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Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

One night out in Liverpool, this is what I witnessed men do!

93 replies

DumpedByText · 07/02/2022 21:46

Five women on a weekend away in Liverpool, age range from 30's to early 50's. We went to the pubs, and I just despair at some men's behavior.

I watched a man buy some Jagerbombs off a girl who had her hands full with a tray of them. He grabbed her head and snogged her, and wouldn't let her go. She told him no and got away from him, I checked on her and told her to get him chucked out and she said 'I'm used to it' but thanks for checking on me, why the hell should she accept that when she's working.

One woman was dancing with a man, she was clearly drunk but seemed OK. He was all over her, grabbing her bottom, pushing his dick into her, then he grabbed her breast and pulled it out of her top. She was absolutely horrified and walked off.

A man kept approaching us and putting his arms around us, telling us to smile. We politely ignored him, then his mate came over, pulled his pants down and tried to twerk his bare arse on us. WTAF is wrong with them!

Everytime we go out as a group we see this shit happen, and I just despair at this still happening 😕

OP posts:
Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:29

@DolphinFC

I notice you've omitted fat and bald from your latest post.
Why are you attacking this woman, are you taking offence because you yourself are fat, old and balding?
Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:31

Can't believe the posters coming on this thread to defend lecherous disgusting men.

BrutusMcDogface · 13/02/2022 21:32

I seriously, SERIOUSLY hope this vile behaviour dies out as the kids we are raising now, become adults. I doubt it will, though. AngrySad

Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:35

@BrutusMcDogface

I seriously, SERIOUSLY hope this vile behaviour dies out as the kids we are raising now, become adults. I doubt it will, though. AngrySad
Whilst people keep defending the men that don't do anything from being tarred with the same brush, before condemning the perpetrators, nothing will ever change.
User135644 · 13/02/2022 21:36

DumpedByText The city attracts a lot of stag night types at the weekend, a lot of the laddism in the tourist trap bars (i.e. Mathew Street/Concert Square) tends to arise as a result.

DolphinFC · 13/02/2022 21:36

I'm not attacking her. I'm making the point that whether the men were bald and fat is of no relevance. Surely you agree? This behaviour is vile irrespective of their attractiveness.

Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:37

@DolphinFC

I'm not attacking her. I'm making the point that whether the men were bald and fat is of no relevance. Surely you agree? This behaviour is vile irrespective of their attractiveness.
Yeah you are attacking her. No sympathy for the fact she was assaulted, just defence for the nasty fat bustard.
Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:38

Or bastard!

Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:39

And she can call her assaulter wtf she likes ffs

User135644 · 13/02/2022 21:40

@Iluvfriends

I'm spending a few days in Liverpool next week. Is Matthew Street a place to avoid, is that where the Cavern Club is. I wouldn't be confortable in a place described by the op. I'm fairly confident i won't get male attention myself as i'm not young nor good looking but would hate to see this happen to any female. I'm not very outspoken but this is one situation where i would be.
Mathew Street is fine (1 or 2 places aside) but on a Saturday night it gets particularly lively.
DolphinFC · 13/02/2022 21:47

Where have I defended him?

Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:52

Oh do fuck off, you accused her of not getting upset about being assaulted if he wasn't old and fat. Don't act the innocent. You're a teacher ffs and yet you seem to like putting women down a lot in your comments. Nasty git!

tiredanddangerous · 13/02/2022 21:53

I often think anyone who is brave enough to open a chain of women only pubs/clubs would make a fortune.

Vile behaviour and as a mother to two daughters it really makes me fearful.

Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:55

DolphinFC

greasyshoes

I agree Op, I went out recently and a man 20 years older than me, fat and balding decided to keep putting his arms around me!

I don't think him being fat or balding is relevant to his behaviour. The same behaviour wouldn't be acceptable if he was young and handsome.

It's totally relevant to her otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned it.

If he hadn't been fat and balding it wouldn't have been an issue.

Marmelace · 13/02/2022 21:59

@DolphinFC

I notice you've omitted fat and bald from your latest post.
And this snide remark doesn't do you any favours either!
DolphinFC · 13/02/2022 22:00

Calm down. No need to swear at me.

I think the man that did this was vile. I am fully sympathetic to her.

