Male behaviour in swimming pools

[Greyandrare123]

I go to a private gym that has a pool. I swim about 3x a week.
The people swimming are diverse. Women, men, all ages (adults only after 5pm).
The same behaviour I see on the streets operates in the pool. Males ploughing down the informal lanes, splashing and not giving a toss who is in their way. Ive had 2 men directly collide into me because I didnt see them behind me and move.

And then there is the wrestling. Groups of younger men wrestling with each other, throwing each other in the air, headlocking, pushing each others heads under water, shadow boxing etc. Splashing wildly in the middle of the pool so everyone else has to move.

Ive yet to see women do the same.

Then manspreading in the steam room. Legs wide apart.

Is this familiar? The lifeguards seem oblivious.

Is this why it's overwhelmingly women who are into wild swimming? Because they've all been chased out of the pool??

(Interestingly, one of the only men on the local wild swimming group is CONSTANTLY posting selfies of himself swimming and gurning in the picturesque swimming spots- we're talking about several selfies per session, several times a week....🙄)

I don't experience rude swimmers but I do enjoy men scoffing and eye rolling as I waddle to the lane 30 odd weeks pregnant. Then watch their dismay as they try to race me but realise I'm still faster than them.

This is a really illuminating thread.
Public facilities ruined for women by men.

There's a termbfir the swimmy thing it's patriarchy duck, in contrast to patriarchy chicken.

I love to swim but never go because there's always just rude or pervy men making it unpleasant.
Oh to be rich and gave your own pool!

good!!

I used to windsurf a lot when I was younger, and very slim, and I used to love all the big macho men looking skeptically at me on the beach on a windy day and then changing their tune when they saw me hit the waves .

I'd always assumed that the women only sessions were for orthodox Jewish and Muslim women. I've been so lucky with my choice of pool!
That said I think it does also help that I'm a very strong swimmer. I feel like once I've shown I belong in the fast lane, the men have a certain level of respect?
I kept swimming practically until i gave birth, and i remember once (politely) overtaking a male swimmer (who had no issues and wasn't a dick about it. I was faster and didnt want to be nipping his toes) and keeping a consistent speed for about 20 minutes straight. His shocked face was priceless when I emerged from the pool with my massive bump.

I go to the council pool regularly, the most disgusting male behaviour is in the showers. A few times now when I am in the end shower (there's four in a row) a older man will choose the shower next to me (ie they didn't have to be next to me) and then proceed to put his hands down his trunks and touch his genitals to wash them. The second time I was so grossed out I told him how uncomfortable it made me and complained to the leisure centre. I don't know why they won't put up a notice asking people not to wash inside their swimming costumes. What the hell do they think they are doing touching their penises centimetres away from a woman in a swimming costume (and with my eyes shut so I feel so much more vulnerable). It's nearly enough to stop me going but it's the main way I exercise. Why did no one ask women whether they were comfortable showering with men before they designed unisex changing rooms? I bet it's because they know the inconvenient reason, women are not comfortable and would probably stop swimming because of it. I went to another swimming pool further away and the changing rooms were segregated. I was so much more relaxed in those changing rooms but the swimming pool wasn't as good.

Just last year a man was killed in Reading station for standing up to someone on a train. news.sky.com/story/man-who-killed-golf-greenkeeper-with-horseshoe-jailed-for-21-years-12846336
It is not something a man can just do without a worry of the consequences, unfortunately.

At my pool there are two shower cubicles with locking doors as well as the communal open ones. All changing rooms are cubicled. It's completely unisex but it seems to have thought of ways to safeguard. Sorry I'm turning this thread into a bit of 'my pool is the best pool.' Its the Welsh National Pool. I recommend.

My friend was killed standing up to someone who was assaulting a woman.

I still stand up to men. We all have to . Otherwise the violent abusive men control public space.

I am tired of looking around and realising all the men are looking the other way and it' s me (5ft tall, disabled) who will have to speak up.

People who don't speak up are culpable

Jesus, this thread is depressing. Almost glad i cant swim now.

Does this have the makings of the next mumsnet campaign?

I still stand up to men. We all have to . Otherwise the violent abusive men control public space
I'm so sorry for what happened to your friend, what a tragic loss of a decent person who was trying to do the right thing.
You are right we all have to stand up to the bad men ideally before they get out of control and become untouchable, bad men are and always have been a problem for every society.

I waas once teaching a booked by the school group in a marked off across the shallow end area when a large man, good swimmer, started to charge through doing lengths. "Excuse me, this area is for school swimming at the moment". Glare, continues charging. Lifeguards no use. When we ended the lesson I thought he would be delighted. But no.
We didn't have a male teacher to be in the men's changing room, but relied on looking through the staff area and calling on them if a problem, but we didn't see this one. Our Y4 boys were great. Big bloke not. I had a deputation of the boys. The man was walking round with his towel as a backdrop to his nakedness. The boys were very uncomfortable with it. Unfortunately, my senior didn't think it worth reporting and told me not to.
What is going on in these subhumans tiny minds?

