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Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

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Original poster

One night out in Liverpool, this is what I witnessed men do!

93 replies

DumpedByText · 07/02/2022 21:46

Five women on a weekend away in Liverpool, age range from 30's to early 50's. We went to the pubs, and I just despair at some men's behavior.

I watched a man buy some Jagerbombs off a girl who had her hands full with a tray of them. He grabbed her head and snogged her, and wouldn't let her go. She told him no and got away from him, I checked on her and told her to get him chucked out and she said 'I'm used to it' but thanks for checking on me, why the hell should she accept that when she's working.

One woman was dancing with a man, she was clearly drunk but seemed OK. He was all over her, grabbing her bottom, pushing his dick into her, then he grabbed her breast and pulled it out of her top. She was absolutely horrified and walked off.

A man kept approaching us and putting his arms around us, telling us to smile. We politely ignored him, then his mate came over, pulled his pants down and tried to twerk his bare arse on us. WTAF is wrong with them!

Everytime we go out as a group we see this shit happen, and I just despair at this still happening 😕

OP posts:

Hungry625f · 08/02/2022 13:21

I just knew it was Matthew St (or conny sq) by the description. Absolutely vile area of the city. I don't know a single local who would ever dare go there. It really is the pits. No one should be subjected to that behaviour.

There are much nicer places to drink in Liverpool OP!

Hestyo · 08/02/2022 13:28

I don't really go out out anymore because of this. Men lying on the floor so they can look up your dress or rubbing their penis against you when you're queueing for drinks or grabbing your arse as you walk past.
One time, my friends and I were sitting at a table and this guy came over and started thrusting his groin at me. And a bouncer came over, grabbed him and threw him out. That stunned me because I'd never seen a man actually told before in no uncertain terms that that behaviour was unacceptable. Usually other men just ignored it or laughed. Sad really.

MissyB1 · 08/02/2022 13:36

It can happen in any town or city. I know the places it could happen in our town so I avoid them like the plague. Luckily we have some lovely restaurants and bars where women are safe.
But bloody hell why should we have to avoid certain places? Why are there so many scummy little men around? Did their parents drag them up? It makes me sick 😡

Crystalvas · 08/02/2022 13:55

@Veryverysadandold

Men are disgusting. That is all.

Don’t sterotype. Not all men act like this. Just a few arseholes.

LaBellina · 08/02/2022 14:01

A few arseholes? A few too many I would say. If men shouldn’t be stereotyped like that then they better stop confirming the stereotype.

Original poster

DumpedByText · 08/02/2022 14:24

@Hungry625f

There are much nicer places to drink in Liverpool OP!

@Hungry625f we know there is better areas, we're quite familiar with the city. We wanted a dance and a laugh, guaranteed in Mathew Street. Overall we had a great time and nothing was really aimed at me, just what I observed.

I've got a 14 year old DD and I want her to feel safe when she finally ventures out, but I wonder if she ever will.

OP posts:

Crystalvas · 08/02/2022 20:03

@LaBellina

A few arseholes? A few too many I would say. If men shouldn’t be stereotyped like that then they better stop confirming the stereotype.

You appear to be talking about all men which isn’t right as there are some decent ones out there.

DolphinFC · 09/02/2022 18:41

@Veryverysadandold

Men are disgusting. That is all.

A valid response to this post (and others on this thread) would be to point out that not ALL men are like this.

If you don't like people pointing this out then don't make all men are like this comments: they are stupid and inaccurate and invite a NAMALT reply.

Change123today · 09/02/2022 18:50

My daughter went to a nightclub (south) she came home her exact words where men are awful :( she said the amount of times her bum was grabbed, thought it was ok to put their hands around her waist. They would ask her if she has a boyfriend she would say yes and they just got worse! She said she you couldn’t even just have a chat as If you gave them a second an arm would be around your waist :(
What’s changed? There has always been idiots but not in such a high number. Her group of friends that are boys aren’t like this a lovely group of lads and one of them had to recently stop a women being raped outside a pub.
So I do have hope they not all like this! But definitely feels like on the increase!

GreenLunchBox · 09/02/2022 18:56

Bloody hell, where did you go?Blackpool? Sounds like a hellhole. I've never seen behaviour like that in years of going out

Iluvfriends · 09/02/2022 19:03

I'm spending a few days in Liverpool next week.
Is Matthew Street a place to avoid, is that where the Cavern Club is.
I wouldn't be confortable in a place described by the op. I'm fairly confident i won't get male attention myself as i'm not young nor good looking but would hate to see this happen to any female.
I'm not very outspoken but this is one situation where i would be.

