So depressing but so predictable

[pastypirate]

My local aldi has a part time security guard. Until a couple of weeks ago it's been a man. No one bothered him that I'd noticed beyond a quick hello and a smile as he used to work in the big supermarket and he is known to many where I live. It seemed like a normal level of interaction. Never did I see him being talked at by random men.

They have now employed a lady who I would guess is under 30 and quite glam. Dd2 who is all about hair and make up has been busy admiring her hair style and whatnot from a distance.

As you can imagine this lady is talked at at length by men one after the other most of the time. I do a big shop so I'm waiting in line for a cashier often and have time to observe. The droning at her was so bad once I thought about asking the cashier to intervene.
She gives the barest minimal responses to these random men without being rude. I feel for her I really do. There's so much more to put up with doing a job like that then just proving a woman is able.

This is so predictable isn't it. I've just come home and told dd1 who replied 'I bet they mansplain how to do her job as well' I bet they do. Sigh. It's just so depressing.

Well you don’t know her.
Maybe she likes it, many women like the attention from men.
I bet she’d be sad if no man found her attractive 🤷🏽‍♀️

I don’t understand why we have to pretend it’s so horrible.
You have kids, so I’m assuming you have/had a man, would you rather have no attention from men?

Wow.

That does sound awful, OP. I don't know what can reasonably be done about it, but I wish there was something.

I'd imagine she's a relatively tough cookie if she chose to be a security guard tbf. Maybe people are just more intimidated by the man.

She probably is, but being tough doesn't make it magically non-annoying, nor does it stop it interfering with your job.

I don't see a problem. Female security officer is "quite glam" and chats to customers. If the attention is unwanted all she needs to say is that she is working and doesn't want to be distracted by idle chat.

I hear you OP

the irritation factor must be very high for her.

Well, I'm sure if she doesn't like it she'll find another job. Bit odd to be fretting over a total stranger's career. But tbf it sounds like it's a two way chat. If she's 'a bit glam' maybe she likes the male attention.

What the hell with these comments - being “a bit glam” means you’re well up for male attention? Honestly. Pretty sure she wouldn’t be giving barest minimal responses if she was treating her job as a pick up option. You’re right OP - predictable. And depressing.

Do you think we've been targeted as it's on FWR? Such an insane thing to think that being a bit glam = wanting male attention. Maybe it's a time warp?

Given she'll be in uniform, it can only be hair or makeup? For many people, that's just daily life.

You've never heard of lesbians, have you?

JFC, I'm a straight woman and I couldn't GAF if men find me attractive! The only one I care about, already does! 🙄

You are a man. 😂

Your op is incredibly judgemental who are you to judge her?

Or anyone else

But it's the fact they're all over her. She shouldn't have to keep telling people to leave her alone.
I have a job out and about and it's the same, I'm quite glam but it's not for men. They just have to be seen and heard, and touch me in some form. It's not good.

Would you rather be hassled by strange men while trying to do your job, or have "no attention from men"?

Hmm. Let me think about that one...!

I don’t understand why we have to pretend it’s so horrible.

Indeed. How much mumsnet must one read before one understands women?

I hope she's waiting until the chance she can use a stun gun on one of them

How have I judged her in any way? I've described my observations.

I'm going to ask her next time she's there if the store is quiet if the job involves a lot of being talked at by cringey men. I might ask the cashier too since I've shopped there for years and know sone by name.

Why?

Leave the poor woman / women alone.

This is really not normal.

I think it's great that you are looking out for her and showing her solidarity OP.

I hate getting talked at by cringey men.

Yeah, I wouldn’t appreciate this if I were either the guard or the cashier. For one thing, I’d feel as though I had to carefully weigh my answer, so it wouldn’t get back to my bosses that I was complaining about some customers to another customer.

This has been an interesting thread.

Spoken like a man.

Yep we have to look out for each other. When I see young women getting hassled by older men I tell them to leave them alone/stop leering/pretend I'm someone they know etc. It's my duty as a confident older woman. Wish more had done it for me.