havew left baby with my mu i cannot cope with him

[nickytwotimes]

he has reflux, silent.
dh on way home, but he is impossible to settle and awful to feed (bfed).
I cannot cope anymore with him.

Poor you. But if your mum is able and willing to help, then let her help. There's no rule that we need to look after our babies ourselves all the time. Just do whatever will help you feel better.

thanks everyone.
I am looking forward to sleeping tonight.
hopefully this will make things seem a little better.

How did it go last night nicky.

Did you get some sleep?

oh bless you nicky.

i hope you slept well, and are feeling more able to cope today.

x

My babies are both on ranitidine, domperidone and gaviscon so if I was you I'd insist on all the extra meds, particularly the gaviscon.

Hope you are feeling better today.

HI.
Had a bad mornign but feeling much better after the sleep last night and have had a good afternoon.
Ds has actually fallen asleep sucking his dummy ON HIS OWN this evening propped up on his play mat - a first! He has only ever fallen asleep lying on my/dh's chest before. It is nice to be able to type two handed.
He is on gaviscon, btw. Paed reluctant to prescribe domperidom, but will see how it goes...
I have been dairy free for a fortnight so far. not sure it has helped, but scared to eat dairy agian in case things get worse!
Thanks everyone.

So glad you're feeling a bit better and hopefully this is the start of DS getting a bit better.

Fingers crossed for you. And remember don't be afraid to ask for help.

i would just like to back up what mistyb has said,our daugther had silent refulx,we lived miles from anyone and it was an utter nightmare...please get a sling,upright ones are best we had a hug-a-bub and it honestly saved me from going compleatly mad...also a swing seat we had a fisher price papasan cradle swing, and it helped sooo much, we would have it going on the highest setting for hours at a time at night, but she SLEPT so it was worth it!
also dd is now two and although it was compleate hell while it lasted,its a distant memory now,and it will be for you too,
i promise,you CAN do this,accept all the help you can get, dont feel guitly about combining breast and bottle,and finaly...GET SOME SLEEP,whenever,wherever,just sleep!

it WILL get better!

Sorry the last few days (well....weeks!) have been so hard. You have my utmost sympathy - reflux really is the spawn of the devil! Is your DS gaining weight appropriately (ie along his centile)? I have the impression that sometimes Dr's don't take reflux as seriously (ie prescribe the good stuff) if they're gaining fine and its just behavioural/discomfort symptoms. I don't know...but I was always fobbed off with colic, colic, colic until my DS reached 4 months and I was on the point of madness and he was losing weight and had stopped eating until they diagnosed reflux...as I'd wondered all along. Anyway....point is if he's gaining normally you might have to push for other medication if you still think that life is pretty unbearable. Life with a newborn is never a walk in the park of course. And life with a reflux newborn is always going to be more tricky than normal, but maybe give the meds a little longer and then ask firmly what else they can suggest - just because they're not losing weight doesn't mean it shouldn't be treated accordingly. Possibly they're waiting until the magical 12 weeks when a lot of babies seem to settle down (as often its over-tired/stimulated etc...I think this is your 2nd though, so I'm sure you know all this) - and maybe that's a good strategy to not over-medicate but if DS is still very uncomfortable then its something to consider.

But as the others said...it is amazing what a stretch of good sleep can do. At 6 weeks your adrenaline reserves of 'oh new baby' are depleted and your energy is at an all time low anyway, let alone having little sleep and really stressful days. Cos even the good days can feel like waiting for the other shoe to drop as the next day (or next few hours could be horrendous) so you can never truly relax. Don't worry too much about the BF and bottle thing - both my DS's were mixed fed for a while and DS1 certainly was able to go back to BF. I actually switched to FF when DS1 was diagnosed with reflux though as it made it a lot easier to get the dosage right (I felt) with the gaviscon. I worried that formula would be worse for reflux (and supposedly it can be as BM is easier/quicker to digest) but it wasn't for us. Not trying to sway you either way, but when I was very sleep deprived and laden with guilt about the fact my baby cried so much cos of the reflux I had a big guilt thing about the fact I must BF. But actually FF was pretty good for us, and meant I could get a break every now and again sleep-wise/sanity-wise. But then I've had friends where pumping has worked very well for them, so if you work on an expressed stash then you'll still be able to get a break as and when.

