Unsolicited penis pics

[XChrome]

There is a thread elsewhere on MN from a woman who was sent a dick pic out of the blue by a longtime male "friend."
Opinion seems to be split along the lines of;

1. He is attracted to her, is flirting with her and thinks she might want to have sex with him if she sees his dick.

2. It's an act of predatory sexual aggression, a way to force her to engage sexually (albeit if only by looking at the photo) without her consent.

I suspect most of the posters here will be in the second camp, because it's not really debatable that sending a dick pic is just harmless "flirting." It's inherently aggressive.

My questions are; what if it's your boyfriend or husband? Suppose you have never expressed an interest in seeing his dick pics and are not into nude photos in general, but he sends you a dick pic anyway. Is he being aggressive, or is he just a moron who doesn't get that what turns him on is not the same as what turns you on?
Is it permissible for a sexual partner to send you unsolicited nudes?
Would you be angry, or would you dismiss it as a bad joke?

I think some men are just thick. They think because they would find unsolicited tit pics a turn on, it means women would find unsolicited dick pics a turn on.

This.

I said this ... Much more wordily, in that thread and got attacked by a poster who didn't understand what I was saying.

I hung out with a gay guy for a few years ..and his accounts of how he hooked up with men left me bamboozled. I just don't think most women would hook up in that way i.e. after exchanging looks of interest, stand next to each other in a dark club and stick their hands down his trousers to grab the guys dick etc. I feel like it demonstrates the difference between many men and women; there is no wtf?ery between a lot of gay men, because they're on the same wavelength.

Surely heterosexual men know better after having used that tactic and been turned down. I don't buy that they don't realize most women aren't interested in dick pics.

If it was my partner I'd be fine with it, but presumably any partner of mine would know that about me. Even from my partner, I'd want some verbal build up first.

A long term friend sending me a dick pic out of the blue - I'd assume he was drunk tbh, although I'd also assume he was thinking of me sexually and I'd experience that as unnerving /friendship-ruining.

Agree. It would be a dealbreaker in a friendship for me.

That would only work if all women reacted negatively to it. But they don't. Especially within relationships.

Yep. If you ever find yourself in the position of being "one of the guys" in a group of men, you get to see and hear a lot more than you would have if they thought of you as a girl/woman. Men are generally a lot more simple and straight forward when it comes to sex, and some never learn that they need to adjust their behaviour to appeal to women who generally have a different attitude to sex and relationships. Hence, "I'll send her my dick to turn her on, then hopefully she'll send me tits (or more) in return."

It's a modern day equivalent of flashing which is considered deviant behavior and is illegal

The laws have just not kept up with the internet and Technology

Good point. Sexual exhibitionism is definitely a paraphilia. However, I wonder if there's more to it than than exhibitionism. I'm thinking it's an act of contempt and aggression in many cases.

and also to add the more basic version, is the perspective of some want to show it off and presume the ladies will be impressed etc

I honestly don't know how I'd react if DH sent me a dick pic, it would be so out of character and not something we have ever done.
I do know plenty of (healthy relationship) couple who send each other saucy pics though - it's part of their relationship so good for them.

I think some men are just thick. They think because they would find unsolicited tit pics a turn on, it means women would find unsolicited dick pics a turn on.

I think most men would be delighted to receive an unsolicited fanny or boob pic, so naturally they assume women feel the same.

Agree, without consent it's an act of aggression, akin to flashing.

I love the reply 'why are you sending me a picture of a child's penis'.

I think more women are into it than you might imagine.

When OLD I've never encountered a dick pic that wasn't verbally offered first. Some I've said no, and others I've okayed. But chatting with men, lots have told me that women ask for them first.

I think context is everything. It certainly can be an act of sexual aggression but it can be other things too.

I'd assume he was having some kind of psychotic episode.

The only way DH would do this would be some sort of piss takey joke. We'd bktb have a giggle and move on.

When OLD I've never encountered a dick pic that wasn't verbally offered first. Some I've said no, and others I've okayed. But chatting with men, lots have told me that women ask for them first.

I think the only time I've asked first was when a friend contacted me for advice about glitter removal, because he'd unthinkingly picked up his daughter's glitter soap in the shower.

Most men do ask. I think the only unsolicited one I've had was actually yesterday when a different friend was worrying about have removed more than a trim. How on earth would I know if his new girlfriend will be put off by it or not? I pointed out different people have different preferences and I have no idea what other women like, because we've got better things to do than talk about dicks (this thread excepted) and we aren't the ones obsessed by penises. He sent me a picture anyway. If she doesn't like it, he has to wait for regrowth, because sticking hair back on would look ridiculous. But it seems he has me down as some sort of penis expert... Not updating my CV.

@EBearhug Why did you need to see your friend's dick first to be able to advise him on glitter removal?

The second guy just wanted to show you his dick.

Why did you need to see your friend's dick first to be able to advise him on glitter removal?

I didn't need to. I just wanted a laugh. I had seen it before without glitter. He had the option of saying no.

Ok now that makes sense. I just couldn't think of what reason you would need to see it first.

Does glitter make them any nicer to look at? 😂

Does glitter make them any nicer to look at?

Not particularly, but I did appreciate the opportunity to take the piss for quite a while.

it seems he has me down as some sort of penis expert... Not updating my CV.
😂

Agree. That's hilarious. I'd totally do that.

Which is why we should do just that.

I've come to find senders of unsolicited dick pics really don't appreciate receiving them. Obviously not my own being returned but a consenting male who gave permission to use his as an offering.

Most don't quite get the concept but some have been apologetic.

Not really. Some women enjoy it. Plus it's not women's responsibility to correct men's behaviour.

It would be better for men to understand that women are individuals and just because you've met one woman who likes something you should not assume all women like it. Especially when it comes to sex.

I'm saying for the sake of protecting other women, I would not want to let it become normalized. Of course we can't change male behaviour, but we can damn well punish it so that they fear said punishment.