getting help

[arcadia96]

i have a young baby and am struggling particularly with anxiety and insomnia now leading into depression. I have tried to seek help but have trouble really saying how bad I'm feeling as don't want to alarm or upset people (friends/family), or be sectioned (GP/health Visitor). I really feel like each day is getting harder. Anyone been in a similar situation - how to really make it known that you need more help?

Arcadia that is great news I'm getting better too - slept really well last night! It is very gradual for me but on the upward spiral I hope.

I have suffered insomnia for over 15 years.
I used to work shifts where I would get home about half nine and have to be back at work at 7am. It totally messed me up and I literately spent years feeling like I was living in a bowl of treacle and was dragging myself through each day.
I became totally obsessed with sleep and thought about it all the time.
Have tried so many AD and been on some where I could't sleep at all.
Now I am on St Johns Wort which I take last thing at night and it is the best thing ever.
I also take a small amount of Tryptophan at night.
I may not always sleep perfectly but do not get the associated anxiety that used to go with it.
Anino acids are amazing and my head feels clearer now than for 15-20 years.
I understand everybody's experience and mental 'chemistry' is different but for me it has realy made a difference
I want to shout this from the roof tops and tell everyone about this natural way of treating depression, anxiety and insomnia !!

What doses do you take of the St Johns Wort and the Tryptophan?

1800 mg SJW, 220mg L-Tryptophan at night.
Also 1000mg L-Tyrosine in the morning, along with multi-vit, vit B complex and 1000mg vit C.
Got the info from a book called 'The Way up from Down' by Pricilla Seagle. The important bits from the book are available free online.
Had been on the SJW for a while with very good effects but recently added in the amino acids abd felt even better.
I am not cured by any means just feel better and head clearer. Tyrosine is proven to help with sleep deprivation and can help improve motivation.
SJW interacts with a few medications such as the contraceptive pill and you must be careful if you experience episodes of mania or have high blood pressure.
Sorry didn't mean to hijack this thread

No don't apologise thanks topsi that sounds helpful. Am doing a lot better but still waking up earlier than I'd like to.

Arcadia I have the early waking problem too. I think our brains are just wired to listen out for babies even when the babies are asleep.

BBL - I know, I wait for her to wake up! She's been screaming all day so hopefully she'll sleep tonight... and me too!

BBL - how is the sleep going? I have been up and down. Even though am now sleeping relatively better (at least 6 hours a night but not always in one go) still feel worried and not very happy. Have had one session of hypnosis but found it hard to 'let go'. Not sure there will be one magic answer to this. In fact my sleep is probably not that much different to other people's now but I still feel that it is a problem. And I have nightmares that upset me.

I know it sounds like such a cliche but the road to recovery is never a straight path, there are peaks and troughs, good days and bad days.

It's just the good days get more and more and the bad days, less and less.

Thanks GDYWF. It just seems like when I do have a bad day, I over-dramatise and forget about the good days if you know what I mean. In my head I know I have improved a lot but I keep moving the goal posts and expecting more and more of myself, therefore it never feels like I am progressing. And am fed up of all this introspection trying to sort myself out, when i just want to be focussed on my baby!

Hi there, I have read through this thread and it is good (if that is the right word) to know that there are others going thought the same things as I am.
I have a loooong and winding history with depression, anxiety and insomnia and this was one of the things that kept me from having a baby for a long time. But I knew that I would eventually regret it, and I have a wonderful baby boy who is almost one.
I was on an extremely low dose of Venlafaxine, and the psych said if I feel ready I could try to come off - take three!!! - because I don't really need it. I was coping well and feeling well with baby and life, and came off in Nov. Then my baby started sleeping badly and it has been such a cold, hard winter, either me, my dh or baby had a cold, and the sleepless nights (baby induced) messed us up. But from about a week ago my insomnia got worse and worse, this time with a sleeping baby! I am so tired but find it hard to shut off, I meditate and I'm going for acupuncture, which was so effective during pregancy. She says there is a lot of things that were literally repressed with the medication now coming out, and I think being a mum is hard work and stress. So I am hoping that this time I can find a way to deal with things that don't involve AD's. I take a sleeping pill every now and then if things get too hard. And I so agree with you Arcadia, I just wish I were more relaxed and less focused on all these things. But I know I am too hard on myself.

Hi mdavza, welcome to our insomnia forum! Is venlafaxine an AD? I have also found this winter really hard. Insomnia is so much harder to deal with when you have a baby too. It makes me feel different from the other mum's I meet; I find they look at me blankly as they can't imagine not falling asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow! I find it hard to sleep during the day so people taking DD for me doesn't help much, can just stress me more, plus there is noise from the street/neighbours etc. I'm also trying acupuncture, hypnosis, meditation, vitamin supplements etc!!!! Trying to relax is so much easier said than done! Maybe we just need to accept how we are and then we will feel better!

