Obstetric violence - legs forced open against my will

[NibliaBiblia]

When I was in labour with my daughter, the midwives spent twenty minutes trying to force my legs open to get me flat on my back with my legs up. There was no emergency. It was so they could get a better CTG reading. I physically resisted for as long as I could and verbally told them to stop. They didn't stop until I gave up. After that they did other things without my consent, but I did not they to stop them again.
I complained to the hospital and they have done nothing. I complained to the police and they told me there must have been an emergency. I've complained to the NMC and the CQC. I hope they will do something but it's a long process so I won't know for a long time.
The police used to say that domestic violence was a private matter. They used to say that if you got in the car/went into the apartment/were drinking then you must have agreed to it. I think this is exactly the same type of justification, applied to equally criminal behaviour.
I don't think my experience is abnormal. I think this is fairly routine. They thought that when I gave up that meant I consented.

I would hate to be a midwife these days. That's coming from someone who opted for a home birth because I wanted some autonomy overy body. Some procedures are necessary for the greater good.

Yes I agree. Women in labour are not always making practical logical decisions with a clear head.

There is quite some way between being told what they think and being asked to do something different and being physically assaulted

So restrain them when they're saying no?

And this is why you’re a fool to take any drug that allows them to suggest you’ve lost mental capacity and / or not to have an epidural or use other pain relief that leaves you able to function and make decisions.

Could not agree more.

My baby only survived with no brain damage because I was over ruled by medical staff. I wanted to keep pushing and they pushed the crash buzzer and 17 people came in and I was wheeled off to theatre. I was a bit confused and weird for weeks after as it all happened so fast but I had a birth debrief and realised how lucky I had been.

i wrote a letter to the hospital thanking them for making the right decision when I wasn’t able to

There was no suggestion that I'd lost capacity. At any time.

Midwives can't do right for wrong sometimes. They aren't doing it for laughs -they are trying to ensure the safety of the mother and baby. I cannot understand why somebody would refuse to open their legs in the first place.

Surely given that the CQC itself and numerous scandals tell us that NHS maternity is failing, it’s better not to put all your faith in the professionalism or skill of the staff.

General comment - not to you. Apologies if you read it as criticism.

Yep! Happened to me and I’m very grateful. I was begging no no

me and my midwife were saying let me keep pushing, the consultant was called from across the hospital and just said you are being put to sleep now. I was asleep very shortly after.

my baby went to NICU as they were poorly. She did recover in the end.

No, just clarifying.

And your husband just sat there and let this all happen, did he? He obviously did not agree that you were being assaulted.

Legally this isn't right. They don't do a balancing of mother vs baby. If she has capacity the mother can refuse consent for any reason.

@NibliaBiblia if other routes haven't achieved resolution you should consult a solicitor.

Yes much better to think your medical knowledge and expertise is better than the medical staff

I think he was just overwhelmed and just froze. He definitely agrees that I was assaulted.

How much conversation was there that you consented to CGC but didn’t want to be on your back?

You need to hold the CTG monitor ideally over the babies bakc or chest to listen to their heartbeat. The baby moves around, that's why they try different places on the stomach and get you to move positions. If they can't find the heartbeat that might be because the baby has died. When they put the CTG monitor on, and can't hear babies heartbeat, everyone panics a bit. I imagine they put you on your back as that way they could find babies heartbeat, and were trying to focus on whether it was normal. They weren't putting your comfort as their first concern, not because they are sadists, but because they were focusing on babies heartbeat, and probably wondering if they needed to call a crash section. They were examining you to work out babies position and how birth was coming along, as again if baby is in distress but is not very far along, an emergency c-section is likely needed, whereas if babies heartrate is dropping because it's head is being squeezed as it comes out, it is less worrying.

There weren't just doing it to be horrible. If you try to understand this, you will feel better about it.

Well, they didn't ask me about the CTG they just put it on. But I was happy to have it so I never tried to stop them.

It doesn’t follow. Only a fool doesn’t listen to sensible medical advice from qualified professionals. Only a fool doesn’t assess it carefully particularly where views differ in the profession itself or where there are doubts as to the quality or bona fides of the advice giver.

It’s very strange that we’re expected to assume that all doctors and other medical staff are equally competent whereas they vary in quality and professionalism as
much as plumbers, teachers or any other profession.

I would never discount good medical advice- but I do all I can to make sure that it is.

This is such a sad thing to believe. Poor you.

Agree

I agree. Op isn't trying to understand, just rejecting all explanation and is determined to be the victim of meaningless unhinged violence, rather than understand what has happened

I find it incomprehensible that you didn't just do what was needed so they could do the monitoring