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Original poster

I had to take my friend to a psychiatric hospital on thursday evening

42 replies

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 27/02/2010 19:16

she is convinced that she has to kill hersef for everyone else to be ok
as she has messed them all up and should never have been on this earth

I begged her to go to the docs

stupidly let her drive away on her own, she promised me she would go straight to the docs

then I realised my stupidity and went to find her

she was drinking straight vodka(litre bottle three quarters of the way down in a bout 30 mins) to get up the courage to go in to the docs
I dragged her in, told her to be honest

she spewed out all the awfulness in her head and he gave me documents to get her booked in tp a psychiatric hospital

It was hell, she drank the rest of the vodka on the 40 min drive, the doc had given her pills to calm her too.
she was distraught, begging me to let her just go away and die

she has been in before but didn't tell them the truth

she has now promised to tell the truth, has admitted to the amount she drinks so will be admmitted to rehab after assesment where she is now

she sounds so scared and wobbly now(I spoke to her on the phone)

I feel awful as I put her there

but I couldn't not do anything

and she needs more help than I can give her

without a doubt

OP posts:
Original poster
TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 27/02/2010 19:18

I'm not sure why I'm telling you
just alot to have in my own head

I can barely keep myself together atm

and I needed help
I coulnd't help her myself

OP posts:
Original poster
TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 27/02/2010 19:19

I feel selfish that because I am determined to get myself together I didn't try to help her by bringing her to my house, talking her down, wathcing her for a few days(like a suicide watch)

I just dont haveit in me to do that and my kids dont need that in their house

also thining about it, that is not what she needs
I think I did the right thing

OP posts:
hf128219 · 27/02/2010 19:20

You did the right thing. Someone had to do it for her.

nickytwotimes · 27/02/2010 19:20

You DID help her, Trinity. You took her somewhere safe.

Poor you though - as if you don't have enough to deal with atm.

I've been an inpatient a few times in the past and really it was a help in an emergency situation.

differentID · 27/02/2010 19:20

Trinity- this is so hard for you. we are all able to listen if you need to sound off.

You have done a great thing in getting her to the help she needs.

leftorright · 27/02/2010 19:23

that's so hard for you - you definitely did the right thing, and somehow she knows it as she allowed you to take her there. I have seen some of your other threads and you must be a mighty friend to take that on when you are having such a hard time yourself. I hope things are turning a corner a little for you and, complete stranger that I am, wish you and your family a calm and loving 2010.

Original poster
TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 27/02/2010 19:23

she was clinging onto me, begging me not to leave her there

ugh it was horrid
I felt like the worst person ever but I knew she needed to be there right now

also the drink and pain killers addiction needs sorting

she really is a mess

she hid it for so long and then she started cracking and telling me the truth about things slowly

then her dh found out about a loan she got and her overdraft and he was understandably angry

and she just broke under the pressure

her dh didn't realise the extent of everything either

she has hidden it all for so long

she says that she has alwasy felt comforted knowing that if life got too much for her or she messed up she could always kill herself

like a comfort blanket she said

OP posts:
Beasknees · 27/02/2010 19:24

you did the right thing. she's much better in a hospital where they have facilities to help her especially with the amount he's drunk.

you ARE a good friend

nickytwotimes · 27/02/2010 19:25

Trinity, there will be a part of her that is relieved to be there and to be safe. The bit that wants to survive.

LittleMarshmallow · 27/02/2010 19:28

Trinity, you did the right thing, it is upsetting to see someone like that tho

GetDownYouWillFall · 27/02/2010 19:35

How awful - this must have been terrible to witness. They are not nice places, but at least they are safe.

Also in a funny way they motivate you to sort yourself out as you just want to get out!

themothershipcalling · 27/02/2010 19:36

Bloody hell, have been reading your previous threads and know you're going through alot. You did the best thing and she's where people can help her.

I think no matter how shit things are you always want to help your friends if they're in trouble. Somehow it helps

Original poster
TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 27/02/2010 19:37

she has rakes and rakes of diaries
I knew aboutt hem but have never known where they are or what is in them
today she told me where they were and asked me to tell her dh to take them in with her other stuff she needed because she wants to show them to her counsellor

definitely a step forward

OP posts:
dawntigga · 27/02/2010 19:39

Shit Trin, you did the right thing. My god. Are you getting the help you need right now?