I regularly swim with my friend in our local pool. I'm a very average swimmer but she used to compete for the county. She's a super fast and strong swimmer. She massively triggers men when we are in there. She normally slows down to my pace so that we can swim together but I feel bad and encourage her to swim at her normal pace. Well...this is whips up some of the men. They then proceed to 'compete' with her. They will swim close to her, she gets splashed, kicked. They never speak to her, it's like this unofficial competition is taking place. At first it bemused me, now it completely fucks me off.

I left a private gym because the pool was full of men in their 50s and 60s openly leering. They would also all stand in the shallow end chatting and not allow anyone to do lengths despite there being a jacuzzi they could have sat in for chatting. I didn’t have to pay an exit fee or continued membership at least as I explained why I was leaving.

Men cannot tolerate being beaten by a woman, if I was her I would revel in kicking all their arses, when I was into swimming any chance I got to beat a man I would go for it!

I literally experienced the same thing this morning. Only 2 of us in the lane and I had politely asked if he wanted to split the lane .
I am a fast club swimmer. He then blocked me at every turn and did butterfly. He did slowish backstroke but would then speed up when I overtook. He got out when another guy got in the pool and then (I think it was him, 99% sure) got changed and stood at the entrance of the changing room, glaring at me.
Bad vibe and I reported it to pool staff.
Young guy who got in was shocked when I told him what had happened.

Should have said he said did I know it was the fast lane. I was swimming faster than him.

What a stupid prick he is 🤣
Glaring at you like an angry five-year-old whose mummy won't let him win, I'm encouraged to hear that the younger guy had a better attitude ☝🏻😊

I've never had this kind of aggro from men in the swimming pool but then I'm not good enough to beat the fast men, maybe they get more aggressive?

Men 'racing' women, and ego, reminds me of the sub plot in the Alan Partridge book Nomad 😂

I have no idea!
Got a really bad vibe off him - he was so angry.
Duty Manager (male) was lovely and said he had form.

I recall a GP on here who said the reply should be that if a man says he has to sit legs wide apart because otherwise it was 'painful' that this was definitely not normal and he should see a doctor ASAP. And that they had said this themselves.
Much more likely than some random bloke posting in support of manspreading.
So do go see your doctor, @ThatOneBoop .

The best swimmer I've ever see in a public pool was a young girl, about 13 or 14. She was a total joy to watch, very fast and neat, carving through the water with beautiful strokes and minimal splashing.
She made mincemeat of all the 20 to 30 year-old Splatty McSplashfaces. They were very put out.
I had a chat with her after and she was trying for a place in one of the England teams. I hope she made it.

My pool has women only sessions

I totally agree

Yesterday, at my gym, one large very splashy man, took up approximately half the pool (its a small one)

There were there of us in the other half. Skillfully weaving and swimming lanes. Managing to avoid each other. Adjusting speed etc

Splashy bloke would do one length. Then sit at the end for a couple of minutes thereby blocking the entire wall of pool so nobody could swim into that half

Another time, i was swimming lengths and a man came in and jumped into my lane in front of me I had to literally stop or we would have collided

Like a PP, I really do not like unisex changing areas. I used to swim in London and all the women getting dressed afterwards (including me) were either going on to work, or going out, and most showered properly and then quickly did full hair and make up and it was fine. the changing rooms felt friendly and relaxed, if also very high speed and efficient. Recently I tried a pool near me in Herts and I hated the unisex changing rooms - men banging about shouting in groups inches away from you naked behind a part length cubicle door.

It's a complete time-drain as well because I realised there was no way I could prepare to go on and live my life from that changing room. The best you could do in the conditions was shower roughly in a swimming costume and hurriedly put on enough clothes to get home, probably in a car. So rather than shower properly, dress properly, including your "look" whatever it is that makes you feel fit to face the world, you have everyone slopping out in PJs and sliders and getting dressed again at home, which is a total waste of time and if we're going to be environmental about it, resource (showering twice, petrol instead of walking or bus, twice as far if they then go out again, more laundry with another set of clothes, etc). It's part of a general progression towards extracting more time and effort from the individual - the leisure centre kicks you straight out and you have to fill the gap yourself as best you can.

Or, which statistics show is a big problem for women, just not go.

Did anyone consult women on all these unisex facilities? I am sure some family men find them more convenient, and other men don't care, but did anyone actually consider just adding something to please that demographic rather than taking away what works for the majority of women?