Men's issues never get comments like 'but women suffer too'

[Keke94LND]

Anyone else noticed this?

There are some certain issues that disproportionately affect men, men's mental health and suicide is a big issue and it should be treated as such BUT, and as an example, I was watching clips of loose women on YouTube (god knows why), and they were talking about women and girls safety and the comments were basically 'the streets are dangerous for everybody' 'we shouldn't be demonising men and boys' 'men are at risk too', the next clip I watched was titled 'should we speak to our sons about mental health' and the topic was about male mental health specifically, not once did any of the loose women say anything like 'but what about women and girls, they suffer with mental health and suicide too'.

It's just a really interesting observation I think, and that's just one example, but it's pretty much always the case, we get to discuss men's issues and men's issues only, but when it's women's issues, we have to mention men too.

I do fund the 'what about men' comments incredibly irritating but then I think it might be prominently because men's issues aren't really talked about or discussed so they latch on to discussing women's issues.

They could support any one of the charities for men that exist. Donate/ volunteer.

They could start threads on male dominated chat sites.

They could... Do lots of things really.

IME they're not actually interested though.

Conversations go-

Women-
sexual assaults against women and girls- across the board from flashing to rape - system failing us what can be done

Man or woman keen on men's rights-
Men are raped too (they don't usually mention boys now I think of it)

W-
Yes of course. That's terrible. Most victims women and girls improvements will help everyone. We're focusing on women because

M- Why are you ignoring male victims that's sexist and wrong. Nothing exists to help men loads for women. That's not fair.

W- What would you like to see done to help men? Here's a charity you can look into they work in this area.

M-
No answer to that question. At this point, or after posting sexist etc for a bit longer. 9 times out of 10. You're all manhaters/ misandrists. You only care about yourselves. And possibly you're all ugly/ bitter/ have no friends. And flounce!

And that's that. Unless they are back with new name. Then the same all over again.

I don't go on male dominated chat boards in fact I'm only on here and sometimes read BTL. And Twitter a bit but not much.

If I go onto pistonheads (the only one I've heard of!) and find posts about men's issues will I see women or men who are into women's issues. Posting and doing the reverse? I bet it's not a thing. How many women would go onto a conversation about eg sports coaches raping boys. And say it's worse for us, this is sexist etc etc? Maybe once in a blue moon? I mean it would be insensitive, crass and just incomprehensibly horrible.

victimfocusblog.com/2018/01/03/stop-asking-me-what-about-men/
Jessica Taylors blog is illuminating

I was stopped in a shopping centre yesterday by a chugger about prostate cancer. I asked why he had approached me as I would not suffer from it and he said middle aged women (like me) tend to be more interested than men are!

[quote Colin56]@Keke94LND and your point is?[/quote]
Errrrm clearly my point is that one topic is specifically about men's issues and stays that way and the other topic is specifically about women's issues, but we still have to talk about men. Try using that organ that is inside your head.

@CheeseMmmm

They could support any one of the charities for men that exist. Donate/ volunteer.

They could start threads on male dominated chat sites.

They could... Do lots of things really.

IME they're not actually interested though.

Conversations go-

Women-
sexual assaults against women and girls- across the board from flashing to rape - system failing us what can be done

Man or woman keen on men's rights-
Men are raped too (they don't usually mention boys now I think of it)

W-
Yes of course. That's terrible. Most victims women and girls improvements will help everyone. We're focusing on women because

M- Why are you ignoring male victims that's sexist and wrong. Nothing exists to help men loads for women. That's not fair.

W- What would you like to see done to help men? Here's a charity you can look into they work in this area.

M-
No answer to that question. At this point, or after posting sexist etc for a bit longer. 9 times out of 10. You're all manhaters/ misandrists. You only care about yourselves. And possibly you're all ugly/ bitter/ have no friends. And flounce!

And that's that. Unless they are back with new name. Then the same all over again.

It's like when a man is murdered you get men commenting "where are the protests for this man" .... well, why don't you go out and start a protest then? Men as a class have always been given everything on a silver plate so they just expect women to do it all for them.

@CheeseMmmm

The thing that gets up my nose is those who come into MN obv predominantly female and esp FWR to say WATM derail etc.

If you ask what they think should be done about whatever they've said women should be focusing on instead and if they don't they're horrible misandrists.

There's never an answer.

Sometimes I have pointed to charities around the thing they could support etc but they always ignore them

My conclusion is that they don't really care about the thing enough to do anything or think about what to do. And are here mainly only to tell women off.

I would not dream of going into a male dominated board and joining a conversation about male suicide or low achievement of some groups of boys in education or men and boys who are victims of grooming/ sexual assault etc and saying what about women. I mean seriously. Who does that.

Yet we sit here and engage until they say feminists are man haters you're awful and stomp off.

Yeah, it's like on international women's day, you always get men saying 'when is international mens day!?' And I always tell them 'it's in November' and then they're like 'erm .. oh' haha, but if they actually cared about men's day.. they would know that it exists and when it is, but they don't actually care, they only care when it's women's day. They're like children

@VillKrill

This is horribly true. I remember being in the throes of awful PND and reading all these articles about how “men/fathers get postnatal depression too”. We can’t even have that to ourselves!

