It was fun while it lasted

[bouquetofpencils]

Especially the Christmas bargain thread. I learnt a lot there. Thank you Reastie and JerseySpud. I have also loved the Baby Name topic and Style and Beauty.

I joined up after my beautiful darling daughter was born. She is now one and today we go to her first settling in session at nursery. Next week I am back at work. Mumsnet has helped me retain my sense of identity, for the most part I have loved it.

However having just been told off by someone who says they have been here for years and apparently I had committed a newcomer crime , I think it's time for me to log off and bid MN farewell.

I hoped MN would be a forum of support, not people trying to assert seniority over others. It is something that happens a lot across the chat boards and I find it very petty and immature. It's like dealing with 13yr old girls at high school. It's a shame because this long time MNers versus newcomers is spoiling an otherwise excellent site.

Goodbye, I wish you all well.

what's the timeline between new and old?

two people have said 'relatively new' regardless of 3 years of service

into a 3 year relationship, would you say you were still getting to know each other?

personally whether you are new or not does not matter one bit. its about how you see yourself, how you wish to interact and be perceived...

Agree that it was a big load of nothing to get upset about (actually rather lost the point of this thread as I read through it ).

Bouquet - you are being oversensitive, not worth a flounce at all. A finger wag does not = a flaming.

When you announce that you're flouncing is the aim for people to persuade you to stay? I'm never quite sure of the intent!

Wouldn't you just pm any particular 'friends' and disappear? I don't imagine anyone would give a shiny shite if I left MN (and I wouldn't expect them too.)

I suggest that if you want to know what being attacked really is you should start a thread saying "How am I going to get through Christmas without my MM?". Yours was a non-event.

The snarker on that thread clearly has stuff going on. Presuming that bouquet is not a clairvoyant, how is that her fault?

There are a gerzillion other threads which may, according to head girls' rules, be in the wrong place. There are gerzillions of threads which all sorts of mners may find upsetting for all sorts of reasons. But, and thank fuck t'is so, ordinary mners with their problems and issues (and I count myself among them) don't get to be the thread police. It's playground ponytail pulling, especially when the I've been here longer than you card is played.

I didn't know there was a Christmas thread so could have also very easily done the 'not done thing' and I've been here since I was a wee whippersnapper.
First thread I ever started I got told off and that's the nature of the beast. The good generally outweighs the bad but you meet all sorts here and you will get your feathers ruffled from time to time. If I am feeling a bit too fragile for the general melee I try and stick to non contentious topics like Style and Beauty and then still get irked when people are getting told they should buy a bench/use a carrier bag and be grateful, when trying to talk about handbags.

There are another 4 threads currently in active mentioning Christmas and all 4 in the wrong topic so the thread police better get their fingers out, no?

Christmas is a very painful triggering time of year

Well lots of other things are triggering too. Ive seen threads in chat that have caused me to buckle with grief, Ive seen POAS threads in random places which made me cry because I couldnt get pregnant, Ive seen a thread entitled, AIBU to think suicide is selfish the same day we buried a young boy crippled in depression.

Every thing is triggering.

I'm not sure about the triggering stuff. I'm not sure it's reasonable to have it corralled into an avoidable section. Christmas is saturating and unavoidable, unfortunately.

I've been here for ever - even remember life before AIBU and the separate Xmas topic.

I assumed th separate Xmas topic was purely to avoid annoying Maryz posters who don't want to think about Xmas till December. I haven't come across anything about it being kept separate because it is triggering for some people. I appreciate it IS triggering for lots of people and I appreciate that Latte is obv going through a hard time right now but I don't think it is realistic to completely keep Christmas talk to the Christmas topic. Some Christmas themed threads may belong in Relationships for instance. Every thread can be hidden..

Hi All

For those of you who haven't read it, this was the Thread she is referring to
HERE

The OP of that thread asked 'Is anyone thinking about Christmas yet' and I replied:

.......................................................................................

Yes!!

All the mad lentils who post in the Christmas Topic :)

Do feel free to report your own thread and ask MN to move it for you, they're very accommodating and it will stop you getting lynched discussing Christmas on the main boards in August!

There are actually some very good reasons that it's just not 'the done thing' :)

...........................................................................................

I didn't want to wade in and explain why, because most of the reasons are pretty sad, I was trying to be kind to the OP, not horrible.

Then the OP of this thread waded in and it all went from there!

Feel free to read it and make your own judgement if you can be arsed. But please don't judge me on little snippets that have been cut & paste out of context.

Thanks :)

and Thank You to everyone who took the time to read the thread before condemning me, irrespective of your opinion afterwards and an even bigger 'Thank you' to those of you who actually get what I was saying

I read the original thread. (Been here 10 yrs y'see and would never dream of commenting on a Taat without reading the original first)

My comments about snarky tactics and playing the longevity card stand.

But hey, you've made someone leave mn, so that must make you feel really good.

No one makes anyone else leave Mumsnet. As I said, everyone here is an adult and makes their own decisions.

You are most welcome Latte :)

Right, having heard both sides, Latte is BU for trying to be the thread police in a slightly condescending manner. OP is BU for flouncing over a minor difference of opinion.

Now shake hands and play nicely!

Why do people come on this topic?

I genuinely find it bizarre. If you don't want to post on MN anymore then don't.

Because overly dramatic people like to make An Exit, Fence. And have people fawn over them to stay.

Because if you are flouncing there is a reason for it and I suppose the flouncer is cross enough to want everyone to know why.

If you just decide you've grown away from MN/it takes up too much time/any other minor reason then you just stop posting because there isn't a flounce going on as such?

what!!? so the OP of this thread wasnt even the OP of the thread in question?? That's odd.

OP of this thread clearly knows the rules as she has posted her flounce in the appropriate place

maybe she is feeling a bit of 'rage against the machine' regarding not being able to post freely amongst the boards and the Christmas bargain thread being hidden away in a corner of MN.

I had a point but now ive lost it...

I thought the comments on that thread were pretty tame, but I am a lover of AIBU.

I think it's quite probable that the OP feels a bit stressy about an upcoming new chapter of putting dc in nursery/going back to work & has over-reacted. Perhaps when her new routine is underway, she'll be able to see this for the mountain out of a molehill that it is.

Sangria But hey, you've made someone leave mn, so that must make you feel really good

Really?

I posted a reply to another MNer, the OP of the other thread. It had nothing to do with the OP of this thread.

How on earth she can claim I told her off for committing a newbie crime I will never know, she wasn't the OP of the other thread - you know, the person I addressed my comment to! She hardly committed a crime when it wasn't her thread and to add to that, I didn't even tell the actual OP off?!

Beyond belief.

Um, you did address your 'telling off' post to the OP of this thread. You even bolded her name to make sure she knew it was aimed at her.

But really, nobody makes someone leave the whole board through one sniffy comment?

If the post had been a vicious or very personal attack, or one of a series of upsetting comments, then this thread would make sense. But as it is it does just sound like either the op is feeling fragile for one reason or it's a 'toys out of pram' whine.

If she is feeling too fragile for robust debate then perhaps it's best she takes a break or finds support elsewhere. And I say that as someone who picks up posters for rude or aggressive responses.

I've not been here that long and am still learning. There's lots of people on this site and you're not going to like or agree with everyone. But when all's said and done there is a lot of support for people on here. Just give it a break for a while and then come back. That would be my advice.