ThatsANameChanger · 09/02/2022 19:07

I think a step better than teaching our sons to accept "no", would be to teach our sons that you never grab, kiss, grope, hump, rape, assault, or generally pester women in the first place. Don't try your luck but be willing to accept when someone says no to your groping. Talk to women like human beings, and find out first if they're interested, rather than forcing yourself on them but being oh so decent enough to stop if they say no.

DolphinFC · 09/02/2022 19:38

There's a thread on AIBU about Megan Thee Stallion. The general consensus was that the phrase 'beat up the pussy' to mean have sex was perfectly acceptable to the extent that many young women use it.

If even women are not just OK with this but use it there arecreal problems with our youth.

LaBellina · 10/02/2022 04:33

LaBellina
A few arseholes? A few too many I would say. If men shouldn’t be stereotyped like that then they better stop confirming the stereotype.
You appear to be talking about all men which isn’t right as there are some decent ones out there.

No. Not talking about all men. A few too many is literally what I wrote. Don’t twist my words.

greasyshoes · 10/02/2022 21:43

I agree Op, I went out recently and a man 20 years older than me, fat and balding decided to keep putting his arms around me!

I don't think him being fat or balding is relevant to his behaviour. The same behaviour wouldn't be acceptable if he was young and handsome.

Thisfridaysadhdaccount · 11/02/2022 10:41

This is really disgusting behaviour.

But tbh I go out all the time and never see behaviour this extreme? Won't be going to Matthew Street!

M1212 · 11/02/2022 11:51

Haven't been to Matthew Street for years; too rowdy for me, don't like that kind of thing.
Lots of other lovely places to go to Liverpool though on a night out.

DearlyBeloathed · 11/02/2022 12:18

@greasyshoes

I agree Op, I went out recently and a man 20 years older than me, fat and balding decided to keep putting his arms around me!

I don't think him being fat or balding is relevant to his behaviour. The same behaviour wouldn't be acceptable if he was young and handsome.

Spot on.

Crystalvas · 11/02/2022 17:43

@LaBellina

A few arseholes? A few too many I would say. If men shouldn’t be stereotyped like that then they better stop confirming the stereotype.

Not all men are like that. There are actually men who condone that type of behaviour. Negativity against all men is’t helpful. After all some of us on here would’t be in relatioships with them otherwise.

DolphinFC · 12/02/2022 17:09

@greasyshoes

I agree Op, I went out recently and a man 20 years older than me, fat and balding decided to keep putting his arms around me!

I don't think him being fat or balding is relevant to his behaviour. The same behaviour wouldn't be acceptable if he was young and handsome.

It's totally relevant to her otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned it.

If he hadn't been fat and balding it wouldn't have been an issue.

greasyshoes · 12/02/2022 20:17

It's totally relevant to her otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned it.

If he hadn't been fat and balding it wouldn't have been an issue.

Sorry, how is it not an issue for someone to keep wrapping their arms around someone else, when it's not wanted?

It doesn't matter whether someone is fat, young, balding, handsome, or whatever. He tried to put his arms around her, and she said no. That's what the issue was, so him being fat and balding is irrelevant. As I already explained in my previous comment, the same behaviour doesn't magically become acceptable if the man is handsome.

DolphinFC · 12/02/2022 20:27

It matters to Campfirewood otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned it.

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 13/02/2022 16:14

Everytime we go out as a group we see this shit happen, and I just despair at this still happening

Agreed. It's never acceptable that male behaviour like this is left up to women to deal with and not the man's companions who plausibly valorise him for such behaviour.

NB, I was waiting to see how long it would take the I've never seen that/why didn't you go somewhere else/NAMALTs to turn up. I have to say, it was longer than I thought.

Campfirewood · 13/02/2022 16:36

It was the fact he thought I would be interested. That was the point.
A younger man, who was similarly attractive to me? Not acceptable. I’d still be creeped out.
But the audacity to think I’m interested in someone 20 years old, It’s just ludicrous.
Women don’t do that.

So never acceptable behaviour, but with an added layer of unbelievable arrogance and entitlement.

DolphinFC · 13/02/2022 21:23

I notice you've omitted fat and bald from your latest post.

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