tables who went up in order. So the bridal party got what must have been hot Chinese food. We were at the last table and got there to find the little that was left was stone cold. I know some people on MN love cold Chinese but it was rank!

Also criminal are those where it's hot and food with fish or cream in it sits sweltering in the sunlight for hours.

RunRunRuby · 26/02/2014 17:44

Argh lost my post.

Had my own mortifying buffet experience at a wedding. My table was up first for desserts. I had profiteroles and the caterer passed me a jug of chocolate sauce. A skin had obviously formed so when I poured it, the whole skin fell out with all the sauce that had stuck to the bottom of it. The lady glared at me. I was so embarrassed, but I could hardly put the sauce back in the jug. I spooned some into my ex's bowl but even so, I had loads. I was quite overweight at the time so I think everyone just thought I was being a greedy pig Sad

RunRunRuby · 26/02/2014 17:47

My parents had a buffet once for a big party, with things like pearl barley salad, couscous, bean salads (we are vegetarian). A certain guest went along telling his children not to eat the salads because they were foreign, just have some (French!) bread HmmGrin allegedly he won't even eat pasta, or peppers, as they are too foreign!

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2014 17:55

I remember an AIBU some years ago about someone who was going on a half-board holiday and wanted to know if it was ok to make up sandwiches from the breakfast buffet.

lainie IIRC there was a bunfight people had different opinions. Wink

OP posts:
ChaosTrulyReigns · 26/02/2014 17:55

Well I was expecting a different sort of thread. I was thinking about home buffers and crimes committed therein.

Si I'll just carry on.

This will probably out me a a complete snob, but take the forties of the damn packaging, ffs! Angry

And no yo pyrex mixing bowl as severing dishes. OkAY?

CakeyCakeyCakey · 26/02/2014 17:55

At sil's birthday tea ds went to the buffet table and took an egg mayo sandwich, watched by mil, licked all the egg mayo off and gave it to mil who ate it! I was in the loo, luckily there was only a few of us there and he's only 2 but I still don't understand why she ate it!

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2014 17:56

Ooh CTR i like the sound of a 'severing dish'. I would put the head of the person double dipping in the chocolate fountain in it. Grin

OP posts:
ChaosTrulyReigns · 26/02/2014 17:59

Aww, I haven't being called CTR fir ages.

ShatnersBassoon · 26/02/2014 18:00

Oh Lord, I forgot the worst double-dipping crime that has ever been committed at a party buffet.

Labradors can't eat a whole bread stick in one mouthful, and they need the second half moistening with dip too. I learnt that from my friend on New Year's Eve. She wasn't even pissed.

Perfectlypurple · 26/02/2014 18:01

I can't stand cold food when it's meant to be hot. I hate that people open the lid of hot food and don't close it after them. So selfish.

Absolutelylost · 26/02/2014 18:02

My ex h was at a work meeting years ago, where an 'enhanced finger buffet' was provided. He has quite a sweet tooth and was eyeing up the chocolate cake right in the middle of the large table. When he judged a decent time had elapsed from the sandwiches, he reached across to get a slice of cake. It was almost out of his reach so he managed to get most peoples attention by trying to get the serving plate steady.

As his hand hovered above, he suddenly realised it was more of a trifle than a cake and would probably require some sort of serving spoon. At that split second he made the wrong move. Instead of excusing himself and backing away, he pressed ahead, thinking he could probably get away with it. He couldn't. He dropped a fistful of gooey chocolate dessert into his plate and spent the next ten minutes with his hand coated in chocolate trifle up to the knuckles. Not sure anyone else had any.

Still makes me laugh, must have been 20 years ago.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2014 18:04

Shatners i am speechless. Double doggy dipping. Sad

OP posts:
tb · 26/02/2014 18:06

The worst thing I ever saw at a buffet was on taste grounds - not double-dipping etc.

I was staying at a West End hotel in London with work, and it was a hotel used by package tours. It was the Edwardian in Tottenham Court Road, and it was used by a package tour from Japan.

The breakfast buffet consisted of hot cooked breakfast and a continental breakfast with pastries, cold fish, meat and cheese.

I saw one guest with his breakfast plate piled up with bacon and eggs etc. So far, so good. He was also carrying a side plate with 2 Danish pastries sandwiching a couple of fried eggs..

