It was fun while it lasted

[bouquetofpencils]

Especially the Christmas bargain thread. I learnt a lot there. Thank you Reastie and JerseySpud. I have also loved the Baby Name topic and Style and Beauty.

I joined up after my beautiful darling daughter was born. She is now one and today we go to her first settling in session at nursery. Next week I am back at work. Mumsnet has helped me retain my sense of identity, for the most part I have loved it.

However having just been told off by someone who says they have been here for years and apparently I had committed a newcomer crime , I think it's time for me to log off and bid MN farewell.

I hoped MN would be a forum of support, not people trying to assert seniority over others. It is something that happens a lot across the chat boards and I find it very petty and immature. It's like dealing with 13yr old girls at high school. It's a shame because this long time MNers versus newcomers is spoiling an otherwise excellent site.

Goodbye, I wish you all well.

Somebody reported a thread of mine about Christmas last year and MNHQ moved it into the Christmas topic at their request (without asking me).

I'd posted it in chat because I wanted it to disappear

No, actually that poster was talking to the OP re 'not the done thing' she was inviting her over to the Christmas threads and saying the OP's thread could be moved there if she wanted - nothing wrong with that at all.

Then bouquet was snippy with her.

thinkaboutittomorrow

Talk about an over reaction!

"It's not the done thing" may sound snotty to you, but not to others. It's a relatively well used expression where I am from, maybe it isn't where you are from.

The person she was conversing with also said she "didn't have the emotional energy to argue with her" - why didn't you quote that line? Sounds to me as if Latte is in a pretty bad place, something neither you or the OP of this thread have picked up.

There is a whole Christmas topic. Why is it wrong to suggest posters think outside the box as to why that may be?

The gracious thing to do would have been to admit that she didn't think of that, and understood why it may be. Not to defend it, then try to make it into an oldie/newbie clash when it isn't anything of the sort.

Obviously written text doesn't give tone of voice

Perhaps, Op, you should listen to your own advice :)

Then slink back in and carry on as normal as if nothing has happened.

what owlcapone said.

It's not the done thing is definitely a snotty phrase! Designed to make someone feel uncomfortable.

What do people do who want to avoid it as the weeks get closer and closer to Christmas? There must be hundreds of threads in Style & Beauty for example about what to wear to Christmas parties. Or travel about where to go for a holiday over Christmas? And loads of other Christmas themes crossing over on all topics.

Do Christmas haters just avoid MN from October onwards?

I agree it was a bit "telly offey"

The thread in question had "Christmas" in the title, so was not going to be a surprise. As bouquet pointed out, it is nearly September. I personally thought the Christmas Threads were for people who do any, or all, of the following:

a) start shopping for Christmas on January 1st

b) Make their own crackers, decorations etc and spend all year gathering wool off barbed wire fences to make angel wings or similar

c) Make everything from scratch and have a licence to kill if the words "Aunt Bessies" are ever uttered in their vicinity

• not for people who start thinking about Christmas when the kids go back to school which is TBH when it all arrives in the shops. Or for people who don't normally think about Christmas yet but have had to get their arse into gear a bit early because they have a baby due, like the OP of that thread.

What is it about MN that get's me arguing about such silly stuff when it's really really not something I can be arsed to argue about? maybe it's the stack of job descriptions I'm meant to be writing and any chance at distraction.

I was just empathising with the OP - who looks like she has skedaddled anyway. Her prerogative.

I mean if the OP of that thread had posted a thread in the Christmas Topic called "Is anyone thinking about Christmas yet" she'd end up feeling like an idiot.

thinkaboutittomorrow I reckon by your recent post amd your username you are a born procrastinator. ..

fair to say?

The poster who said 'not the done thing' to the OP of the thread did so after a few posters had said stuff like 'hell no, it's only August'

I think she posted what she did to guide her to somewhere she could chat about Christmas with those who wanted to, thus avoiding snippy comments.

She was being kind not telling off ffs.

A snotty phrase to you BowlersArm, but not to everyone. We arent all alike.

Why the sarcasm? Is it hard to imagine someone who (for eg) lost their child on Xmas Day not wanting to be 'reminded' of Christmas in August? Is it hard to imagine that the same person may have hidden the Christmas topic?

I don't know, maybe I'm too 'goody goody' but when a poster is obviously hurting, I think it's pretty rank to try to excuse your actions by attacking, rather than simply apologising. No matter your actual views.

The OP of this thread posted a link to the christmas threads first, unless I’m reading that thread wrong. The post from head-girl was very patronising and "follow my rules you silly women."

Annoying but not worth flouncing over OP. Ignore and carry on as you were.

I think the other poster was unnecessarily snippy too fwiw.

There is too much eggshell walking at times on this site, just about everything in life may be triggering to someone but that premise seems to override all else on mn sometimes.

The thread asked "anyone thinking of Xmas yet?", clearly a pointless question to ask in the Xmas topic - it is perfect light hearted chat fodder though imo. Should the poster who started it have put a trigger warning in the title?

Chat is surely just that - chat?

Aw, sorry you got hurt by some comment or other - MN can be robust.

Ignore and move on.

Tbh, I think chances are you'll be back - maybe not just now, but in the future. All my kids are in nursery and I am back at work, but still MN is a life line

namesnick erm, yes, why do today what you can stay up until midnight to finish off tonight?

OK. Now I am closing mumsnet and I will not leave word until I have done at least 1 JD.

There's a Christmas thread?

I wasn't being sarcastic, Eve. I thought I was genuinely pointing out that Christmas will be the talk across all the topics soon because it'll be relevant to many topics. I don't see how anyone is going to avoid it.

I think you have been over-sensitive here OP. I have read the thread and it wasn't said nastily and was explained further nicely in a later post. You had so many lovely replies and you are concentrating on the one that said you were in the wrong topic. A lot of stroking of your feelings has happened now on this thread so maybe you could NC and come back?

I've now read the thread in question and I think you've not been attacked as such at all - disagreed with, but not flamed.

If you feel you've had more out of MN than it has 'cost' you, come back.

The Christmas topic is very lively this year.

I've just been rather sad looking back to compare, and there have been over 6 pages of threads in the Topic since Feb. Last year it was just under 3 for similar period.

No idea what's caused the huge increase.

Glad most of it is in the dedicated topic, as having it all together makes it fun when plunging in.

I thought Latte's post was an informative/factual/history of MN as to why there was a separate Christmas topic tbh.

I'm not dead new (think it's been about 3 years since I registered)& I hadn't thought of the emotional trigger side as a reason for the separate topic.

I really don't think there was any side or hidden agenda to Latte's posts but if you can only deal with fluffy posts, then perhaps an internet forum isn't the place for you?

Of course people can argue about whether the person was being snippy and head girlish or kind and reasonable. I can see points for both sides if I'm honest.

But the point is that it was sufficiently innocuous that one can argue both sides but the op started a thread to flounce about it.

How does anyone get so sniffy about a comment so ambiguous that some can consider helpful, that they flounce and start a thread about it.

It is a massive foot stamp and a bit silly.