I just asked her to explain why mentioning he was fat and bald was relevant.

Not sure hunting through my previous posts was necessary.

I think I'll bow out. If views can't be challenged then debate is impossible.

Marmelace · 13/02/2022 22:03

@DolphinFC

Calm down. No need to swear at me.

I think the man that did this was vile. I am fully sympathetic to her.

I just asked her to explain why mentioning he was fat and bald was relevant.

Not sure hunting through my previous posts was necessary.

I think I'll bow out. If views can't be challenged then debate is impossible.

I will swear if I fucking well like! Bye bye Mr controlling misogynist, sweet dreams.
EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 13/02/2022 22:23

I don't think him being fat or balding is relevant to his behaviour.

Hmm. I've been thinking about this and there is an added dimension of an abuse of power dynamic someone who is so much older and the age gap in combination with those details will conjure up a mind's eye view of a certain type of middle-aged Jack the Lad figure to a number of women. Someone who is intentionally repulsive and revels in it when forcing his unwanted attentions on a young woman and deriving a frisson from it because he's banking on it having no consequences.

It's quite a common trope in films, one way or another.

I understand why the additional details were included.

TooManyPJs · 13/02/2022 22:32

You need to pick your venues for nights out a bit better. This is the sort of shit that goes on in the "mainstream" places. You know the ones on the streets that have to have a police presence every Friday and Saturday night.

I've been to those places a few times and they are horrific. No idea why anyone would want to frequent them regularly when there are so many better places to be going where this shit doesn't happen

lovelychops · 13/02/2022 22:33

@Iluvfriends

I'm spending a few days in Liverpool next week. Is Matthew Street a place to avoid, is that where the Cavern Club is. I wouldn't be confortable in a place described by the op. I'm fairly confident i won't get male attention myself as i'm not young nor good looking but would hate to see this happen to any female. I'm not very outspoken but this is one situation where i would be.
There are so many lovely places in Liverpool but Matthew Street isn't really one of them. Would happily recommend other places. (Sorry for thread derail).
Flickflak · 13/02/2022 22:36

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

BOOTS52 · 13/02/2022 22:38

No matter where you go in the world there are men who do this and men who do not. As for the poster who thinks this would not happen in higher priced 'establishments'. it would and does happen everywhere. Sometimes people with the most money are the worst and feel super entitled to think they can do as they please. I don't go to bars anymore as just could not be arsed but when I was younger do not think it was the way it is now. We all had great craic together but we all looked out for each other and the lads would look after us. Think a lot of the way things are now is extreme porn use and use of cocaine so normalized now. Even here in Ireland past few months been so many women attacked physically and sexually and one school girl a teenager in the middle of the day walking across the town square by two grown men and lucky for her few teenage boys stepped in to help her. Just think there is a sense of entitlement and aggression towards women now, has always been violence but that was usually behind closed doors. Now is out of control but it's not all men but I despair at the way things are.

Rummikub · 13/02/2022 22:59

I knew it’d be Mathew Street

But isn’t the point that there shouldn’t be no go areas for women.

It’s been bad for years and it needs to sorted out by the bars/ police.

Campfirewood · 13/02/2022 23:36

Hey @DolphinFC
The specific scenario I was talking about I was very young, BMI about 21 and averagely attractive (I’m not a super model).
I had a twice divorced man, bmi approx 40-50 with his arms around me telling me to go on a date with him (he was in his 50s and older then me Dad). So probably 30 years older than me and all that comes with.
His breath smelt and I felt very vulnerable. I told him 3-4 times to get out of my personal space and just talk to me normally and he didn’t get it.
My mate tried as well, let’s talk without you touching her and he didn’t get it.
But I’m not allowed to feel this way. Because men who are 20 years older than me should be allowed to Letch and I should be ok with that.
ANY age it is not ok.
It feels WORSE when it’s a man of my dads age. I guess I feel they should know better

itsjustnotok · 13/02/2022 23:42

DD is 12 and has already had to deal with lads of her age behaving poorly. Texting, following her. His parents shrugged it off as boys being boys. These boys grow up believing this is ok. So maybe if we educate better and stop excusing behaviour then we might see a better end result? I know this won’t be the case all the time but I see a lot of younger lads like this on the train coming home from work and tbh it’s frightening.