Sending calming, settling vibes to your DS's tummy!

You know what - it will get better, soon. While you are in the midst of it, it is hell but as soon as they can sit up a bit or their stomachs settle down then you get through it.

There are some great suggestions on here. Gaviscon worked for my LO when she had it but if it doesn't ask to see a paediatrican and go to A and E if you want an immediate response.

Good luck.

Thoughts go out to you .
Don't know if some reason why ranatadine might be preferred for babies ,but experience in my family where several of us have gastric reflux is that omreprazole works better . ( it works in a different way )
Apparently it's more expensive and my brother's GP switched him ,and then he had to ask to go back to omreprazole .

Thank you for hte messages.
I am a bit weepy this morning after a bad night of ds struggling after feeding and being up for hours. I hate watching him wriggle in discomfort when he is feeding.
I am just SO tired. zam, you are spot on about the 6 wk mark. ANd I do have a big giult thing about changing from exclusive bfing as he has the reflux. ALso I didn't manage to feed ds1 and I have worked so hard to feed ds2 and to get to this stage with it.
I am so upset about considering mixed feeding, but I feel it might be worth a try, just to see if it makes things a bit easier for us, particularly at night as I HAVE to get sleep.
I also need to do something NICE. GO out for a coffee or something with dh and the dsses. I haven't been out the house for weeks really.

Yes, yes, yes - treat yourself! You are working really hard and doing a great job. Switching to mixed feeding for a while doesn't mean you can't go back to excl bf in a while - you can gradually decrease bottles and inc. bf. Just do what you need to do to get through this tricky patch - ready meals, sod the housework (or get a cleaner in if money allows), Beebies on, etc. And go easy on the guilt - remind yourself of what you've achieved, not what you feel you haven't done.

You've got to 6 weeks and that in itself is fantastic!! Breastfeeding is not a given and is not always a choice.

Formula has improved massively in the last few years too. Look at the ones developped for sicky babies - Aptamil and SMA do an easy digest one which have a different consistency and are heavier in their tummies.

Well done on the no dairy, most coffee shops do soya milk and soya lattes are actually OK!! Wheat is also hard to digest so you could consider dropping that too - genius do a fantastic and convincing bread available from the free from aisle in most supermarkets. Mergingues and macaroons are good dairy and wheat free treats for you!!

Good Luck and stay sane!! (it's hard when people ask you if things are getting better and then give you the "poor cow" face. It used to make me want to scream at them that they have no idea what it is like - on here there are lots of people who know exactly what it's like!!)

You MUST get the baby swing cradle. Go into a shop that have lots of them and put baby in for a few minutes and see which one calms them. DD didn't like the first three, and then in the 4th, she fell asleep in front of our eyes (and so peacefully that we almost wept). We bought it and she practically lived in it for the next month.

THIS IS A GODSEND. How I wish I had bought one sooner.

Also, on hindsight, I wish I had dropped 100% breastfeeding.....life was too hard for me to cope with that as well. 50/50 would have been just fine - still getting all those goodies from your milk, but do the bottle feed evening/night.

When you say mixed feeding do you mean formula?
If so we found cow and gate comfort helped. (and the gaviscon)

Anyway ds also slept on his side and propped up 30 degrees at the top of his cot. He had a lovely habit of vomiting in his sleep.

Hope you feeling better soon. Its really hard at this stage.

Thanks all.
Still managing the bfing. Just taking it day by day. Had a better few nightwe and got some sleep so feel slightly better.
Trying to focus on what I have managed to acheive rather than worry.

Aw, so glad you've updated, and a huge well done on persisting with bf! An hour at a time, one feed at a time, one day at a time.

Hope you can keep on managing to get your rest and remember - it's just a phase .

You are doing so well. It is hellish having a baby with reflux and people just don't understand unless they have been through it.

I have been put on anti depressants due to dealing with my reflux baby but she is now 15 months old and we are finally through it. She is just amazing and we are sooo close and cuddly and happy. There really is a light at the end of a very long tunnel.

Make sure you get a break when ever you can and don't ever feel guilty.

We had Omeprazole and domperidone for our little girl and it worked wonders. Do not let the Doctors fob you off if things don't improve.

Huge hugs for you and your little bubba x