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Feminism: chat

Do you work from home and look after kids at the same time

221 replies

Amy8 · 04/11/2023 11:30

I've posted about this on my socials today and many agreed with this article
I was mortified ! Does anyone else find it sexist ?

Do you work from home and look after kids at the same time
OP posts:
helpfulperson · 04/11/2023 11:32

From the number of women on here that say they do it that sounds about right. Interesting that we never hear about men WFH and looking after children

caringcarer · 04/11/2023 12:12

It's shocking. When you are working you should be working whether in an office or at home. You're being paid to do the job not look after your kids.

PuttingDownRoots · 04/11/2023 12:16

Are they making any distinction between age of children? A toddler is different to a 10yo.

Amy8 · 04/11/2023 12:16

caringcarer · 04/11/2023 12:12

It's shocking. When you are working you should be working whether in an office or at home. You're being paid to do the job not look after your kids.

What about the women who have to work and can't afford childcare ?

OP posts:
SoIRejoined · 04/11/2023 12:18

Yes, I think most people I know do this now during school holidays rather than use expensive childcare. If you have young children you can't possibly work while looking after them, but as they get older they can entertain themselves and you are just there to keep an eye and make lunch.

The article is v sexist I agree and I know as many men as women who do this. I work in a job that can't be done from home, but my DH generally covers inset days by WFH. I get back around 3 and take the kids out for a bit. It works fine but I wouldn't do it for more than a couple days or with v young kids.

Viewfrommyhouse · 04/11/2023 12:18

I wfh one day a week (Sunday) and ds is here all day. He's 8yo though, so doesn't really need much 'childcare'.

Maireas · 04/11/2023 12:18

Yes, it seems to be falling to the women, as per. So many threads on here where women are wfh and also looking after their children. It's bound to impact on work, so they'll have less chance of progression etc.

StColumbofNavron · 04/11/2023 12:19

I often have team members decline calls around school run time and one told me she would the call from her child’s swimming lesson the other week. Mostly, they are working hard and doing a good job so I let it slide but it isn’t really ok because it sets a precedent and means someone who is not performing will expect the same.

I remember the absolute grind and stress of running from work to nursery for mine and trying to fit in extras like swimming so I am willing to cut a bit of slack as long as the job is done.

Looking after or having your child around all day and doing ‘childcare’ even if you have a child who sits a builds Lego and never bothers you I would have a problem with. Even my teens come home and start talking to me, asking what there is to eat (they do go off and sort themselves) but what I mean is, even with an easy, non demanding child it isn’t easy or ok.

TryAgainWithFeeling · 04/11/2023 12:20

I occasionally have to, when a child is too ill for school/nursery (but apparently well enough to bounce off the walls at home).

My view is that with under 6s (approximately) it ranges from impossible to unsafe. One of mine is almost 6, and I can maybe persuade him to look after himself for 45 mins so I can do a meeting. That’s about the limit. Mostly I have to put things off and catch up in the evening. I wouldn’t ever plan to work from home with the kids around as they wouldn’t be parented properly, and my work won’t get done properly.

Friedgreentomatoparty · 04/11/2023 12:20

Yes I do, my boss thinks my toddler goes to nursery. The truth is I do a lot of work in the evenings to prepare and stay on schedule/ahead and then make sure I’m logged in on time and get everything done. If I have a meeting my friend comes round to look after dd.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 04/11/2023 12:22

On a Friday, I collect my child from school if it's not manic. I use my lunch break to do this. We get home, I provide a snack, drink, paper and pens and put the TV on then I do an hour or so of work.

I don't think any more than that is viable, really - something suffers, either the child or work.

Amy8 · 04/11/2023 12:40

Friedgreentomatoparty · 04/11/2023 12:20

Yes I do, my boss thinks my toddler goes to nursery. The truth is I do a lot of work in the evenings to prepare and stay on schedule/ahead and then make sure I’m logged in on time and get everything done. If I have a meeting my friend comes round to look after dd.

Go mamma. !

OP posts:
jannier · 04/11/2023 12:42

Amy8 · 04/11/2023 12:16

What about the women who have to work and can't afford childcare ?

What did they do before Covid? Tax free, benefits up to 85%, 3 year funding.
You can't care for an under 5 and do work at the same time both suffer

Alifestylechoice · 04/11/2023 12:44

Yes, on inset days and during holidays and sometimes after school. My child is 9 though so it’s not an issue

And I don’t give a fuck what morons and businesses think tbh

Alifestylechoice · 04/11/2023 12:44

@Friedgreentomatoparty well done you! Making the system work.

