havew left baby with my mu i cannot cope with him

[nickytwotimes]

he has reflux, silent.
dh on way home, but he is impossible to settle and awful to feed (bfed).
I cannot cope anymore with him.

please speak to me

oh you poor thing.. Is he constantly crying? It is impossible to deal with this alone.

how old is he?
how far away is your DH and how far aways is your mum and the baby?
has your mum got some formula/expressed milk?
he'll be fine with your mum for a bit, run yourself a bath, go and have a nap, pour a gin and tonic, whatever calms you.

You poor thing. My friend has a 4 week old with reflux and she is finding it hard too. She said she feels like running away.

Can you relax a bit while your mum has the baby?

Have you talked to a GP or HV?

have you spoken to your HV? What is your mum doing to help, apart from having him for a bit?

she lives 4 doors away
no epressed milk
he is so uncomfortable almost all the time and he is ehausted but cannot sleep.
i can't stand it anymore

I know nothing of your situation but sounds like sleep would be a good first step. If you can, go straight to bed now and at least rest if you can't drop off.

My DD was difficult to feed and couldn't sleep apart from on us or in the sling and 6 weeks was a really bad point. You have all my sympathy.

If you want to carry on BF - and well done for getting so far - express to keep up your supply if your Mum has your DS for more than about 4-5 hours.

Sleep!

lots of people are helping but i cannot take it anymore

Sleep! Things will look soooo different when you've had a rest. Ime nothing messes with your mental health faster than lack of sleep.

is your mum able to help more regularly? as she is so close.
did she realise things had gotten so hard?
relax for a while, when your dh gets home you'll have to think about milk if your mum's going to have him for a number of hours.

Agree - you must try and get some sleep while you can - sleep deprivation is guaranteed to push anyone over the edge if it goes on long enough.

how old is the baby?

absolutely agree on the sleep, it's possible to cope with most things so long as you've had a decent amount of sleep

Nicky I posted on your other thread re reflux but I do think you need to speak to the HV or doctor ASAP. They'll be able to try other medicines with your little one.
You need to sleep so can your DH take a night shift if you express or use formula, you can mix both and your little one will be fine.

Try and take some time out to rest and recuperate.

Sympathy from me too - a lot of us have been where you are, or in similar situations anyway, and know exactly how you feel. It is really, really hard. Hopefully you are having a rest now xx even if you don't sleep don't worry, just have a rest.

Well done for taking the space you need!! You've done the right thing!! Your baby will be safe with your Mum.

Reflux is hell and really hard to deal with. This does not make you a bad Mum! I've been there and listening to advise or other people's opinions can make things worse (closest I've ever come to punching someone!!)

I'll post again in a minute with some things to try. (a quick google on a few things..)

thank you.
dh got home and i expressed enough for a feed and he has gone round to mum's with it as well as our other wee boy.
i am going to get some sleep after i have a hot chocolate.
dh has also insisted that i take tonght off.
i am a bit worried about how this will affect bfing if he has a few epressed feeds in 24 hrs? he hasn't had a bottle till today. he is 6 weeks.

I hope you feel better after that hot choc and some sleep.

Silent reflux is hell. I don't know where you're at in the medication stage so apologies if you've already tried this or similar but, when I was at a similar point of desperation 2 years ago, we took our DS to a paediatric A &E. They were brilliant (and not just because they dosed him with something that knocked him out for the night). Sometimes it's hard to get GPs and HVs to accept that there is a serious problem.

Good luck.

most likely it'll be fine, keep expressing, he's past the 4 week age when nipple confusion is supposed to be less of a problem I think?
it's far more important that you get some rest.

he is on ranitadine, with some success.
tbh, after speaking to the (very good) paeds on thursday i think htis is as about as good as it can get for the net weee while. they are not keen to give him any other meds as the ranitadine has made him more comfortable - he doesn't scream now, but is a nightmare to feed and has bad and good days wrt sleeping.
dh has said that i need some sleep. i haven't slept for 6 wks because he can only sleep on a person and it has been me as i am bfing. dh more than happy to take a turn as he is soncerned about my mental health!

nicky - my DS had an operation when he was 7wo and I had to express throughout the day because he was nil by mouth from 7am onwards - and then bottlefeed him when he came out of the op because he was too tired and sore from the intubation to b'feed. He was fine the next day, went back to b'feeding no problems - hth.

it does thanks, thumbwitch.

So, I've had three children and tried everything and not everything works for every baby and you are of course free to think any of this might be a crock of but for what it's worth, food was the key for me (at the end of a long search!! - the other things help relieve symptoms).

Get a sling, reflux babies like being carried around. Get others, your Mum and DH to carry round in the evenings, preferable away from you so you don't have to hear if he is upset.

Get a vibrating chair and or a swing. Don't feel bad about getting a dummy too (if he will use it).

Try seeing a Homeopath, might not fix things but Camomilla and Dioscorea might help.

Try seeing an Osteopath with Paediatric training, sometimes the diaphragm is tense and high and relieving tension in this muscle can relieve the symptoms.

Food: Take dairy, eggs, wheat, sugar, caffeine, nuts and sesame seeds, and deadly nightshade veg (potatoes, tomatoes, aubergine and peppers), citrus, out of your diet and see if things improve. (Rice, chicken, white fish, sweet potatoes, camomile / fennel tea. I've asked on another forum for a link for the other things to eat (it's a pretty short list!). Start with this and if you get an improvement, you can start introducing foods to find the culprit or find a Kinesiologist to help to avoid having to make your DS uncomfortable during the process of elimination.

Night times: If poss, get your Mum to have your baby for a couple of hours in the evening. Unless your DH is away (I've not read your other thread so hope I'm not posting stupid suggestions!!), share the night times as the day is hard enough on your own!! Take shifts, your DS does need to be fed but does not need to be held by you all the time when he is not feeding. If he sleeps at all at night, you do the feed and get DH to settle. If he does not settle, do the rocking, pacing, sitting in the armchair in shifts so that you each get a couple of uninterrupted hours of sleep.

Good Luck - you are not alone and yes it is hell but it will end and your baby will not remember!!

I thought I was going nuts after 4 days - I do not know how I made it through the three months, but it was the battle of my life.

Look at these....really really good.

Managing Silent Reflux

Alternative Therapies

Calming a Reflux Baby

Also, there is a 35 degree tilted bed they can be strapped into at night that stops the acid coming up.

The first night DD slept was when I left her in the swing chair - she slept 8 hours without waking - a miracle.

Do completely cut out dairy in your diet and see how that goes, and then wheat/gluten. I think that was the main problem with me.

I have some cot blocks you can have which prop the cot up at one end. I used them with DD2 when she had a bad cold but it might help you.