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Original poster

WWYD Advent Calender arguments

24 replies

liamsdaddy · 08/12/2010 11:04

DS is 20 months. Generally he is a very good eater and likes his food.

For supper generally we have some meat and vegetables followed by fruit (all of which he eats with his fingers and sometimes his fork). Weekends we add a small cake bar as a treat.

Mostly he just eats his food and when he is full (or fed up with that meal course) he starts playing with the food/throwing it on the floor.

His grandparents gave him an advent calender for christmas - which we added to the dessert stage. The first few days went ok, but this week has been a nightmare.

When he gets to the desert stage he refuses fruit and demands the chocolate from the calender. If we refuse to give him the chocolate until he has eaten the fruit he will chuck the remaining fruit at us once he has the chocolate. Last night he completely refused fruit so he got neither fruit or chocolate (so tantrum).

WWYD? My DW is considering removeing all the chocolate from the advent calender and throwing the calender away. DS would then get the chocolate as a treat when he has been good (which is what we normally do when we are given chocolate for him).

I'm pretty happy with that idea, but I do wonder if anyone has come across a similar situation and handled it a different way.

OP posts:
MissAnneElk · 08/12/2010 11:08

I think you are overcomplicating the whole thing. It's a tiny piece of chocolate. Why not open the advent calendar at a different time of day so that he doesn't associate it with dinner at all.

GoldenGreen · 08/12/2010 11:12

fruit alongside main course, choc after. won't lead to long term issues, honest.

canyou · 08/12/2010 11:12

We have advent calenders I open them at mid afternoon snack time [yes it was to avoid the bribery element] but today I noticed that the younger 2 dc calender have been interfered with and now contain raisins.
DP has yet to be questioned Angry

goodlifemummy · 08/12/2010 11:37

We have ours before breakfast Blush

PfftTheMagicDragon · 08/12/2010 11:52

You are making a massive mountain out of a tiny molehill.

Open the advent calendar at another time of day. Advent calendars are not generally for rewarding good behaviour, you are supposed to have something from it every day.

Allow him to have the chocolate from the calendar mid morning, or mid afternoon. Or any other time. Stop tying it into meal times and save yourself the hassle.

canyou · 08/12/2010 11:52

Goodlifemummy You are a cool Mummy my DC would love you Grin

fel1x · 08/12/2010 11:54

or just let him have the chocolate before the fruit? will it reallly cause any damage to have chocolatte then fruit, rather than fruit then chocolate?

mothersmilk · 08/12/2010 11:55

kids eat theres as soon as they get up Blush as we did as kids Blush never seen it as an issue all eat well good variety and are healthy its only one month in the year

BornToFolk · 08/12/2010 11:57

Let him have the chocolate before he has his fruit.

Or let him open the advent calendar first thing in the morning and have the chocolate then.

thegrudge · 08/12/2010 12:04

You are overcomplicating things.

Either he is allowed chocolate every day or he isn't. Neither chocolate or advent calendars are appropriate awards for good behaviour. I don't think its ever a good idea to imply that chocolate is a reward for eating fruit. If he is having chocolate every day then it isn't more or less healthy to have it before breakfast, mid afternoon or after fruit.

I would either let him open the advent calendar at a non meal time or if you don't want him having chocolate every day then throw it away and make up some lie to cover your tracks. I think the first option is best as he already aware of the advent calendars existence. He will understand that once the advent calendar is finnished then his days of eating chocolate at 7am are over.

taffetazatyousantaclaus · 08/12/2010 12:13

Mine rush down the stairs and open the advent stocking, which often contains chocolate, then move onto the picture calendar and then when they go back upstairs to get dressed, their choc ones Grandma sent. All before breakfast.

Its a tiny chocolate, and its Christmas time. Do it in the morning as suggested by others, then its out the way.

nubbins · 08/12/2010 14:22

I agree it is totally not worth making a fuss over. It is supposed to be fun! In my house chocolate/sweets etc go in the bin if there is fuss over them, and no, I don't feel guilty for depriving my kids!

If it is really and issue, how about an alternative? why not take out all the chocolates and replace them with raisins or dried apricots? you should be able to open to open the calendar at the top, slide out the tray containing the chocolate and swap them without having to open the doors. Personally, I wouldn't bother doing this for a 20 month old, he isn't going to have any concept of what the advent calendar is for anyway.

SantaIsMyLoveSlave · 08/12/2010 14:26

Don't do the advent calendar at suppertime.

DreamTeamGirl · 08/12/2010 14:30

We have ours at breakfast time too

Also, sometimes we have pudding before dinner, especially on holiday Shock
Does him no harm IMO
Its really not worth turning dinner into a battle over a TINY piece of chocolate

pooka · 08/12/2010 14:30

our dcs have their calendar chocolate with their breakfast.

I'm not especially keen on rules when it comes to food consumption.

princessProudmel · 08/12/2010 14:30

Give him the choc in a bowl with the fruit.

My 3 dc's have theirs when they are all dressed and ready for school. Ds1(7)feeds ds2 (1!!!) his in his buggy to keep him happy while I do the last minute getting-ready jobs.

HarkTheHeraldEverything · 08/12/2010 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingIn · 08/12/2010 14:34

Blimey - he's 20 months old. You need to relax or you are both going to end up with a hernia!

I wouldn't change the time of day you give him the advent calendar now, just give him the chocolate after his dinner and before his fruit. It is a tiny bit of chocolate and he is either hungry for fruit or he's not. Stop making it such a big bloody deal.

This is so ridiculous I am actually hoping you are a small under bridge dweller having a bit of fun at our expense.

Seona1973 · 08/12/2010 14:59

ours dont last until evening! We have ours either before or after breakfast. It is such a tiny bit of chocolate that it is not going to make any difference to the amount eaten at a meal anyway.

BadPoet · 08/12/2010 15:05

I thought this was going to be about 2 or more dcs arguing over advent calendar 'turns' (or is it only me who has the spectacularly brilliant idea of not getting them the same ones?)

OP - in the nicest possible way, chill out Xmas Smile

Original poster
liamsdaddy · 08/12/2010 15:40

Oh, I am chilled about it Wink.

DW has already removed the chocolate and vanished the calender so it doesn't really matter in any case.

I pretty much knew that would happen but was interested to know what others thought.

Thanks for the useful suggestions! Maybe for next year.

OP posts:
TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 08/12/2010 15:42

wow I must be the worst mum in the world
I've never thought about it that much,, its a tiny peice of chocolate for 24 days of a year

mine always have them first thing somethimes even before they have peed lol

never gave it a though, they just get up and either do it themselves, bring it to me, or tug me to it looking hopeful (depending on age lol)

ChippingIn · 08/12/2010 18:08

liamsdaddy - does you wife post here too?

If not - she should - we'll soon get her sorted Grin

BigTillyMincepie · 08/12/2010 18:10

Trinity, mine do the same - it's up to them when they eat it, it's their calendar!

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