Unsolicited penis pics

[XChrome]

There is a thread elsewhere on MN from a woman who was sent a dick pic out of the blue by a longtime male "friend."
Opinion seems to be split along the lines of;

1. He is attracted to her, is flirting with her and thinks she might want to have sex with him if she sees his dick.

2. It's an act of predatory sexual aggression, a way to force her to engage sexually (albeit if only by looking at the photo) without her consent.

I suspect most of the posters here will be in the second camp, because it's not really debatable that sending a dick pic is just harmless "flirting." It's inherently aggressive.

My questions are; what if it's your boyfriend or husband? Suppose you have never expressed an interest in seeing his dick pics and are not into nude photos in general, but he sends you a dick pic anyway. Is he being aggressive, or is he just a moron who doesn't get that what turns him on is not the same as what turns you on?
Is it permissible for a sexual partner to send you unsolicited nudes?
Would you be angry, or would you dismiss it as a bad joke?

That is a brilliant response. 😆 Well done.

I just send back a photo of a severed penis.

I wouldn't expect women to moderate their behaviour for the sake of other women. Women are not the problem here, nor are they the solution. Men need to be taught about respect and consent from when they are little boys.

Another great response. So many good ideas in this thread.

If it's husband I'd say he's been watching porn.

Isn't cyber flashing a crime?

I wouldn't send a dick pic to any female friend. I never did it in a relationship - it would have felt weird and wrong even in that setting. I genuinely don't understand it and see it as a gross abuse of the recipient.

That depends on the jurisdiction. However, I can't imagine it would be considered criminal if it was your BF or husband doing it. It's quite clear cut that sending an unsolicited dick pic to somebody you aren't sexually involved with is harassment. When it's somebody you are involved with, it's a trickier question.

Agreed. If she hasn't asked for it or otherwise indicated interest in it (for example, by sending pictures of her privates) it's aggression.

I think it's slightly different in a relationship. Things change and it becomes the second if the "receiver" makes it clear she's not ok with it and that boundary is crossed.

A friend of mine and her husband do it. She once accidentally sent a pic to the wrong recipient, who fortunately had a sense of humour.

Her husband has the same name as me so I live in constant terror 😆

This offence came in to force on 31 January 2024 and was created by the Online Security Act 2023. The Act inserts a new provision into the Sexual Offences Act 2003 (s 66A, an offence known formally as ‘Sending etc photograph or film of genitals’).

A woman was cyberflashed, took a screenshot and took it to the police and the man got 66 weeks.

It's UK law. It's apparently been law in Scotland for ten years. In this case, the woman wasn't in a relationship with the man and it was unsolicited so she could have had him prosecuted. It's way too common.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/mar/19/court-jails-first-person-convicted-of-cyber-flashing-in-england

I’d assume he’d suffered some kind of brain injury. He’d be more likely to photograph his own pancreas than ever send a dick pic to me or anyone else.

If it was a partner I'd think they'd gone completely mad. I would not be offended by my partner's penis.

If it was a work colleague or friend I'd be livid.

Yes.

Unsolicited is aggressive yes. A guy I dated used to send me them and I found it a turn on but it was all consensual.

But is “husband sends unsolicited dicpic” the same as “husband flashing in his own house”? Because I am totally ok with the last one (if the kids are in bed)
I think it is depending on context. If i am at work and get a dicpic it is gross. But if hubby went of to bed before me and then sent me one to get me get of the couch and join him, i might actually appreciate it.

I’d not thought of it as an act of aggression but its given me good for thought. Husband doesn’t send them thank goodness but an ex did many years ago. He was an ex by then and I didn’t recognise the number in my phone. I got it at work. I was really annoyed and angry but just deleted it and didn’t respond. I understand now it’s got law behind it to report it.

food apologies

😆😆"medical, confrontational, aggressive or deranged." Brilliant.👏

@EBearhug It's a dick. They all have them. They're very proud of them. Just like a toddler might be about a big poo that they want to tell you about...

"A big poo". 😆

I'd never be with a partner who thought it would be OK in the first place.

So if I received one, I've made a terrible miscalculation. And yes, I'd dump that asshole and report him. Cyber flashing is a sex crime.

Honestly? It would be so out of character I’d assume he meant to send it to someone else!