Some people feel threatened by independent women?

[Sooooootired01]

What do you think?

I've noticed this, especially in some men. I guess they feel their masculinity is wrapped up in being the "big guy", the sole provider etc? But I also think it rings true for some women as well?

@Grenwyn But aren't women in "traditional" roles (assuming you mean not working) more likely to be financially dependent on a partner than women who do work?

@Sooooootired01 Potentially but not necessarily. SAHM often have nest eggs IME. I also don't think it particularly matters the varying degrees of independence, if you're ultimately still dependent on another.

For example, most households require 2 incomes to get by. Lets say that a working woman in this scenario would most likely not be able to pay the mortgage, bills, run a car, buy food, all on her own should they break up and vice versa. That makes both people dependent on one another.

Another example would be say a single mother who does work and can run the household, but receives UC to make this possible. That makes her dependent on benefits.

Really, the only truly financially independent women IMO are those earning large enough sums of money to not have to rely on top up benefits or the contributions of a partner.

This doesn't address the other types of independence though. For instance, a working woman may be extremely emotionally and mentally reliant on her DH where a SAHM might not.
A SAHM/housewife might be entirely financially dependant on her DH, but he may be entirely dependent on her support in the home and relationship to be happy and mentally healthy enough to enable him to work a high paying stressful job. The contributions are different but one isn't necessarily any lesser than the other.

One of the online definitions of independent is 'to not require the help of others.' Help comes in all forms not just monetary. Another example, a woman starts work at 8am and her partner at 10am. She would need his help/would depend on him to do the school run.

I think most of us are a lot more dependent than we realise and that is ok, humans are social animals who have had to rely on one another to survive. Being entirely independent sounds quite exhausting and potentially quite lonely.

I prefer strong independent women. They have their own home, car, career, family life, hobbies, set of friends, are solvent, and have direction.

Needy types are a turn off.

These things are not exclusive to women in employment. But I suppose it depends on your definition of what a strong independent woman is.

No one mentions employment or type of house. I've known women to be all of the above. Single mums and working part time, living in rented and also ultra professional women who earned six figures.

They all had something about them, including a softer side.

Wait, did the ’independent’ only mean money?

I think that’s a very small part of it.

I think independent women (or men) are emotionally strong, single without kids, make their own choices, good being on their own / alone, take responsability of themselves and their action, etc.

Personally I see an "independent" woman as working in some capacity (earning money). I don't think that necessarily has to be a hefty sum at all, but going out to work to earn.

I'll tell my mother who's always been very much in charge and now lives on a pension, that she's not independent.

@Sandwichblock I mean of working age.

@lookeelikee

You literally did.

'I prefer strong independent women. They have their own home, car, career,'

But I agree with your assessment of someone 'having something about them' being an important aspect of being a strong woman.

Agree with a lot of this.

Mostly men with small dicks & big ego's.

If a woman works but couldn't run the household on her wages alone, she is not financially independent.

Then a man who can't run his household without his wife isn't independent either?

Of course. I said that in one of my other comments. Both are dependent on one another, which is how most relationships operate in some capacity or other.

Single mum (split up when a few weeks pregnant)

I sadly find it’s more women than seem to struggle with this but not my friends (many are single mums)

im often told not to worry some great guy will come along soon 🙄 I don’t worry and if he does he can keen on walking or the assumption I am lonely, patronising comments I just haven’t met the one

i don’t get comments like that from men often they start mansplaining but I don’t think that has anything to do with me being single

@Sandwichblock No - he wouldn't be. A lot of men lack independence but I think a lot of that is because they are permitted to get away with far too much!

Very few people who live as a couple are independent then?

When I was married neither DH nor I could have funded our lifestyle alone, but we both knew that if the worst happened (which it did) we woukd be OK with some changes. The same with running the house, neither of us did it alone and I've had a lot to learn since he died, but I can do it, with a little help from my friends, but maybe that means I'm still not truly independent? Surely no one lives in a complete bubble, reliant on no one?

Very few people who live as a couple are independent then?

I think the nature of living with someone is that you develop dependence over time. This goes for heterosexual or same sex couples.
The degree of dependence varies though. I worked with a woman who went on holiday alone because her husband couldn't afford it. They had been married a while but obviously didn't share finances. Seems odd to me, but there it is.

@Sandwichblock

Very few people who live as a couple are independent then?
Exactly.

I don't think relying on your friends here and there after being widowed (sorry for your loss) would mean you aren't independent. If you are running your house all on your own without top ups that is definitely financial independence. Being able to do DIY or jobs your DH might have done is another form of independence. Being confident enough to go out for an evening meal alone etc.

I am a 'housewife' but I absolutely view myself as a strong, albeit currently financially dependent woman. If my DH was to die, there is the life insurance. Should we divorce, I would move into my own property that I solely own, get a job and continue to pay the mortgage on it. Without bragging, I am most likely in a better financial position than many women in employment.

@Grenwyn You're entirely financially dependent upon your husband though?
You make it sound like getting a job would be easy should you divorce but how long have you been out of paid employment for?

Very similar situation and feel exactly the same. If I had a pound for all the times I've heard "you just need to meet a nice man" like somehow my life is empty because I choose to be single! It's so very boring not to say insulting.

@Sooooootired01 Yes. My property is rented out which covers the mortgage on it, I have no real income except the difference between the mortgage repayments and the cost of the rent. I have been unemployed for nearly 10 years now and do think getting a job would be easy as I'd stack shelves if I had to, until something better suited turned up.
I don't have to work, I prefer not to work, I am much happier being a housewife than I was working, however, I am not 'work shy' so if the shit hit the fan and I had to work that is exactly what I would do.

I think you'll find getting a shelf stacking job as a middle aged (?) woman is not as easy as you think it will be.

@Sandwichblock I am 35 so not middle aged for a decade or so yet. The shelf stacking was just an example. My point is I would not be fussy, when needs must...