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Original poster

What are the worst crimes you have seen committed at a buffet? Or any communal food situation.

230 replies

Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2014 15:00

Following on from people who stand too close when queuing.

Also any top tips for buffet etiquette on an AI holiday?

Crimes for me-

Picking up food and putting it back
Using incorrect spoons and cross contaminating different foodstuffs

OP posts:
foslady · 26/02/2014 23:18

Invited to an engagement party. At 9pm the DJ said that the buffet was open. 5 mins later we walked through to the buffet table room to see the last of the tea towels being taken on the plates of sandwiches which had a lovely curl to them all... One bloke takes a plate, grabs a couple of sandwiches to be screeched at by the soon to be grooms mother to 'Put them back, we haven't photographed the food yet', with the soon to be bride in the corner looking totally bewildered at the curled up food as they'd only made them at 4pm....

Also the ex bosses wedding where I offered to help with the evening catering. Presented with 180 vol-au-vant cases and 3 bowls of chicken/prawn/egg mush (with the prawn mush being rapidly replaces as all the salt had leached into the sauce). I said I'd bring them that might with me to be told no, their 'professional' caterer friend wanted me to bring them in the afternoon prior to the 2pm wedding.....to see them put in a warm kitchen and left. Made sure all my mates avoided said vol-au-vonts and why....

StealthPolarBear · 26/02/2014 23:21

Love this thread

lessemin · 26/02/2014 23:22

This woman was not using a container she was eating out of all the main salad trays with the same fork.

She wasn't a double dipper she was a multiple dipper.

SouthernComforts · 26/02/2014 23:23

Bogeyface - I know! Tbh I just needed liquid, I had raging hangover thirst and made a judgement call. It was preferable to the stewed coffee and OJ you could stand a spoon in.

Bogeyface · 27/02/2014 00:07

I can see it now Southern

"So,.....raging hangover... bad coffee...no. Rank OJ.... eurgh (swallows down sick). Milk ..hmm.. possible. Queue of kids and bossy looking mother....I probably made a total arse of myself last night so... in for a penny [glug glug]" :o

Thinking about it, I can see your point!

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 27/02/2014 06:55

Very early morning snort at

'Put them back, we haven't photographed the food yet', Grin

OP posts:
SouthernComforts · 27/02/2014 08:43

Grin not my finest hour.

Prettykitty111 · 27/02/2014 09:26

Marmalade sorry I'm still only on page 1. I know there 6 pages I know I have to RTT or risk MN wrath but I just had to say your kid is a fucking genius! He's going to rule the world one day with a mind like that! What a legend

NorbertDentressangle · 27/02/2014 09:33

lessemin 's supermarket salad bar story has reminded me of one - in Oxford in the late 80s there was a Littlewoods in the shopping centre. Just inside the entrance to Littlewoods was a takeaway salad bar in the food dept.

Occasionally I would buy a salad for my lunch when working at my Saturday job just along the road. That was until one day when I saw one of the very drunk street drinkers amble in and start helping himself to salad from the display, shoveling it in.

Everyone stood there looking horrified until security stepped in and removed him. Apparently if was a fairly regular occurrence. Never had a salad from there again and I still think of that every time I see a salad bar even in our naice Waitrose in our naice town

Roussette · 27/02/2014 09:56

Worst experience for me was going to I think it was called "sizzler" buffet restaurant in USA with the DC's. OMG I could not get over the volume of food and drink that some of the really obese americans ate.

There was a 'starters' aisle, main course and then puddings/icecream aisle. My DC's had their mouths hanging open at the groaning tables of food that some people had helped themselves too. As a treat my DC's had a small coke each but you could get 'mega mega huge' drinks and I remember one of the kids saying in a loud voice "mummy why is that lady drinking fizzy out of a bucket?"

Jacket potatoes were piled two foot high on a plate, steaks were like half a cow, no veg or salad of course and as for the shrimps, it looked like a tsunami had washed up half the ocean! It put me off buffet food for good, in fact I hate it.

