It was fun while it lasted

[bouquetofpencils]

Especially the Christmas bargain thread. I learnt a lot there. Thank you Reastie and JerseySpud. I have also loved the Baby Name topic and Style and Beauty.

I joined up after my beautiful darling daughter was born. She is now one and today we go to her first settling in session at nursery. Next week I am back at work. Mumsnet has helped me retain my sense of identity, for the most part I have loved it.

However having just been told off by someone who says they have been here for years and apparently I had committed a newcomer crime , I think it's time for me to log off and bid MN farewell.

I hoped MN would be a forum of support, not people trying to assert seniority over others. It is something that happens a lot across the chat boards and I find it very petty and immature. It's like dealing with 13yr old girls at high school. It's a shame because this long time MNers versus newcomers is spoiling an otherwise excellent site.

Goodbye, I wish you all well.

Pag, the OP probably didn't expect to have to debate robustly on 'Chat - who's looking forward to Christmas?'

I don't know, I think it's a bit sad.

oO

This was my post:

..........................................................

Bouquet

I don't want to argue about this. I don't have the emotional reserves right now, but I do want to say this...

Christmas is not a specialist subject. It's kind of quite big, features in a lot of people's lives.

Your sarcasm really isn't necessary.

Personally I enjoy the planning and like to get presents sorted early so I can spend December avoiding overheated and overcrowded shops and just focus on having mulled wine, hot chocolates, hog roasts and mince pies. And attending carol concerts. And wearing Christmas jumpers

and that, for you, is lovely & that is exactly why there is a Christmas Topic, so people who feel that way can share those thoughts and I think that's great It's nice for those who can get excited about it, to have a place to discuss it.

However, The Christmas Topic there for another reason as well. It is to protect the people for whom Christmas is an incredibly emotional trigger.

For a lot of people on MN it is a very, very difficult time. Whether that's because they have lost a child, haven't been able to conceive a child to spend christmas with, have lost a parent or for any other reason.

It was decided a few years ago that a Christmas Topic would enable quite a number of people to enjoy the topic year around and give other people a space where it's not rammed down there throats as it can be in the shops from September.

People who have posted here for a long time know and (mostly) respect that. Of course new people don't know that, which is why people either report the threads to have them moved or ask the Op's to do so. If MN see them, they move them, without being asked (well, at least the staff that have been here a while do).

Hopefully this will help you to understand and be a little less sarcastic next time you see someone ask or comment on a thread.

.................................................................................................

Can you please point out to me which part of this constitues 'A telling off' or 'accusing the OP of this thread of a newcomer crime'

??

I do think the OP has taken it too much to heart. Please don't leave.

I did find the post the OP is upset about a bit patronising (the last paragraph really, the rest seemed okay) but nothing worth more than a scowl at the screen.

But we've all over-reacted to stuff and had a strop and been all red faced about it later. I hope the OP doesn't stay away once she calms down.

Thankfully all my rants about posts that have pissed me off have been aimed toward my DH as I could easily have written many a flouncy thread.

BowlersArm - what part of that is robust?

Well I used ' around telling off as I don't see it as telling off but the OP did. I don't get to tell her that how she feels is wrong.

I read your post as a bit patronising at the end plus you accused her of being sarcastic. I see what that irked the OP.

I don't think it's a bad post, there was no nastiness intended from anyone. Just a mountain out of a molehill really. I just don't want to OP here to not come back. But I don't want you to feel got at either.

Honestly Bowlersarm, I know what you mean but I think when i reached for 'robust debate' that was over stating it.

Others have described it as a finger wagging and I think that's probably nearer the truth.

I would prefer people don't get upset and leave but I think Latte is now being blamed for the op leaving as if she intended that to happen or posted something vile.

A poster once mocked a picture of my son because he has SN. It was deleted but shit like that gets posted sometimes. Whilst that is clearly unacceptable I would honestly worry about the ops ability to manage anything intentionally nasty or a 'robust debate'. And on here how often you change your bed sheets can get personal.

I don't really know either, and I think it's all a bit glum making. But I'm not sure this is an upset anyone intended.

X-posted
I used robust latte. Bowlers quoted me.

I look at the post being discussed and see a post where the poster has had her say and pre-empted people replying to her, perhaps negatively, by saying from the outset she doesn't have the emotional reserves to argue.

It smacks of blackmail and bullying - I will have my say and you won't have yours and to make sure you don't I will silence you by being manipulative.

Not nice.

Think everything has been said really. Hope the OP doesn't leave. IMO it wasn't enough to create a flounce, but it obviously hit a nerve with the OP. Sometimes things affect you more than they should.

Absolutely not a flounceworthy incident in my opinion, but I also think that Latte's post was unnecessary and seemed rather superior.

Cariads I said I didn't want to argue about it, I didn't say I didn't want to discuss it. Don't you ever say to anyone - 'I don't want to argue about this'... and then discuss the problem, not argue about it?

I am not being accused of 'Blackmailing and bullying' - because I said I didn't want to argue. Really

not now

How ridiculous.

Goodbye op.

You big bully Mintyy

Is this still going on?!

Are we are not allowed to mention Christmas?

Do we have to put [triggering] in brackets if we mention it outside the designated topic area?

Just want to make sure I'm doing it right (have only been here since 2004)

And I think it's pretty poor form to tell a poster what they can and can't say on the boards.

I mean I'm sure there are many innocuous things mentioned on the boards which are 'triggering' for folk but that doesn't mean we shouldn't mention them.

It was a pretty patronising, finger wagging exercise in self righteousness.

Christ on a bike

Le big fucking sigh

A lot of posts on this thread are more rude and intolerant towards other posters and latte than latte allegedly was to the OP.