Haha, I agree, now if I can just find that special button that says 'Accept this now'....What about exercise? I am recovering from a chest infection but in the past exercise has always helped me with symptoms. Venlafaxine is an anditdepressant, my first psychologist said I had to take it for life (this was about 7 years ago) but I reduced the dosage over the years and my current (we moved) psychiatrist said I am on a laughably low dosage, and I don't need it. But to take it until I felt ready to go off.
Maybe our mantra should be: It will get better, it will get better.
I hear you about other mums, or when someone says: why don;t you just nap in the day with you baby...aaaarrrgghhhh!!

Hi Arcadia, I was doing really well until this week when DS1 came down with chicken pox and DS3 (the baby) has been sleeping really badly. Had five hours sleep Sunday and Monday and one hour last night. It is DS2's birthday today and I feel like a zombie and a failure. I just want to curl up and die today I don't know what to do. I was doing so well but it is such a struggle to sleep well that I feel like I have given up the fight. DH is being really harsh with me and saying 'you've been here before, you can get over it, it's just a blip'. Soooo tired. Trying hard to be happy for DS2.

Oh you poor thing BBL, I really sympathise. Insomnia and babies are the worst combination. I feel like I can just about cope when the baby sleeps well but when she doesn't it is so hard. I don't know what else to say but you have to keep going somehow and you will find the strength. I know that doesn't help much though.

Hi there, I'm really interested to read this thread as I have suffered from chronic insomnia on and off my whole life. For the last 5 years I was taking mitrazpine which worked most of the time. However I am now 9 weeks pregnant with my first child. Stopped the mitrazapine immediately I found out at 4 weeks). I am now struggling with antenatal depression (to my huge shame and disappointment, thought this would be best thing that ever happened to me) and a lot of this is due to the fact that I have barely slept in the last 5 weeks.

Like a lot of you have said, things are entirely different when you have had a good night's sleep- on the couple of occaisions I've had anough recently I have been able to I am able to think positively about my pregnancy, my relationship, my life in general. But I'm so exhausted most of the time it's all I can do to stop myself from breaking down entirely.

Anyway I just want to ask, do any of you have experience of insomnia during pregnancy and know of any safe treatments? I know it's a long shot as the dr told me nothing is really safe medication wise. I'm obviously completely paranoid about risk to baby but on the other hand I am finding this almost unbearable. I know that when I'm heavily pregnant it will be harder to sleep and then when the baby comes obviously it will be keeping me awake. I'm sorry to sound selfish but I'm looking down a black hole right now of going without enough sleep to cope emotionally for at least the next year or so and its cracking me up entirely.

This is also causing me problems at work as I'm so sleep deprived I struggle to cope and it is really really hard and complicated for me to have time off right now, and this certainly wouldn't help my anxieties.

ANY advice gratefully received. Thanks.

I haven't got much advice for you - I'm a big fan of herbal remedies but would not suggest any of the really effective ones to a pregnant lady. They also tend to work less well if your body is used ot hard core sleep chemicals.

I just wanted to pick up on some of the things you said - you talked about huge shame and disappointment and about being selfish - none of these things are true or necessary. Depression of whatever kind happens to us against our will and all we can do is deal with it as best we can. Antenatal depression is common and must be hard to deal with because you are not expected to function normally - the outside world expects you to be happy and glowing. Accept how you feel and realise that you will love your child just as much as women who are not depressed and that your child will be fine.

What you said there has just brought a tear to my eye (I'm so hormonal). Thank you, I really hope you are right cos I can't bear the thought of my child suffering due to my mental health. I know beating yourself up doesn't help I'm just so frustrated by never sleeping and therefore never being able to think straight and feel optimistic like I can when well rested. Thanks again x

hi symone can I ask you about how you stopped your mirtazapine? It's just I take mirtazapine myself and have heard that if you stop it really suddenly you can get rebound insomnia.

The other night I forgot to take my pill and I was awake till 1am before I realised I'd forgotten it - had to get up and take it before I could fall asleep.

Although they can never guarantee safety of a drug in pregnancy there are some that are definitely worse than others e.g. the benzodiazepines (diazepam, lorazepam, temazepam etc.) must be avoided. Also mood stabilisers like lithium and sodium valproate.

However, many people continue to take ADs during pregnancy (having been advised there is no guaranteed safety) and they and their babies have been absolutely fine.

I understand your fear of harming the baby (I feel this fear greatly too, should I ever get pregnant again) but being ill and suffering in the way you are may also have a negative effect on your baby. What I'm trying to say is that being on a low dose of mirtazapine might be the best option, if it's going to keep you well and sleeping, in your pregnancy? What dose were you on before you got pregnant?

