Do male nurses ask to wash female hospital patients?

[PrinceRegentLady]

Asking because of a comment I saw on a thread about the M&S changing room issue. The comment reminded me of an experience of my own.

My question is: is it considered acceptable, in terms of professional behaviour, for a male nurse (just a bog standard male, I’m not thinking about transgender people here, that’s a whole different issue) to approach a frail female hospital patient, alone, out of the blue, & ask her if she wants HIM to help her wash her body in the shower? (I do not mean to ask generally if she wants help washing, which could come from anyone - but to ask if HE specifically can help her wash in the shower.)

Or is this only done, in the case of a female patient, by a female nurse?

And whatever the answer to this is, what should it be?

What a lot of nonsense. I’m a female nurse.
Why is it considered “unprofessional” that a nurse, would ask if it is ok to do their job?
If the patient should decline, that is absolutely fine, let’s get a female in to help wash them.
A male nurse asking if it is ok to help them get washed is actually professional as they are seeking consent and not saying “you are going to be washed by me”.
Honestly. The state of the NHS and this is what you are concerned with?!

That is awful. I’m sorry to hear this happened to you. This doctor should have been struck off. It’s sexual assault. Hope you’re ok.

Would a male nurse washing a female patient, do it discreetly, like under a cover / holding a towel so you can turn etc the way massage/beauty practitioners do etc etc etc?

I've never been washed by a nurse. Only had an inpatient stay for 3 days as a tween for tonsils/adenoids.

There isn’t different teaching for men & women. All of us are all taught to maintain privacy and dignity of patients so it’s a staged process either covered by blankets or towels and done with consent. Also, if someone has use of their hands they should be washing the places they can reach themselves once we provide washing equipment and clean water & towels. I have personally been in MANY situations where patients (both male & female) have pulled their cover off and said it was fine and also asked me to wash them and I’ve had to encourage them to do it themselves. In my experience, women in particular are more likely to say ‘oh will you do it’ when they are feeling unwell. Baring in mind I was just 21 when I qualified and just 18 when I started working in hospitals on placements.

There is never going to be a one size fits all, but the healthcare workers are meant to always be asking consent and the patients really need to verbalise their preferences even if it is on admission before any procedures etc. I expect this will improve over time as it’s sometimes generational whether people are willing to state a preference or not.

Women need to be protected from ‘some’ men, not all.

But you don’t know who the ‘some men’ are, do you? Therefore it has to be ‘all men’, sadly.

Thanks.

It's a bit hard to state preferences though when women are told they are wrong for wanting women only wards etc and all the fuss around that.

How does it work if a woman says she wants a woman to wash her for instance and a trans nurse turns up

Going by events of the last few years, if she objects she might be yelled at, told she’s a transphobic bigot or have her treatment cancelled and booted out of the hospital (yes I have heard two accounts of this happening for polite objections to men calling themselves women being in a female ward).

It’s luck of the draw I guess.

I’ve worked in health care for 16 years and during this time, I’ve observed and been involved in many many requests for specific requirements of care. All have been accommodated where possible, and if not possible it’s been communicated why and the patient has been able to make an informed decision on how to proceed. I’ve also never worked with a trans nurse despite working across multiple hospitals and GP practices. I’m not saying there aren’t issues as I know PP’s have media stories, but the percentage is negligible enough for me coupled with my experience that I wouldn’t mind who washed me. I am of course lucky I haven’t been victim of SA or something to make me more uncomfortable though so I am not saying that to diminish others feelings, just reassure that there isn’t a predator on every other ward. Ultimately, if preferences can’t be accommodated are people willing to decline care as that what it boils down to in some instances.

eta - in terms of being hard to state preferences. If I go into a patient the exchange goes something like - ‘good morning so and so, let’s get you washed is that ok?’ And they say, ‘actually btowngirl, I’d prefer a man to wash me.’ I’ll say, ‘ok great let’s go & see who we have available, you may have to wait a bit longer though if that’s ok?’ I’ve seen it with my male colleagues too. People generally go into healthcare because they want help people (and I know there are bad apples but they are the minority). It’s not seen as a negative request although slightly tarnished if the patient is rude or offensive but we get rude & offensive patients all the time and don’t treat all patients like they’re rude & offensive. It’s much more of a difficult concept to expect no men in healthcare than ask patients to verbalise a preference.

@LizzyEm all nurses regardless of their sex or the pts sex would provide minimal exposure while bathing a patient. That’s the nursing theory answer. In reality your whole backside may be exposed or your breasts but not typically both simultaneously