Evening puddle humpers.
Ds has had a lovely birthday and absolutely loves his new pool table and we had a party tea when he got home. He was a bit of a live wire a bedtime though, due to too much cake.
I went for his annual review meeting today at nursery and got there just as they were doing his birthday cake, I was a tad emotional. He is doing really well and has had a glowing report from nursery
On the other hand, I have had an awful day, I went for my occupational health appointment today. Please may I have a rant and vent my frustration and rage here, rather at my boss when she rings tomorrow?
Lets play pretend AIBU (without bunfights, bitching, PA etc)
AIBU to think my boss is a bitch?
Backstory - signed off sick in July with severe bout of depression. Started Prozac and had severe side effects for 4 weeks, then started to feel better. Went to occupational health for a plan for phased return to work. My doctor and occupational health agreed that it would be best for me to do an office based job for 2 weeks before returning to the clinical area and said that my boss would receive a copy of the plan. The next day I phoned my boss to tell her of the proposed plan. She refused to accept the office based work would be of any benefit to my recovery and insisted that I should return to work within the team. The rationale for doing office based work was to get back in the routine of setting the alarm, getting up, getting ds to nursery and being out of the house for 9 hours per day, getting home and keeping on top of the housework etc without needing to talk to any patients, do any clinical work etc.
I became upset during the conversation because she would not accept THE PLAN. I asked her to phone occ health to clarify the plan. She called me back a week later ( following much upset, uncertainty and anxiety not knowing what was going to happen). She told me she had spoken to occ health and the proposed plan was I returned straight back into the team working with someone, totally disregarding the first part of the plan. I agreed to HER plan, thinking it was endorsed by occ health.
I went back, was doing well. I was knackered from the physical effort of being out of the house and talking all day. I was doing clinical stuff, taking bloods, doing antenatal checks etc. I wore my mask of "I'm ok, you will never know I mental health issue". I was enjoying it and pleased with my progress.
On the last day of my second week I was exhausted and a bit tearful, my boss rang me and asked to see me before I went home.
I went and she told me that she actually thought that I wasn't well enough to be back at work and if I am that tired and it is so much effort then I came back too soon. Even though I told her why I. Wanted todo the first part o the plan, she still didn't agree with me. I was basically told to go home and go back to my GP an adjust my medication. (Cheeky bitch)
I did as I was told and went back to the doctor, who told me to double my Prozac. I did this and felt terrible for almost a month due to side effects. He signed me off for a month and I was referred back to occ health. I went back to the gp for another sick note as there was no point going back before seeing occ health.
My appointment was today. It turns out that my boss LIED to me about her conversation with occ health. Occ health said I should till do office work for 2 weeks but in which ever office was quieter. My boss told me that occ health had said that they disagreed with the original plan and I didn't need to do that. If I found the clinic office too noisy, chaotic etc that I should start work a 10 instead of 9 so the office is quieter. She made me go straight back to the clinical area and then told me to go back off sick.
Why send me to occ health to formulate a plan, then totally disregard it because she didn't agree with it? I felt like I was doing well then have been kicked in the tits, I feel like a failure.
I am LIVID, furious, upset and ENRAGED.
The occ health nurse has referred me to the occ health doctor to formulate my next plan for my return to work an has advised me not to even think of going back until after Christmas. My consultant appointment is on dec 18th.
I feel like I was set up to fail by my boss disregarding the PLAN and making up her own. How arrogant to think that she knows more about my health than my doctor, occ health and me. How DARE she undermine all those opinions because she thinks she knows better. I have to speak to her tomorrow but I am not sure how the fuck I can remain civil. I am SEETHING with fury, frustration an disappointment.
AIBU to feel like I have been bullied. I have been so upset and angry today, I look like shit from all the crying.
I am sorry for the massively long post but feel much better for the epic rant.
Thank you if you got this far xxx