Suicidal5833 · 27/02/2014 10:26

We watched as a guy asked for three take home boxes he then preceded to go up and fill all three take away boxes with pizza and even when the pizza had run out he continued to stand there and wait for more to be brought out so he could continue filling he rammed them full and walked off.

NorbertDentressangle · 27/02/2014 10:35

I think the only 'all you can eat' buffet restaurant I've been to is a Chinese one - we've been a few times over the years as the DC like it but TBH I'm not keen at all, neither is DP.

What amazes us each time is the people who pile their plates high and fill up on the cheap carbs and nasty convenience foods (chips, garlic bread, more chips, onion rings in batter, more chips etc) and virtually ignore the more expensive, 'better quality' (although I use that phrase loosely), authentic foods like the meat, seafood and fish dishes in various sauces.

Roussette · 27/02/2014 10:44

I just think buffet brings out the worst in people. It's like they haven't eaten properly for months. Such greed makes me fill a bit bleurghhhhh...

(and believe me I LOVE my food)

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 27/02/2014 11:11

I feel really self conscious at serve yourself food places. i probably take too little as I don't want to look like a gannet. Grin

I also hate it when at peoples houses they serve the veg in bowls. I never know how much to take as I don't want to deprive anyone.

OP posts:
twoteens · 27/02/2014 11:18

Some all you can eat buffets now charge people double if they have left a lot of unwanted food on their plate after loading it high, they have a warning up in the restaurant.

My ex mil used to have a pub and would do plates of sandwiches and buffet bits, I knew were she prepared them, just say she had lots of cats that had access to the work tops. I never ever had a sandwich

Crazdsky · 27/02/2014 11:18

When we went to DLP a few years back I could not bring myself to be one of the buffet lunch makers ( it was comical howany people done it and the lenghts they went to to try and hide it) instead we found a lovely garage a few minutes walk away from our hotel. We would collect supplies and make our own lovely picnic and as we went in mid January when it was Baltic everything stayed cool.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 27/02/2014 11:23

I am a bit bewildered by the DLP sandwich makers, I have to be honest. If I am on holiday I am not going to be eating 4 hour old food or making sandwiches during breakfast. I'm just not.

OP posts:
CalamitouslyWrong · 27/02/2014 12:13

If it had been up to me we wouldn't have been DLP sandwich makers either. I will never make a packed lunch from a buffet ever, ever again. Ever.

Even without the storage issues (and having to cart your picnic around with you all morning), a squashed ham roll or three is not my idea of a lunch to look forward to.

PiratePanda · 27/02/2014 12:26

It was a MASSIVE epoisse -- about twice the size of a camembert. We did, in fact, have more than one :)

CorusKate · 27/02/2014 12:30

Shock That's a lot of Epoisses. I'm revising my opinion to my second suggestion - your BIL has a truly impressive cheese capacity. Grin

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 27/02/2014 12:31

Calamitously I think you need some sort of sandwich counselling. Sad

OP posts:
CalamitouslyWrong · 27/02/2014 12:36

They could put up sad face photos of me looking a bit pesky holding a squashed and slightly sweaty breakfast buffet sandwich alongside the DLP breakfast buffets as a deterrent to others.

I'll happily do talks on the longstanding effects of post breakfast buffet sandwich trauma for a fee too. Grin

CalamitouslyWrong · 27/02/2014 12:37

A bit peaky, not pesky.

Littlemisstax · 27/02/2014 12:40

We had a sandwich buffet at work - one colleague with a bit of a reputation went and got them out the fridge and started helping himself. He returned to his desk with 6 quarters of sandwich and announced that we should all go soon as there was only one small platter and they were all veggie.

I went and removed the other three platters from the other fridge and took a couple. A colleague questioned why he had taken so much if he thought the one platter was for all 30 people. Response "I'm hungry". He then went back for meat sarnies.....

FastWindow · 27/02/2014 12:46

My most favourite moment ever was at an all you can eat Chinese. A woman took every single chicken ball and piled them on her plate until it resembled the Ferrero Rocher mountain. 'Ambassador, you are reely schpoilink us'
I may have gaped at her.