Vagina joke

[hotdogcharge]

I was in a team of 4 men (me being the only woman) and my manager. We were having a work meeting the other day when my manager cracked a joke about smelly fannies, which quite frankly wasn't even funny. I felt embarrassed, disrespected and when I came home - I cried when I told my husband.

Was this sexual harassment?

It's completely inappropriate and you should report him to HR, what an absolute wanker.

Yes, it absolutely is:

www.acas.org.uk/sexual-harassment**

Awful. I'd be interested in the reactions of your male colleagues too

They just cringed.

And said he's a nice man. He didn't mean it that way.

I hope you take it to HR.

Nice men don't make nasty jokes about women's privates, ever really, but especially not in front of women. I'm sorry you were subjected to this, it's definitely inappropriate and if you feel happy to, I do think you should take it further.

The whole thing about our privates smelling bad is such clear misogyny, firstly it's not true and secondly have any of us ever known a man whose willy smelled nice after a day in pants?

How horrible.

What way do they think he meant it FFS. It's inappropriate in the work place, and it should be reported to HR.

Nice men don't make nasty jokes about women's privates, ever

This.

And professional men don't do it at work, even if they aren't nice enough to refrain in ther personal time.

Write & send yourself an email OP describing the incident date time etc who was there, purpose of meeting, how it made you feel your reaction at the time and at home and how you now feel having to report to this person etc. do it on your nonwork/ personal email account and send it to yourself tonight. That way you have a contemporaneous as possible (time date stamped due to email) record of the incident should you want to pursue with HR dept if there is one. I would complain right now but if for any reason you don’t feel able to this moment and then there are other subsequent incidents you have a good record of this first one.

Yep, that's sexual harassment. And no, nice men don't make comments like that.

D'you know what?
'Nice men don't do that, ever' is a great standardised come back to sexist behaviour for all sorts of situations. I'm going to practice it. 'Nice men don't repeat women's ideas as their own' etc.

You shouldn't have to put up with that and I'm sorry you were so upset. I would report to HR it's completely unacceptable.

I mean definitely sounds like he’s a berk, I would have called him out for it at the time but appreciate some people aren’t comfortable doing that.

@Bettedaviseyes111 "I mean definitely sounds like he’s a berk, I would have called him out for it at the time but appreciate some people aren’t comfortable doing that."

Well done you.

I think very unlikely I'd have called him out. I'd have gone home and cried like you did.

And then regretted I hadn't said something like 'I'll let your wife know how you feel, luckily for you she'll probably let you nowhere near hers in future'

The problem is, the man might respond "nice men don't get laid" or "nice men earn 40 grand a year"
Or some stupid response that still leaves you feeling diminished.

Wow, that is disgusting. It's definitely misogynistic and crosses the line. It could be regarded as sexual harassment even if his motive wasn't about getting sex.

It's crass and I agree that it probably wasn't funny, but I don't understand why it's horrendously offensive. I'm pretty sure women are disgusted by penises too.

I don't think it was the nature of the joke per se but more about the location and who was present. I was in a small room with 4 men (I was the only woman) and he cracked this joke about smelly vaginas. I felt degraded and caught off guard.

You don't have to justify yourself OP. If it upsets you that's enough and it was completely inappropriate. Perhaps down the pub it might be different but there's no excuse in a workplace setting.

Yes, do the right thing and report to his manager and HR or he'll continue to do this and make others uncomfortable

Duh! It's because she is a woman and was the only one in the room. Take it you are a man <child>.
Has this manager the brain of an 8 year old? It's not funny and he's definitely not nice.
Unfortunately I don't think saying anything will change this underlying puerile behaviour.
It is totally inappropriate in any circumstance.
So sorry OP you have to put up with this. I feel sorry for his wife.
You need to make a complaint so HR can build up a picture of his management "style" ie 1970s throw back. 😬🤔

@CantBelieveNaive Take it you are a man <child>.

Imagine replying to a thread about a sexist comment by making another sexist comment.