Micro Acts of Feminism

[AntiqueBooks]

Hello

I heard somewhere about eg assuming a Dr is a woman so when someone says "the Dr will be along in a minute" you say "great I'll see her soon then".

Is there a book or a website or something that has more ideas like this?

Thanks

Love all these. When worked in school used reverse sexism all the time eg asking girls to move tables, tidy the lego (still dominated by boys), boys to be a friend to new person or tidy up table-as still feel resentful that at primary school only boys were allowed to wheel in the TV trolley🤣and want everyone to have chance at all the skills.

MyDDhas baby and we alter the words of nursery rhymes/stories to even things out

Always try to give new baby present not stereotypical. Remember Pink Stinks website? So many different colours mad to stick to pink and blue divide.

When people say to me “oh you didn’t change your surname” I always instantly reply “actualy neither of us change our surnames”

the kids have my surname btw.

Our house is full of green persons (not green man), full of female toys, endlessly has animals in stories switched to being female, and where possible (through lack of pictures suggesting otherwise), the doctors, nurses, fire officers, police, post people, and any other character has a quick gender swap to make it more life like.

oh and I do my best to get mums & dads swapping roles in stories, and I swap over whether the brother or sister says a particular line. Always nice when then brother says “what are we going to do?” And then sister takes the lead on decisions/problem solving.

I started the watch football when the Lionesses did so well a couple of years ago, mainly because I read somewhere: "Why should women footballers get the same salary as the blokes when they have less viewers?"
I don't / didn't normally like football but it turns out I find the women's teams to be better entertainment. Their interviews are also better. They actually have something to say instead of variations of "We are going to crush them!!!!! Roar roar".

I also click on articles about women athletes.

When I go to the library I always ensure that at least some of the books I borrow are written by women.

I bought two feminist books mainly to support the authors. I normally just borrow books at the library. I have considered also borrowing the books from the library to let the library know that people like books by thise authors.

I write complaints to newspapers and television programmes if the write or air something I consider to be misogynistic. Such as " The Ministry had started making many mistakes because they had hired a lot of women" (Meaning that a bad manager had caused a stampede out the door and now there were no one to train their replacements. )

I also complain if they claim that TWAW.

I mocked a Danish newspaper for writing "Madonna is supporting some school girls in Mali", as she had built and ran several free schools. That is not how we define "some".

Cant agree with the footballers interviews (assume we are talking about the actual players before & after a game etc), the male players are extremely media trained to the point they rarely say anything remotely interesting. Female players are equally as bland when they give interviews too

Animals and cuddly toys are all ‘she’ unless they’re obviously male. The red/green crossing light is the green women.

I love patriarchy chicken.
I walk purposefully with eyes fixed on the middle distance and everyone moves out of the way.
I do like it when a man does a sudden swerve out of my way. I’ve never been shoulder charged though I am ready for it.

i did end up nose to nose with a man absorbed in his phone. I asked if he thought he was going to walk through me? He huffed, did a side step and we both went on our way.

I teach languages in an all-girls secondary school. I try to use lots of 'she' in my example sentences, regularly point out how sexist language is, and when teaching verbs, I put 'she/he' rather than the other way around. 'He' is normally always first

I like to raise my voice and carry on talking if a man interrupts before I have finished. The other week ant work, the arrogant barrister I had the misfortune to deal with drew the wrong conclusion from doing so, meaning I had to correct him. Next time I will do a Kate Garroway and say quickly, “I’m going to finish speaking” possibly while raising a finger.

I’m reading a book from a SC judge atm who is a woman and she uses she and her through out as default. Eg ‘if a judge gets her brief she will’.. in generic examples etc

Pretty much every time. It’s great.

Haha yep, I have been in situations a few times when a man says something like “ Suzy is leaving please can someone organise a present collection/ card” and then looks at me expectantly… if I can get away with it I just say nothing and gaze off into the middle distance. If asked directly I say “sorry, I can’t do that” and suggest they ask one of the young men I work with (who NEVER get asked).

Oh yes, I’m also a reformed people pleaser so I have to sometimes sit on my hands. I also always organise a present at Christmas for my boss (I am in an all male senior leadership team) and just haven’t this year. No one will mind and there is no expectation I do it but I just thought that’s quite a stereotypical female thing to do so have stopped. similarly not offering to take notes.

I will start doing the default to she fior everything. I correct my husband when he refers to obviously female sheep and cows as male and he has stopped doing it. But I sometimes default to he with a dog I meet for example so need to get a grip on that!

But how do you know the doctor will be a woman?

Are you suggesting that only women can be doctors?

How is being polite and cordial petty?

Similarly, how is complementing a man's clothing fighting for feminism?

Why? What’s the point in doing that.

having read some of this thread I’m struggling to see the point in most of these suggestions.

Most of them I would just roll my eyes and think what a twat. (I am a woman but the way)

What's the reasons behind this?

Are women reluctant to help other women and give CPR?

Some of these are great, but some I would be concerned that if women start doing/saying things to men that we don't like being done or said to us, it would make it seem acceptable

@Lengokengo
I'm married and would be highly annoyed if you addressed anything to myself and my husband as Mrs and Mr! Ms and Mr - hell yeah!

My 7 year old DD defaults to “she” about everyone and everything - professionals, animals, cuddly toys. I love it!

She attends an all girls school and I still remember one of the things that sold me on it - when the head talked about how going to a girls school which means they grow up never even thinking that women and girls can’t be in charge because all roles of responsibility and academic prizes - including in STEM - go to girls.

We're talking about 'mirco' acts here. It’s not that holding a door for a man or calling his clothes cute is some huge feminist statement, it’s more about quietly challenging societal expectations.

We’re used to men wanting to hold the door and assert their masculinity by letting women go first, when you reverse it and insist they go first, often they get frustrated that you're challenging that power balance, mostly subconsciosly. That awkward little pause is kind of the point, they don't like a woman reversing the roles.

Same with saying a man’s outfit is cute or pretty. Those words are usually used to describe women and are seen as feminine and soft. Using them for men pokes at the idea that femininity is somehow weak or embarrassing, or that men can’t be associated with being cute or pretty, of course they can, but some men really dont like it!

Micro acts are not about a big fight, that's the whole point, it's tiny, everyday things that gently mess with the rules we’ve all absorbed without realising.

TBH, it make you sound like you're not a very nice person.

Love this thread, lots of great ideas. I've just finished reading a book, It's a (wo)man's world, where women are the default, lots of things here reminded me of that fantasy world.

If being polite and giving compliments is unkind, I’ll take that risk. The 'be kind' brigade seems to prefer kindness that doesn’t make men feel uncomfortable.

Why do you have to make men feel uncomfortable?

A man holds a door for you out of respect, you hold a door for a man because you want to make him feel uncomfortable.

You sound like the problem in that situation.

I'm married and I'm still Miss. I've had people argue with me that "legally" I'm not allowed to use that title and that my "legal" surname is my husband's surname. I enjoy asking them to direct me to the Act of Parliament which makes those provisions as I've never been able to find it. (I'm a lawyer btw.)

A man holding a door out of respect is an absolutely ridiculous notion to me, and as a feminist makes me feel a bit uncomfortable too. Men make women feel uncomfortable all the time in ways far worse than holding doors open, I'm sure they can handle it.