ThinkingOfYouTiggaxx

memorylapse · 27/02/2010 19:42

you did the right thing...you did help her..by taking her somewhere she can receive professional help..that makes you a bloody wonderful friend in my book...

Longtalljosie · 27/02/2010 19:43

Trinity - you did do the right thing, but I'm going to say something harsh and I hope you can forgive me. The important thing for you at the minute is you and your children. You cannot deal with this as well. Your children need you. You need to find someone who will be this person's go-to person and disengage yourself. You are not superhuman and you can't deal with all this on top of everything else.

Original poster
TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 27/02/2010 19:43

well I've rung cruse and winstons wishes

they have sent information packs

social services are sorting a case conference meeting to see if the kids should be put on the child protection list

but the house is clean
I'm not getting drunk
I've stopped swearing
the kids are being read to at night
and hugged, loved and talked to

my friedn has offered to help me sort memory boxes for the kids

craig has a job

so yeah we're ok ish

OP posts:
Original poster
TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 27/02/2010 19:45

I am her only friend
she has been basically a recluse for years
I'm the only person she trusts

what your saying is right
completely right
but there is noone else so it isn't an option

but after years I have now said to her
I cant help you do this to yourself anymore
you miust get help, tell them the truth, accept everything they offer you and put your all into it

or i wont be there for you anymore as I cant do it as I need to focus on my family

OP posts:
BratleyBackToNormal · 27/02/2010 19:46

Oh God, Trinity, you really did the right thing. Truely.

It takes some courage to do something like that but she sounds like she really needed someone to make the decision for her, and it takes a bloody good friend to help like that.

I hope your friend starts to be able to put herself back together now she's in a place where she can get the help.

What situation do you think she'd be in now if she didnt have you as a friend?
Doesn't bear thinking about really does it?

Hugs for you sweetheart, sounds like you need them, you know where we all are if you need to sound off.

You did the right thing xx

OrientCalf · 27/02/2010 19:49

oh how awful - you absolutely did the right thing. She is in the right place

snowkitten · 27/02/2010 19:55

i think you are an amazing friend. You should feel proud for taking such a bold step. Well done

morningpaper · 27/02/2010 20:04

gosh trinity you did completely the right thing

I wish I had a friend who had taken me to the right place when I was young n crazy

she is in the right place, if she'd been having a heart attack you wouldn't take her home to bed

you did the right thing, at the right time, and she will be enormously grateful that you have done this for her

Nevergoogledragonbutter · 27/02/2010 20:11

Well done trinity. You did the right thing.

EccentricaGallumbits · 27/02/2010 20:15

Fuck Trinity. You are bloody amazing.

absolutely the right thing.

policybabe · 27/02/2010 21:04

Hi Trinity, I had my brother sectioned nearly 4 yrs ago now when he went right off the rails, tried to kill my mum and himself.

You aren't responsible for the life path your friend has chosen or her fragile mental state.

You have done everything, more in fact than most but now it's time for you and your family.

Your friend will be in a deep pit that she has to climb out of herself - she's gone as low as she can so she can only move upwards from there on, which she will be able to do now she has professional support.

Take it from someone who has dealt with severe mental issues for over 25yrs, you can't adequatley support someone when there is emotional involvement because you are open to emotional manipulation without knowing it.

If a person wants to harm themselves there is fundamentally very little you can do to stop them if that is their determined intent. You have done everything possible.

You have been a fantastic friend but it is now time to take care of yourself & your little ones. Your friend now must learn to bear responsibility for herself and her own life which she will do in time with targeted professional support.

It is now time for you to take a step back, i am sure, she will always be your friend, but you no longer need to bear responsibility for her, this she will learn to do for herself. You can care about her, but it is not your job to care for her.

Don't feel guilty when you feel the weight lift, which it will - embrace it, just allow the experience to strengthen you & your understanding as you walk your own life path with your own family. Any guilt you may be feeling is 'false guilt'which can be confusing at the time. Concentrate on the amazing things you have done instead of if's, but's & maybe's. MIND are a good org to contact for help and advice if you need it at any stage, take care