Sympathies - insomnia is awful. Have you tried CBT for your insomnia? It has been shown to be the best long term effective treatment for insomnia - much better than any drug - and is obviously completely safe and side-effect-free for your baby!
x

Hi Symone, I COMPlETELY understand how you're feeling. I first started feeling depressed and then found out I was pregnant. I beat myself up for not being a 'happy' mum-to-be, but you know what, that is soooo unnecessary. Many mums feel low and scared and we unfortunately live in a society where we value hiding our true emotions.
I was very insomniac and depressed for the first three months of my pregnancy, and I eventually went back on a very low dosage of Venlafaxine (Efexor) which helped. I also went for acupuncture, and that helped with the insomnia.
Accept the way that you are feeling right now, it's okay to feel as you're doing, especially with lack of sleep. Nad go speak to your doctor, it's not necessary for you to suffer, you have to be good to yourself now to be good to the baby.
Oh, and my baby is superfine!

My insomnia is better, phew, I think it was stress-induced and I just took a sleeping pill for a few nights. I am again going for acupuncture, which seems to work really well for me, and I'm doing an interactive course on insomnia (CBT) which is also helping.
And meditating a lot when baby naps!!
But somehow we muddle through.

Hi Symone, how about homeopathy? This has really helped me get my sleep back on track and if you go to a trained homeopath they will know what is safe to use in pregnancy. The idea of homeopathy is that it encourages your body to heal itself. It doesn't work for everyone I know but it really helped me. My sleep isn't 100% perfect by any means but it is much better than it was after Christmas when my insomnia started.

getdownyouwillfall- The simple answer is I just stopped the mitrazapine abruptly the day I discovered I was pregnant. I couldn't risk taking it because it would make me too scared about harming the baby- I'm quite an anxious person. I was quite shocked at finding out I was (even tho I have ALWAYS wanted a child) and my partner was not exactly overjoyed so the first week especially was hell, I barely slept at all and eventually ended up at the dr a week later. She saw how utterly exhausted I was and prescribed me a weeks worth of Zopliclone, which really worked but I felt terrible about taking even tho the dr promised me that a weeks worth wouldn't damage the baby- so if anyone knows this is not right please don't tell me!

mdavza- I am going to speak to the dr again next week and will accept any help possible as this is ruining my pregnancy. Thanks for sharing your experience. You're so right everyone hides these feelings and wha you see instead is the constant images of ecstatically happy, "glowing" women who all say they love being pregnant so you feel like crap for not being like that.

beckybendylegs- I will try and conact a homeopath on your advice as I had already considered this. Thanks and glad it helped you.

Thanks all of you for your replies, thank god i'm not the only one to have these problems.

Hate to hijack but

MDAVZA would you mind coming back to this thread? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/890485-Has-anyone-moved-their-DC-into-a-bed-before-they

Arcadia I am just wondering how you are doing since we were both suffering at the same time earlier this year? I'm sleeping much, much better. It isn't 100% perfect by any means (partly because DS3 still wakes up every night once or twice) but I can fall asleep ok and don't lie awake for hours in the early hours either so much now. I don't know whether it was the hypnotherapy or the homeopathic remedy or a combination but something has worked for me. I also no longer feel anxious all the time and sick even though we are in a bit of a health crisis at the mo. with chicken pox taking no prisoners in this family. I hope you are doing ok

PS Happy Mother's Day!

Hi BeckyBendyLegs thanks for thinking of me! Still struggling on. Sleep got bit better then bit worse mainly because baby not sleeping so well and waking randomly like 3/4am though touch wood the last three nights she has gone through til 6/6.30 again. Think she's similar age to your DS3, 15 weeks, sounds like he was similar for a while? I get to sleep OK now at 11ish and sleep til 3 or 4 or sometimes later then wake and sometimes have trouble getting back to sleep, then baby waking any time from 4-7. But have been relying on DP who has been off work for a month and taking her in mornings so I can sleep again for a while between 7am and 9am but tomorrow he goes back and I'm really worried how I'll cope as I'll have to do most nights/mornings. I'm really irritable and burst into tears most days about something or other. So finding it really tough. Saw hypnotherapist a few times but don't know that it has really 'worked'. I could try homeopathy next but am spending so much money on therapies and getting a bit fed up of it. It's just so hard coping with the stress and the baby waking in the night then feeling crap in the day and worrying I won't cope - just a vicious cycle.
After that whinge - glad that you're feeling better anyway! At least you know that you don't hate being a mum as you had your other sons first. I'm worried I'm never going to enjoy it.