I met a woman at a toddler group who told us she was exhausted because her DH had PND. Apparently she had been advised to allow him some space to get used to the new way of life, and to allow him plenty of rest. So she was doing all the child care/drop offs for a 6 month old and a 5 year old, and all the housework/cooking etc, and working full time hours. She had to walk the DC to the childminder/nursey on her work days so that her DH could have the family car to get to work/hobbies- often whilst he stayed in bed. He could not be asked to look after the DC and she had returned to work earlier than planned as he was spending money they could ill afford on weekends away/hobbies etc to help him cope. Quite a few women in the group shared their experiences of PND and how debilitating it was- urging her to keep helping him. It made me feel quite uncomfortable. I could completely understand that he probably had depression but it cannot have been the same as PND experienced by women who have been through all the hormonal issues of pregnancy and child birth. And also, the women I know who have suffered with PND were encouraged to spend time with their families, not disappear with friends every weekend. It seemed to me that this woman was being encouraged to 'be kind' and accept that her DH had a medical issue usually associated with women, but her DH was not expected to continue as most women with that condition are.

Adam that was the one I was thinking of! Thank you.

The comments! They just can't help themselves can they 🙄

Men as a class have always been given everything on a silver plate so they just expect women to do it all for them.

Much as I think there is still some inequality in our society, this comment is a bit daft. The main thing they don't do is all the kids/housework stuff but this is usually because they're the main earner/work full time. But certainly we're much more likely than men to be people of leisure.

Men literally built the world we live in. The roads, the cards, the buildings, etc.

Just to check, we're only talking UK here? England? All countries in the UK?

Obv loads of difference at the moment and historically depending on where.

Men exclude women from the workplace, then want to take all the credit and pretend women haven't made a contribution to building society. You can't make it up!

All of those 'productive' men were facilitated by the unpaid labour of women.

Men literally built the world we live in. The roads, the cards, the buildings, etc.

Have you been hanging around on MRA sites?

Ooh that's blunt!

I like it 👍

Well. Its a bit of an MRA meme isn't it?

I'd like to see how long men would last in a world with no women and vice versa. I suspect women would last out a lot longer (as long as freezers still worked ).

Men literally built the world we live in. The roads, the cards, the buildings, etc

Oh behave…l

It's not a competition as to who did what.

It's a great statement though!

Getting into a back and forth will likely be... Time consuming!

It's an interesting point on the Feminism board. Given that it's pretty fair to say that the workplace and everything around it was built by men for men. Women have to try to fit in with it.

So it's a feminist point which I don't think was what was intended!

Of course everything in societies everywhere was built by men for men. Because they ran everything. And that suits them - if it didn't why would the Taliban tell women not to work pretty much first thing when they took Afghanistan recently.

Things that challenge male dominance. Women and girls having-

Ability to control their fertility
Being educated
Being able to choose their partners
Being protected from abuse of various types
Being able to have some level of financial independence
Having a voice (vote, be in parliament etc)
Having a position in society above chattel
More?

The idea that men built everything. Well... Hmm. Problem is they're pretty good at destroying things too.

Would it be any better if it had always been women in charge? Different probably. But less power hungry, expansionist, violent, destructive? This is often suggested. I mean we can't know. I suspect that it wouldn't be different in that respect. We are animals, the same species, same drives. I think we're destructive full stop. And yes, very inventive. Interesting area.

What's this thread again?

Oh yes MRAs coming on MN including fwr and derailing

Literally every time somebody mentions male suicide on here somebody says "yes but women attempt it more."

Haha, I have to admit this one is true.

@AdamRyan

Well. Its a bit of an MRA meme isn't it?

I'd like to see how long men would last in a world with no women and vice versa. I suspect women would last out a lot longer (as long as freezers still worked ).

Not sure about this. Obv men are more likely to start fighting between themselves but they also make up.the majority of scientists which would be a huge advantage in regard to creating testtube babies/birth programs etc.

@Journeyofthedragons

Literally every time somebody mentions male suicide on here somebody says "yes but women attempt it more."

Haha, I have to admit this one is true.

Yes this is spot on

However, its usually in response to a thread talking about womens issues and mental health which gets a poster saying ‘what about the men, they suffer too they kill themselves more than women kill themselves’

Sooooo…..

Not sure about this. Obv men are more likely to start fighting between themselves but they also make up.the majority of scientists which would be a huge advantage in regard to creating testtube babies/birth programs etc.

You could argue that without the patriarchy and oppression that comes with men dominating these fields, women would have the freedom to advance in these areas ourselves alas, we will never know.

I don't think men are more likely to start fighting against themselves.

It's just stereotype after stereotype.

Men in general get on perfectly well. I mean argue etc sure. I'm assuming fighting was meant as in actual fights?

Most fights are caused by booze. Tribalism eg football and then only a tiny minority are just there for a ruck.

Or was it war being referred to?

Also. How do you make a baby with no woman? You know that's not a thing that can be done, right? Also questions about if grown in a bag, what that could mean from a brain development/ psychological pov.