I'm losing my grip on reality

[roslily]

I have a history of depression, gp wonders about Bipolar. I am in a really bad place at moment, I have escalated and cam barely function. I can't sleep, but feel constantly wrecked, not eating. Now I can't work things out.

I told dh that I thought childminder wanted to take ds. I think this was quite rational, but he thinks I am begin weird. I feel all jittery, can't keep still. I don't want to leave ds, but need a way out of this pain.

I work full time as a teacher, only just gone back from ML, have had time off before, don't think can have more time off. If I don't work we lose our house.

I just want to be somewhere safe, I don't feel safe but myself. Help

Oh Roslilly, you sound as if you are having a really terrible time. Please get some help for this asap.

I think you should phone someone tonight - NHS direct or your gp.

Do you take any medication at the moment?

Also, surely your work need to give you sick leave if you need it. Do you work for a local authority? I don't think you will lose your job.

Could you maybe try and call the Samaritans ? Talking over how you are feeling might help a little.

They are really good and just listen.

Rosily, so sorry to hear you are struggling. Do you just have support of Gp,or are you under a community mental health team? (CMHT?) Because a Gp is not qualified to diagnose and is unable to therefore prescribe the right medication.

If you just ask your gp can you get another appointment after school asap and ask gp to make an immediate referral to your CMHT? They work until 5pm, some even more flexible and you could see a psychiatrist you can assess you and identify and possible causes and diagnosis, if you can be truly honest. You may then get further support, such as a keyworker (a CPN etc)... which would then give you support to crisis team services etc.

It is tough working full-time and so on, but EEaster hols will soon be here.

If you start stopping it is often due to the HHALT process:
H = hunger
A= anger
L = lonely
T = thirsty, tired

• if you are struggling to eat etc, this means your beginning to stop/halt.

You can go to any hospital and ask to see the on-duty psychiatric team, or phone out of hours Gp service to see a dr anytime tonight who may be able to listen and help in short term.

Try not to worry about work - many teachers have to take time off, and you obviously have a little one as well.

x

I am on 60mg of Citalopram, my gp keeps upping the dose but I don't feel any better. I have an appointment for community mental health team on monday. I hope they can help. In past I have been passed from team to team, which is disheartening.

I just want to feel normal, I don't want to feel like this anymore.

I work for local authority, and wouldn't lose my job straight away, but I have already had two significant periods of time off in last 2 years for depression and I think they might try to cut me. People at work will think I am a slacker,

It doesn't matter what they think. If you are unwell you are unwell end of story. Don't forget that upping doses of medication can often make you feel worse with scary side effects before you feel better.

You need to look after yourself as a priority so please try not to worry about work and the consequences of that. It must be a big adjustment going back and they will realise that. You need to see a mental health specialist as soon as possible and get their support. Focus on that and worry about everything else later.

I am not sure what Keziahhopes is talking about as GP's are qualified to diagnose depression, even if they don't fully understand it.

roslily - your house is just bricks and mortar. Your health is far more important. Do not even waste time worrying about what other people might think. They are not important. Your health is. Call someone today.

Roslily - how are you doing?

I've been there Roslily. I think you probably need to stop full stop and look after yourself right now.

Work and other issues can wait. It's hard I know.

I didn't go to work today, I needed some head space. Ds is at childminder. I feel really guilty but dh said I needed a break.

I have appt with mental health team on monday, I hope they can help.

Don't feel guilty you need to look after yourself!

Hope things go well on Monday but bear in mind that you can phone them before that if you need to.

Sorry FabisDoingWll - yes, Gp's can diagnose depression, but not things such as bipolar.

Hope that meeting with mental health helps rosily. If absence from work due to pregnancy, they can't count that against you.

I am intrigued as to how you can say they can't diagnose bipolar now.

a psychiatrist is far better placed to diagnose and prescribe meds for complex mental health issues than a gp.

Well obviously but to say blanket that a gp can't diagnose depression or bipolar is just wrong.

Psychiatrists diagnose the major mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, BiPolar

GPs don't

Not ime but I don't wish to carry on arguing

Sorry FabisdoingPrettyWell - please ignore my posts, I should not say things that others may not agree with. Point taken... I agree I don't know who can use the diagnostic tools and formalise using the ICD 10 or DSM IV-TR, and pointing from what I have been told my medics is wrong - as other medical people may use different practices.

Roslily
I will not post again roslily as I am not a dr and don't want to say things thlat may not be helpful - but all the best and I hope you can get the support and help from the medical profession that is best for you, so you can recover and keep that job if you wish to without any problems.

I'd be worried by a GP diagnosing an illness like BiPolar who hasn't been closely collaborating with a psychiatrist

There needs to be (3, IIRC) episodes that fulfil DSM/ICD10 criteria in order for a formal diagnosis to be made

A GP alone could not do this

The pt needs a much fuller assessment of mental health - longer than the average 10min consultation a GP can offer

I don't think this thread should be hijacked!! It is too sensitive.

Roslilly - let us know how you get on.

Roslily - I too hope that you get some support from the CMHT on Monday. I'm really glad you're seeing them as they will be professionals trained in the field of mental health

Think this was why I made the point about GPs alone not being best placed to support in more complicated situations such as this

Sorry if I shoved the thread 'off-track' a bit

KeziahHopes - you don't have to stop posting. I was just concerned that roslily wouldn't go to the doctor if she thought they weren't going to be able to help and maybe the thought of seeing someone more mental health focussed and higher up the chain itswim, would make her nervous.

This was obviously playing on my mind as I dreamt about it last night.

Apologies if I have upset or pissed anyone off. I wasn't trying to help and getting it wrong.

Sorry roslily.

Please don't all get upset. I know that my doctor can't diagnose Bipolar, that is why she referred me. Unfortunately it is not pregnancy related as my son is now 6months old.

Hi Roslily

I believe women can be diagnosed with PND and other post-natal stress/illness up to 12m post-birth (may even be 18m?)

The CMHT will take this into consideration as part of their assessment process. Some CMHTs have psychiatrists/workers with a special interest in post-natal care

Hope you're managing ok today

Postnatal depression can develop at any point in the first two years of life. Things like breastfeeding or total lack of sleep can completely and utterly mess up hormones/ brain chemistry.

Lots of teachers have time off for depression. (Both male and female) It won't be the end of your career. Teaching is a stressful profession and there are many casualites.