Scottishskifun · 04/11/2023 12:45

I do occasionally if my children are unwell and it's workable but I inform my manager and give them the choice I can either work or not. 9/10 they say they are happy for me to work, DH also wfh so we tag team meetings etc.

No way would I be able to work all day with them at home, they finish earlier on a Friday but I have done all my hours by the time that they do (and don't have a core hours policy so start at 7am)

DownRd · 04/11/2023 12:49

I did from when my son was 1 until he went to full time nursery at 3. My line manager was fully aware and in fact suggested it when I was going to quit after mat leave due to childcare issues. My job suited it though (university admin) as I wasn't involved in face to face interactions or meetings - I just needed to do certain tasks that although had certain deadlines, it didn't matter when I completed them as in it didn't need to be in set working hours.

Scottishskifun · 04/11/2023 12:49

jannier · 04/11/2023 12:42

What did they do before Covid? Tax free, benefits up to 85%, 3 year funding.
You can't care for an under 5 and do work at the same time both suffer

The Scottish govt thought otherwise during covid and gave us wonderful tips like work in the corner of a room so you can keep an eye on your toddler.......nurseries (and schools) were shut up here for a lot longer then England.

On the whole yes I agree though it's pretty challenging hence I only do it when they can't go to nursery because they are ill!

Ponderingwindow · 04/11/2023 12:53

I have wfh DD’s entire life. She is now a teenager. with the exception of covid lockdowns, we have always used childcare.

childcare is not optional.

it can be advantageous to both employer and employee to allow a bit of flexibility for the odd day here and there for minor illness or school dismissal. These are days the employee might otherwise have to miss work. A drop in efficiency for a single day can be offset with some evening or weekend time at many jobs or the employer might just accept the occasional slow day. It shouldn’t be every day though, or even frequent.

Wotchaz · 04/11/2023 12:54

I can think of very few jobs that are possible to do to an acceptable standard while caring for a preschooler.

In fact, I found out recently that someone (male) I line manage has been “working” from home while caring for his 2 year old a couple of days a week. I had already started the discussion with HR about performance management/extending probation because he just wasn’t producing the level or amount of work expected, and finding this out has explained why!

Alifestylechoice · 04/11/2023 12:55

childcare is not optional. it can be advantageous to both employer and employee to allow a bit of flexibility for the odd day here and there for minor illness or school dismissal. These are days the employee might otherwise have to miss work. A drop in efficiency for a single day can be offset with some evening or weekend time at many jobs or the employer might just accept the occasional slow day. It shouldn’t be every day though, or even frequent.

woah someone has swallowed the ‘business bullshit’. You do realise we’re all humans doing our best in the world don’t you? We’re not machines and shouldn’t be measured in terms of efficiency

110APiccadilly · 04/11/2023 12:57

No, though I do sometimes worry that people think I do - DH looks after them while I'm WFH, so we are all in the house together (generally - I do go into the office sometimes.)

I think it's ok with an older, sensible child, though probably not ideal for the child for any length of time. I've also known people to have agreements where they can work a bit in the evening, while the child's asleep - that also seems fine to me. But I can't imagine trying to actually work with a preschool aged child around.

The other day, I had to get my laptop out in the living room (not during work time, I was checking my availability to take time off) and both my children immediately came over, wanted to use the touch screen, wanted to type on it, wanted to touch the little lights - it was hard enough to just check which days I didn't have important meetings in the next few weeks!

disappearingfish · 04/11/2023 13:01

Childcare is not only expensive, it's not always available. There's lots of threads here about nurseries shutting up shop or childminders having a long waiting list.

We need decent, available, affordable childcare options for working parents before demonising them for trying to make a living.

Neriah · 04/11/2023 13:03

Amy8 · 04/11/2023 12:16

What about the women who have to work and can't afford childcare ?

The issue is the cost of childcare. If you are employed to work, that is what you should be doing, whether male or female. One of our directors was dismissed for looking after her grandchild whilst working from home - strictly against policy. You wouldn't take your child into the office - whilst you are working your home is your office. Some limited flexibility in exceptional circumstances, and with approval, ok. As a regular occurance - childcare, housework and the like are not what you get paid for.

PronounssheRa · 04/11/2023 13:04

It's forbidden in our policy to WFH and not use childcare, unless it's an emergency. The expectation is that you work in the same way as you would in an office. That is impossible if you trying to look after young children at the same time. If people ignore this it's quite likely the WFH option will be removed from everyone I do hugely doubt the figures quoted in that article though