Unsolicited penis pics

[XChrome]

There is a thread elsewhere on MN from a woman who was sent a dick pic out of the blue by a longtime male "friend."
Opinion seems to be split along the lines of;

1. He is attracted to her, is flirting with her and thinks she might want to have sex with him if she sees his dick.

2. It's an act of predatory sexual aggression, a way to force her to engage sexually (albeit if only by looking at the photo) without her consent.

I suspect most of the posters here will be in the second camp, because it's not really debatable that sending a dick pic is just harmless "flirting." It's inherently aggressive.

My questions are; what if it's your boyfriend or husband? Suppose you have never expressed an interest in seeing his dick pics and are not into nude photos in general, but he sends you a dick pic anyway. Is he being aggressive, or is he just a moron who doesn't get that what turns him on is not the same as what turns you on?
Is it permissible for a sexual partner to send you unsolicited nudes?
Would you be angry, or would you dismiss it as a bad joke?

I'd assume it was a technical fail and was meant for the doctor.

Suppose it was accompanied by a message like; "Would you like some of this tonight?"

I would think it crude, gross and deeply unattractive.

I would assume my husband has had a stroke and I would call 999 immediately.

I would probably find it funny and laugh it off, but maybe we shouldn't do that. Maybe we should take things like that as signs of sexual aggression. That's what I'm trying to determine.

Women are not a collective. If some women find that sort of thing funny, sexy, whatever, that's their prerogative.

I know that. My question isn't so much about how different individuals might respond, but what others think the nature of such acts is. Are unsolicited dick pics inherently aggressive, or does it depend on the situation and the people involved?

IME of OLD, the majority of men do ask before they send one. If you see someone enough to be considered their girlfriend, you might get unsolicited pics or videos, usually asking, "what should I do with this?" or just saying he was thinking of me.

I imagine if I said that's disgusting or something, they wouldn't do it again, but it doesn't bother me. I'm not that interested in seeing pictures, but if I've seen the real thing, they don't upset me at all. I already know they can wank without video evidence, too.

It's a dick. They all have them. They're very proud of them. Just like a toddler might be about a big poo that they want to tell you about... Although I've also met a few men in their 50s for whom it is challenging, so I suppose they do feel proud then. Those aren't the ones who get into a relationship with me, though. I just get the impression nearly every man takes a pic of his erection, whether or not he shares it.

One of exes hated pics of himself nude. We took a few once for a laugh and he said he couldn't stand to look at them. Low self esteem, I guess. Another had such fondness for his dick that he gave it a name. So it runs the gamut, but I reckon your right that most of them are proud of their dicks.

If it's your partner, particularly one you live with, I guess what's the difference between him unexpectedly walking into a room naked & saluting the sun, compared to him sending you an unexpected pic of his little man? Is one more inherently aggressive?

It of course depends on your relationship and your sexual 'norm'. How do you normally signal to each other that you want to get to it? How do you respond if the other isn't keen.. sulk & strop, or respectfully accept?

I'd send back this 🤮

If a man flashed at you in the street, how would you feel?
Flashing is an offence and this behaviour can escalate to rape.
Flashing using a phone is just as deplorable.

I think some men are just thick. They think because they would find unsolicited tit pics a turn on, it means women would find unsolicited dick pics a turn on.

However there are sinister men who get off on the idea that they've made you uncomfortable by exposing themselves to you. Internet flashers basically.

This

i agree that its an act of aggression, i think it should be of offence like flashing is

i have a few friends and work colleagues who have been subjected to this and one who recently facetimed after chatting on a dating site and he was masturbating

a work colleague (female) sent me a dick pic once, as a joke, I was fucking furious and told her so 😀

(if its your actual partner then I appreciate that might be different)

Perhaps I'm old, but option one in the OP is appalling.
Suddenly, out of the blue a long term friend sends you a photo of their genitals and it's flirting? It really isn't is it?

😂😂😂that has properly tickled me this morning

No, it really isn't.

God, if that's flirting then I'm glad I decided to stay single.

Thanks @MrsDanversGlidesAgain I thought I was going mad in my old age there. Flirting is someone asking you for a coffee or saying your hair looks nice. Sending a photo of your undercarriage is either medical, confrontational, aggressive or deranged.

When I was in the game flirting was eyes meeting across the office and smiling or a light conversation that made both of you smile, feel better, possibly a bit warm around the nethers and think 'yep, I could take this further, NO problem.' But I'm old.

Vomits.

The bottom line is - any unsolicited dick pic is illegal

Unsolicited.

In a relationship there is build up- you don't surprise partners out of the blue. Walking in on your partner unexpectedly is very different.

There's room for mistakes- if I asked him to organise me a birthday treat, and asked for a photo, I'd expect a picture of a birthday cake or a glass of wine and rose petal sprinkled bathtub. He might send a dick pic. I would call that a misunderstanding.

Unsolicited is unacceptable- it's like starting sex while one person is asleep assuming it's ok. It's not ok to assume.

Unsolicited & without the appropriate context it is not an acceptable. Cannot see how sending a dick pic out of the blue to flirt with a friend would ever work tbh. not sure it is aggressive, but certainly pathetic & tedious. I would also consider the time it was sent.

two options to respond 1) ask ‘was this really meant for me’. 2) after careful consideration, nope. 🙄

True, but who would turn her own husband or boyfriend in for it?

In the case in that thread, she wisely decided to get rid of the creep.
Apparently they had recently had a conversation in which she revealed she has had casual sex. I'm guessing she became a "slut" in his eyes, so he wanted to show her his contempt.
She did ask him about it, but he offered no explanation or apology, which says it all.