Men, taking dominating yoga/groups.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

I've just come back from what should have been a chilled yoga class. Half way through, a man enters, announces he thought it started later, but he will join anyway. Rather than just quietly join in, he bangs his stuff about loudly. I found myself tutting. He settled down for a bit, but then during relaxation at the end, he has to competively exhale. No one else's breathing audible but his. I realise his entrance was a "A man has come, all hail the man, women" and I have seen it many times, being an old bird. But what do they actually get out of it? Surely it doesn't produce results? Or are they just satisfied when they've done it regardless? I've seen/experienced this in about every excercise class/reading group/whatever I've ever been in, and am a tad vexed about it tbh. In fact, if there is a womens only yoga class, I go for that. Any answers please? And anything I can actually do rather than passively agressively tut, or have a word with the tutor? Probably not. It's just soooo tiresome!

@Spanky123 "It's the attitude of misandry in these posts that's my issue, which if directed the other way, or to any other groups wouldnt be tolerated. Have a nice evening."
Awww! Hang on a mo, I'll go and get my violin.

I've had the same experience. My yoga teacher is male and awesome - best teacher ive ever had - and about 40% of the class are male. I reckon 90% of those 40% do the performative grunting and groaning. I don't get it. It's like they're trying to make out that they're working harder than anyone else, when actually if you're doing yoga "properly" according to my teacher you should be breathing deeply, gently and quietly, there shouldn't be any forced breaths. I do find it really annoying as it seems to add some kind of competitive element to the class when yoga should be completely uncompetitive and not about showing off. As much as I absolutely love the male teacher I wish the rest of the class were women.

I think many men have come from running, football or whatever and think they are meant to makes sounds etc - perhaps men only classes would help until they get what yoga is about

I think male/female separated classes would be an idea. Trouble is, in this area, there isn't enough men to make a class up, and the class I went to was fairly small, so they have all comers to make a living I suspect.

Dh does his at home now so troubles nobody! We went to a yoga class once in India years ago it was all women he checked it was ok he was there and all was fine except he fell fast asleep at the end bit. We all got up to leave and he was lying there on the floor blotto!

Sounds v annoying OP. We had a similar guy in the yoga class I used to go to, he would always sit right at the front, spend ages doing lots of athletic looking stretching and rolling about with plenty of noisy breathing. Would fart loudly several times during every class without fail. I had to find another class as found it hard to hold it together with him there tbh.

There are two men regularly in my class and none of them try to take over nor are they late. Sometimes people are slightly late and they arrive quietly. I'd have a word with the instructor if this is a regular occurrence, the man was very rude.

My local studio started a "broga" class for men but it didn't take off. I tend to go during the day when it's pretty much always women, but as someone who experienced domestic violence as a child and an adult I do sometimes get a trauma response to men too close to me, which negates the whole purpose of yoga as I'm then too tense. Same at the gym. I especially hate it when there's loads of free equipment but men choose the one next to you.

Sorry that happened @SierraSapphire . I hate having anyone in my space, but with men it's particularly difficult.

Dh does his at home now so troubles nobody!

He doesn’t have to stay at home though. Nobody wants to ban men from yoga.

They just want them to shut up and get on with it quietly and unobtrusively, like the rest of the class. And, yes, that does include not falling asleep.

Thanks Spongebob. Fortunately being self-employed and now with an adult DD I have a lot of control over when I can go to things so it's quieter.

You've all made me want to try yoga now.

I'm currently contemplating leaving my pilates class after 8 years of attendance due to one man who joined a few weeks ago. He always plonks himself opposite me in the hall and any 'hands and knees' type exercise, he turns himself around to face my bottom instead of the wall, like everyone else. At the end of the class he makes a beeline for me and says stuff like... 'oh look at you, all sweaty when I'm still dry... I'd have thought you'd be fitter having done the class for so many years'.

Its pilates tonight and I'm thinking I might cry off now. I fucking hate him and I feel my anxiety rising on Tuesday mornings, whereas before I used to look forward to it.

