A last word on my thread from last week

[longingforherchild]

Last week I posted about something that has been weighing on me for months, I can barely think about anything else. I hesitated for weeks before posting and I really put a lot of effort into finding the right words.

What I got back from this community left me speechless.

Users laughing at me, calling it a cheesy Channel 5 story, calling it AI-slop. Telling me I'd wasted her best years and should disappear. Not one person engaged with me as a person or the questions I actually asked.

I'm not here to argue. I said myself that the story doesn't make me look good. But I wrote it in one of the hardest weeks of my life and being laughed at hurt more than I expected.

Your replies were reacting to who I am, a man on a forum/community made up for mothers, rather than to what I wrote. I've asked the moderators to remove my thread and I am glad they did!

To anyone who comes across a post like mine in future:

You don't have to agree with someone to answer them with a little decency.
Goodbye.

I remember your post.

You didn’t want a child with your girlfriend and she did so you both split up. She then got pregnant and had a child by sperm donation and then you wanted to follow her to where she was now living (500 miles away I think) and sounded strangely territorial about her and her child.

‘Shall I let her go’ - dude she’s a grown woman with zero ties to you. She can do as she likes. You didn’t want what she wanted so she did it alone. Now you are regretting that choice.

You had advice, some of it was good advice. Just because it was painful to read doesn’t mean it wasn’t correct.

FFS. Another man moaning because women ...

Your replies were reacting to who I am, a man on a forum/community made up for mothers, rather than to what I wrote

It’s a forum for anyone, men, women, parents, non-parents.

“Longing for her child” is a really, really weird username for a man to have, when he’s talking about a non-related child of a non-related woman.

Ick.

Just go mate.

And it was a woman who wanted a child with him but he didn’t want that 😵‍💫.

I'm really sorry OP that you had such an awful experience.
I don't remember your thread.But it's very very depressing reading the down right nasty responses on an increasing number of threads. Totally unjustified.

I didn't see the man's old thread, but here he wrote 'grieving' a child, the fact that the child is alive and completely unrelated to him and he presumably wants access is... Quite something.

Anyway, bye!

Edit- oh wow, just saw it's 'Longing for HER child'

Sounds as if you totally blew it OP. She's gone on to a new life and moved far away from you. It's not your child so stop stalking her.
Leave her alone, move on, or you'll find yourself with a restraining order.

I agree with you mostly, but the responses to this particular man weren’t nasty, they were realistic. People put their points of view across, and he didn’t like it.

Also, he didn’t want any baby/child with anyone, plus he wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay with her specifically. His friends told him he looked a lot happier after they split, and he felt lighter in himself.

And now the woman has a baby via sperm donor (I’m not sure if that’s the correct wording?) and she’s moved 500 miles away, I sincerely hope she’s living her best life and contemplating buying all sorts of unnecessary tat that her child will love on Christmas Day ❤️.

Thanks for actually engaging with it. You are probably right that part of this is regret, I said as much myself. I will leave it here.