Non conformity and the stigma

[BettyGo]

If, like me, you are an unconventional woman (an adult human female) how stigmatised do you feel, or IRL risk, for daring to participate in activities and interests outside of usual social norms of your gender role/biological sex?

There are so many things I feel left out of, both near at home and in the wider world, that I feel I could experience of it weren't for societal expectation due to my gender/sex. I'd love to hear others' perspective on this to help me make sense of own experiences and way forward.

@LittleMissSunshiner No, I’m not outdoorsy at all! But I see your point.

Is this a stealth boast?
I don't think you are as unusual as you seem to think you are.

My Aunt hitch hiked to India in the early 70's. On her own.

Never been interested in casual sex, I prefer a relationship. Apart from that I've done a lot of things that are not conventional for a woman. I'm old so I met some opposition in my youth, I dont see that happening to the same extent now. Some of my friends also did unconventional stuff - like lone travel.

We used to call this “being a ladette” and it was a huge part of pop culture about 25 years ago. It wasn’t a big deal to engage in traditionally masculine behaviours, women had fought for decades to be allowed to do anything men could do. It makes me sad that women nowadays feel there is a stigma attached to non conformity. We have gone backwards.

I've lived on my own since I was 18, not interested in serious relationships, and never wanted children. I left school at 16 and worked my way up at one company over 15 years, from someone's assistant to third most senior person at the company (I've since left). The resentment and hostility I experienced from male colleagues was so relentless that with hindsight I'm amazed I put up with it for so long. Male colleagues would go out of their way to try and undermine me or catch me out - to the extent of doing things that were damaging to the whole company or even illegal. Any feedback from me (part of my job was internal compliance) was perceived as a personal attack - by men ten or twenty years older than me! I worked so hard to get where I am today, whereas most of them had just drifted into senior positions by default. Honestly it makes me so angry to know that regardless of what I do it will be dismissed simply because I'm a woman.

OP - I'm quite shocked by the dismissive responses to your original post. It's totally plausible that you've experienced negativity based on gender stereotypes. I have a very thick skin and am a very confident person, and due to my upbringing thankfully never experienced that kind of pressure - but it doesn't mean I'm not aware of it in others or in general. There are so many examples of social conditioning used to belittle girls and women. I used to get teased for reading at primary school ! Even if you personally don't care about the opinions of others, it is important to acknowledge and raise awareness of the many ways that women continue to be oppressed. People saying 'i have never experienced that' - so what? Doesn't mean it doesn't happen

I just do the sort of thing you talk about

When younger I ran a mixed football group - not enough women and I wanted to play

I will have no problem walking home in the dark later tonight

I will also set off in the hills by myself although I follow best practice and tell someone my expected route

I wouldn't drop into a pub for a few pints but that's more because I amnt that happy socialising

I do notice how female socialisation has affected me and there is one thing that I do where nerves are really hampering performance- but I push myself extra hard because it's fun - and to show it's normal for women to be in that group

I was once told by another woman that men wouldn't like the fact that I understood money. I had been talking in a very general way about the high interest rates on those Icelandic savings accounts around the time of the financial crash. And it was certainly true to say that her husband hated me. He was doing a PhD, but then so was I. And he couldn't stand it.

Thank you for the more recent replies to this thread, makes me hopeful that others understand and we can transcend gender conforms.

And no, to the one poster who questioned if I'm jealous. Really. Have you missed the whole purpose and reasoning behind my OP