Do you work from home and look after kids at the same time

[Amy8]

I've posted about this on my socials today and many agreed with this article
I was mortified ! Does anyone else find it sexist ?

@Amy8 you're free to run your own business however way you choose and if you decide to look after children at the same time then that is your decision, other employers will make their own choice. I'm also pretty sure you wouldn't be happy paying someone to look after their children and not give their job the attention required. And if you did, your business wouldn't last long. Such is life.

I manage managers, who then manage their own teams. My staff are a mixture of men AND women, earning sums of money that wouldn't be possible if half of the workforce were at home looking after toddlers whilst trying to do their jobs.

It's not about being dogmatic, or Tory, it would be lovely for staff to have that option, and for women to be able to make that balance work but it doesn't work for keeping an organisation running profitably. It is what it is.

To put into perspective, the staff salary costs are over £4 million pounds a MONTH.

Not sure what the exact figure of men vs men there is, but let's say it's around 50/50.

We agree that it's acceptable for staff to WFH whilst looking after little children.

Let's be generous and say that staff are the. working at 50% productivity - the UK profit level is going to fall substantially. What will happen? Redundancies. Lower salaries. Even stricter flexibilities.

Men vs Women**.

Then we flip the coin. We have children who have been stuck at home whilst their parents are ignoring them whilst trying to juggle their job and looking after them.
Sat in their bedroom or watching tv being bribed with chocolate whilst their parent attends an important meeting (I've been here). Told to be quiet, mummy or daddy is working. It's fine for a day here and there and at a push during half term - but not consistently over months/years.

Everyone loses.

Any time I'm WFH I have my 1yo with me, and sometimes my 3yo if it's not a nursery day. It's shit. On those days I'm a crap employee and a crap mum. But my salary would barely cover childcare, plus there are literally no spaces in the nurseries around here until the middle of next year. DD is on the waiting list for 3 different nurseries, which will wipe out my salary, but until then what am I supposed to do with her? I only work 2 days/week as band 3 NHS (i.e. a very low earner.) DH is a teacher so can't WFH or take AL. If I have to go in to the office, my mum or MIL take Annual Leave to watch DD. Probably 80% of their AL is spent providing me with childcare. It's really, really shit, the stress and guilt are overwhelming, I'm constantly afraid of being found out and losing my job, not being able to pay the mortgage, and losing our home. I can't see a way out of this situation for months.

Have you tried local childminders? Much cheaper.

I went down the childminder route and it worked well for me. You can check ofsted reports online too.

Because it was quite literally all my wages and we had managed while on the waiting list so much better than we expected to. I do 3.5 days a week sometimes 4 days. Dd has possible SEN too and we felt she might struggle in nursery and things were going so well we carried on. I feel like I get to be a sahm too which I love

@Friedgreentomatoparty what do you do? What happens if you get an unexpected call?

cannaecookrisotto

Exactly. This experiment happened during covid when schools and nursery's shut

Kids were miserable because they were being ignored/bored. Parents were miserable trying to juggle everything. The parents colleagues were pissed off having to take up the slack. Everyone lost. In particular women were set up to fail.

@Amy8 but how can you be giving your kids any sort of nurturing or attention while you're working.

I totally get why people need to do this with cost of living but you're bound to do a bad job of either parenting or working because you can't give your all to both!

It does depend on ages of kids though!

Small children under 10 then nah you're only going to end up with them plonked in front of the telly

But if a person has to work and ISN'T on UC but is on a low wage, then they don't get childcare paid for - as (I assume) YOU well know. As usual it's the squeezed middle who are left struggling. And it is a major struggle!

Apart from the headline the article is not sexist. Unless I am reading it wrongly it talks about working parents and doesn't specify sex.

As for whether its a problem it really depends on the age of the child. A toddler is quite different to a 10 year old.

In my work childcare is expected for baby's and young children but not so much or at all for older children.

Personally I haven't paid for childcare since my youngest was 8. Same applies to my DH as we both wfh and both have equal responsibility for our children

I don’t think this is a good situation for women.

its definitely not better for women than just using childcare.

It’s fine as dd is non verbal so unless she’s upset she’s very quiet

For scheduled meetings dh is there as he’s self employed so can be more flexible

I do think people take the piss more. Mine are a bit older, prepandemic if my kids were sick I took a days annual leave to care for them, we also had a policy for taking short notice unpaid leave for emergencies. Latterly I had a boss who was fine with me WFH and so for my secondary and upper primary kids I would WFH if they were poorly but school holidays they were at sports groups all day and I was at work. Better for them.

I'd say nobody should be trying to do work while looking after a preschool child but having a secondary school age child in the house while working is fine - mine have even been known to make lunch or bake for me while I'm working! Primary school age kids it depends on the child, it might be OK to have a poorly year 5 at home while working for the odd day but I think generally they are better in organised activities for at least some days a week during the holidays and younger primary kids are like preschoolers and benefit from organised childcare. DH is more of a skinflint than me and is quite happy to WFH over the summer while DS (year 6) spends the day on the computer. I don't think it's good for either of them.

What’s the earning cut for help towards childcare for working people?

All working parents on less than £100k combined get 30 free hours a week of 6 hours per day. Not enough to cover a working day but it certainly makes a difference.

Well this is what I was thinking.

the poster I quoted claiming help for childcare isn’t available for the squeezed middle when they actually mean 100k plus households.

100k plus household can definitely afford childcare for the children they chose to have

"I feel like I get to be a sahm too which I love"

But you aren't really in any true sense of the word - you are meant to be working.

Friend of mine looks after her DGCs 2 days a week. Son in Law has negotiated 3 days a week WFH. He switches his computer on - sends some emails & then he is playing on his phone until lunch when he replies to some more emails and then again until COP . I know he is not typical but WFH is not meant to justify a lifestyle or to save on childcare. I do think in this case he is taking the piss.

I do realise there are lots and lots of people who treat WFH as working from the office and are very very productive. DH used to and at his desk by 8.30 , couple of coffees / teas / lunch and then unless other meetings didn't stop until at least 6.30 - 7 . No way could he have looked after a young child whilst doing that.

Sorry if I sound harsh

I agree. We are both teachers, me Pt at the moment and we probably earn about £80k combined pre tax. Last year we had two children in nursery and this year one in nursery, one in wrap around. it is doable

Yep I work around school runs etc. single parent, no family at all, they are dead. Not enough money for childcare. My boss is completely aware, I smash my targets and deliver more than most of the team without children. I've been promoted twice in the past 12 months. I don't care what people think about my set up, I'm open and honest and my boss is very happy with me as an employee.

I’m able to do most of my days work unofficially 8pm -12 when dd is in bed so that when I’m logged on and working my actual hours I already have the majority of it done so it works out

Sacrificing my evenings is not really an issue as it means we are financially better off and so e people have evening jobs too so it doesn’t feel too overwhelming

@Friedgreentomatoparty - fair play - if you are putting in all your hours and it suits your employer. apologies, you seem to have come to a compromise which works for employer and you . All best