I'm sad and angry for you @thenightsky I'm kind of stuck with this class for now, but in a couple of months can change venue to same tutor to what is currently a man free zone. I assume there are no viable alternatives for you, Nightsky?

'Tis the little willy syndrome at play.

As someone who’s only ever done yoga at home (discovered Adrienne during lockdown and now do whatever I feel like) these stories are making me very glad I can do that and relax in my own personal space and privacy!

My yoga class too. Two regular male attendees. One of them barges to the front when we are waiting outside the studio then plonks his mat right in the middle of the front row leaving space for two each side. No problem you might think but the studio holds 18 so we really need to be in three rows of 6 with no one exactly in the middle. Ignores anyone saying could I just squeeze in here while he sits cross legged with his eyes shut so there has to be a row of 7 behind him. The other one comes in, says, ooh, I know it was fully booked but if anyone doesn't turn up can I have their space, which clearly makes the (female) instructor feel awkward because if a booked person turns up late expecting their space to be free she will have to turf him out. None of the women behave like this.

There are other venues with the same teacher, but on a different night. I've been with this Tuesday night group for 8 years and they are my friends now. I'm upset and angry that I have to think about moving. I'll go tonight and when he puts his head near my bottom, I'll turn around too and eyeball the bastard.

Thank dog I live near a small studio womens only gym.

I was there this morning at 6 for group training in pairs. Nice chat, move on quickly, get out. Training partner is supportive.

there’s also Pilates & yoga classes there. so much more able to just concentrate.

Every now & then a couple of bearded woke bros turn up & say they want to join. When told that it’s women only they smirk & say I am a woman. Owner now says she’s full.

I guess in most mixed gyms there is always a very obvious gender divide when it comes to who does what, the free weights area is always about 90% men, the studio classes are always 90% women with the cardio equipment a fairly balanced mix. After a rowing injury I was advised to take up yoga to help improve my core and range of movement and I signed up to the classes at my gym. Have to confess although advertised as mixed I did get a distinct feeling I was 'invading' a women only space. I did not grunt my way through the class, ogle, turn up late, try to 'dominate' things or plant myself at the front but there was a definite whiff of 'why are you here' vibe going on. I imagine it is similar to what women feel wandering around the weights section.

It's the attitude of misandry in these posts that's my issue, which if directed the other way, or to any other groups wouldnt be tolerated.

If you think it's misandry, report all the posts. Go on. Do it. Report them for hate speech. Because as most women here can testify, misogyny goes unremarked all the live long day.

Back to the thread: if you don't want to approach the teacher with "urgh, man" how about trying the "i found it very distracting with the latecomer, can you emphasise that latecomers shouldn't come in more than 5 minutes after the start and if they do they go to the back so as to cause less disruption?"

I used to have a lot of managers coming late to my meetings. All men. I used to lock the door when it started and just not let them in. It soon stopped when they realised i wasn't going to catch them up on the training/meeting topics.

I can't imagine many women who want to put their faces right next to a man's bum when he's exercising. Or many women who fart loudly in a class full of men.

I go to a variety of classes at my gym, including two Body Pump classes that are both led by female instructors. It's a 85/15 female to male split, but very noticeable that the only people in the class who do reps at different rhythms to the instructor, sometimes even totally different movements to the instructor, never bother to stick around for the cooldown and usually start packing up during the core section are the men. It comes off as disrespectful (and distracting for me as my usual spot is next to the mats rack and I hate having blokes people stepping around me to put their mat away while I'm still trying to do crunches).

I am glad someone mentioned the farting. I have, of course, heard women fart in classes, but not so performatively. The man in the last yoga class I tried was like a 3 yo showing off about his bowels.

If it was the first (or first few) time, then the women were probably wary, the reasons for which are demonstrated up thread. Keep going, be respectful and you'll be fine.

But when a new man joins yoga, I always try to avoid them for a while. I do yoga and swim and spent too much of my late teens and twenties feeling uncomfortable doing both because if being oggled at by men.

Unfortunately, until men actually understand that their behaviour does affect women ("but i was only looking...") then women will keep avoiding them and wanting to carve out their own space where they feel comfortable.