I still haven't got that out of my mind, some 20 years alter Grin but have never felt tempted to try it myself.

tb · 26/02/2014 18:06

later

ShatnersBassoon · 26/02/2014 18:09

Oh yes, the dog bloody loved it. I don't eat or drink at her house any more. She seems so clean Confused

I quietly whispered to DH to not have any more dip. I didn't manage to warn the hostess's brother in time because I don't like him and quite fancied seeing him eat Labrador drool.

CalamitouslyWrong · 26/02/2014 18:16

A previous workplace was notorious for crap and stingy catering. They'd provide a buffet lunch for some team meetings where there'd be 10 small triangles of sandwiches, 2 teeny tiny mini quiches (different flavours) and 3 tiny chicken skewers between 5 of you. For pudding it would be a fruit bowl with 5 whole pieces of different fruit. There would have to be negotiations over the meagre portions of food and someone would end up with the weird fruit no one wanted.

At larger events with external people you could tell who worked there simply because they'd ensure they'd be first up at the buffet. The people at the end of the queue would be left with no food at all (or a best some coleslaw and a lettuce leaf) because the catering was stingy beyond anyone's comprehension. You'd see people helping themselves to two quiches and know that was half of someone else's lunch.

WowserBowser · 26/02/2014 18:25

I was on holiday with my parents when i was about 15. They always used to tell me how fussy i was - i hated sharing drinks etc.

A man before them in the buffet was licking all the big serving spoons after putting the food on his plate.

I didn't bother to mention it as i thought they would just complain about my fussiness and tell me it was no big deal. They were horrified when i told them after their meal. Apparently stranger spit is different Grin

Catsmamma · 26/02/2014 18:31

I always turn up the conveyor belt toasters....if I wanted warm bread I'd layer a slice over my coffee to gently steam it. I want toast godammit and it WILL be brown.

We stayed at a hotel in Earls Court once where they had a couple of normal pop up toasters, where there was very nearly punch up s someone tried to steal someone else's slices.

I loved that place, they had CAVA by the OJ!! Whaaa-hhaayyyyy!!

and that reminds me....my gripe is about those who get their miniscule glass and fill it with juice, then stand and drink it at the dispenser, refilling it two or three times.

BOFtastic · 26/02/2014 18:31
...also applies to till queues.
MrsKoala · 26/02/2014 18:32

I did a buffet for exHs family party one year and there was a group of veggies and a group of meaties. The veggies are notoriously greedy and lacking in manners. I out the food out. A meat moussaka and a veg lasagne and various salads, dips breads etc. i popped out after putting the food down to get some napkins, only to return to the room to find the veggies all sitting at the buffet table so no one else could get there (other tables were available), having shoved all the food to one side, and the moussaka was just a tray of mince. Their plates were piled high with ALL the topping. I was Shock and stammered 'the lasagne is veggie...' They replied they knew but fancied the top off the mousaka instead. They said they'd have the lasagne later. So it looked as tho I had served a tray of mince and salad. I was furious. I wouldn't have cared if they took a portion of mousaka and then left the meat. But to scrape the entire top off Shock

Another one was on my birthday I provided a massive square iced chocolate cake at work. Lo and behold, the Jehovah's Witness in the office who never contributed to birthday celebration or even signed your card but was always the first to eat the birthday cake, rushed into the kitchen and returned to her desk with a plate piled high with mushed up icing and icing all under her really long finger nails. I went to check the cake and she had scraped the icing off with her finger nails - you could see the track marks along the cake. When I returned incredulously to her she, blankly said, I prefer the icing. Unsurprisingly no one ate any of the cake and I'd spent about £50 on it. Angry

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2014 18:43

MrsK I salute you for two awful experiences. Wine Icing under fingernails.

OP posts:
HellomynameisIcklePickle · 26/02/2014 18:49

outs self

My father in law is a lovely man, one of those in life who is a brilliant technical genius but quite deficient in certain life skills - and he is notoriously fussy about food.

Anyway, he goes off to a party one night and the generous host comes over over and explains that she has arranged some chicken especially for him so that he would have something to eat at the buffet.

As he digs in FiL is thinking "This is rather a lot of food", and sweating slightly he carries on eating thinking it would be rude not to finish...

And yes, the host comes over slightly wide eyed spotting the almost empty plate wondering what she is going to feed the other guests for their tea Grin

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