This fear that social services will come and take your children...

[willsurvivethis]

...it worries me!

There seem to be so many women out there who are afraid to seek help for depression and other problems out of fear that they will lose their children.

I have just asked MNHQ if they would consider doing something with this. Because surely if so many of us fear to lose our children something is going wrong somewhere! Surely we should all be albe to seek help with confidence?

What are your thoughts on this? I struggle with PTSD and even told my doctor that I tended to keep emotional distance from my ds when he's ill without even considering the possibility of that having repercussions.

Leonie - you sound like a petulant child in your last post!

Leonie I completely understand.
You go through hell with the most precious things in you
r life being threatened to be taken away from you over some bullshit, and people who've never been in your situation come along and say 'oh that doesnt happen'
of course it's frustrating.

People who haven't been on the recieving end of SS BS could do with some experience of them and their children being subject to it, THEN come back on here and run their mouths about it not happening.

Leonie...yawn

mummyof2 don't judge so quickly - I have more than enough experiences of my own, which is why I started the thread.

willsurvivethis

Did you have them keep your child hostage in care over some bullshit?

No

I would not have been so damaged myself as a child if someone had got involved and helped my mum cope and saved me from my abuser (not my dad btw)

In addition I struggled with PTSD until recently (and sometimes still)and actually said to my doc that I kept trying to keep emotional distance from my (sn) child out of fear I would lose him. And no one even squeaked about me not coping, they just gave me support.

It is not necessary for me to have experienced exactly the same you know. We all have our own experiences. I started this thread out of concern because I know children suffer if mums don't get the help they need.

think it's probably pretty simple - if you know you are struggling and have your wits sufficiently about you to even think you should contact GP, get your packet of SSRIs and be helped in primary care then there is a good chance you have little to fear from SS

Okay willsurvivethis, you're obviously omn the complete other end of the spectrum, you've only seen first hand SS NOT being too quick to take kids into care, your veiws on SS will be very different!

If you lived through what an innocent mother has in having their baby taken, then you would think differently.

It's like someone recieving a life sentence to prison over something that they didn't do, then they have to listen to the general public who have the opinions; 'oh that doesn't happen, they probably did do it or at least do something wrong, they must have been arrested for a reason, blah blah blah'

I can also tell you that mothers who wrongly have their babies taken away in my opinion are entitled to do a lot more than swear and be inpolite over the situation.
You saying 'yawn' over someone elses anger over the situation is more offensive I think.

Not to hate on you personally, but in general over people who don't realise just how fucking awful it is to faced their children being seperated from them, over absolute bullshit.
If anything's worthy of swearing over..
I mean jeez

It's interesting that the people on here that have had the bad experiences with SS are also those with the foul language!

I was thinking getdownyouwillfall's comment was sarcastic!
As OF COURSE when you're talking about your babies being stolen you're more likely to swear! lol
I get incredibly angry, I have to limit talking about social services and actually shut my laptop, as I've been known to tell DS son to GO AWAY! Which is bad, but I realise how incredibly angry I get, and so I TRY to chill out a bit or move away from the conversation.

Another outragious metaphor;
Try talking with people who think your mother's murderer 'isn't so bad' and rolls their eyes when you get angry and upset over it, then try not to swear over the situation!!
:-)

Arg!
God I need to go out, stressed

Bye

I don't get upset about a bit of swearing, I live in the real world - I just get annoyed at showing disrespect at a social worker who is brave enough to keep posting.

And you are totally right, my 'yawn' comment on reflection was totally offensive. Leonie, I apologise for that post.

I haven't 'just' been on the other side of the spectrum btw,that's just my personal experience, although I believe it is valid. My work involves supporting and representing among others women torture survivors and women in domestic violence situations, I have been involved with women who speak no English, have no legal status in this country and can't take care of themselves let alone their baby and none ever had their child taken away.

Catholic Home Educating family - local LEA came round asked for entry, which legally they're not entitled to, so family said no, officer reported them to SS, said kids were in danger, they weren't, now they've had to flea the country with the SS in hot persuit threatening to take the kids away. Please help by signing the petition.

www.ipetitions.com/petition/ukssleaveourkidsalone/

i dont and have never had depression, i dont have or ever had adiction to drink or drugs, i have never had a criminal record of any sort, i do have 3 children one has adhd, a sw went to see him lied to his school about why and mentaly abused him while alone in a closed room, she made unfounded acusations about him wich she knew were false, police comfirmed this, his doc who is employed by ss over medicated him, my poor boy ended up so confused and frustrated he thought people were going to get in out home and hurt us, he became so distructive and agressive he destroyed our home and tried to take his own life, i had to interveind and wrestle with him to stop this, me and his dad arranged for him to live with his dad and step mum for full one to one support and transfer doc to have he fully assesed, because of this the ss say they are going court to have my remaining 2 kids looked after by some one else even tho they have no conserns about the care i give my kids, my eldest 2 have a diff dad to the baby and a cheeky sw asked my ex infront of me if he sure the eldest his as she looks so much like the baby, all kids are blonde eldest ad ogest have ble ees like both my brothers ad iddle boy had dark eyes like my mums side, do the ss not know about this little thing called genetics? i dont blame anyone for not asking for help from ss hv or gp, i have helped so many young/1st time mums got thro the 'am i doing a good job' syndrome, i have raised 9 kids in all and 5 wernt mine, all but 1 are boys and 6 of the boys have learning and or behavioral probs, all turned out good.

Just thought I'd let you know that this thread is being discussed on a Children Care Social Worker forum by a lot of social workers who are noting the perception that many of you have about the fears of social workers.

I was on this thread this time last year. I stopped going to the GP for treatment for depression because it was getting harder and harder to avoid answering truthfully. I didn't want anyone else to know that i was a failure as a mother.

A year on and DS2s issues are still unclear and i feel more and more like a "munchausens mother" and every stranger that comes to my door i am terrified is a SW that has seen us in the supermarket (lots of issues there) on a bad day. I went straight to childrens dept to get him seen by Paeds, i contacted SALT and OT myself fought for referral to CAMHS and all with no emotional support whatsoever. CHildrens services are SHIT here esp when someone like me (us) have stated several times that there is no support for parents when they need it, its all about right or wrong.

hmm i can't find my post....maybe i just remember reading it...?

I have only just seen this thread and it is a long way on

BUT I would like to say

when I became involved with ss in a non voluntary way the first inkling I had that it was no longer voluntary and the children were then put on the register waas two social workers one man and one woman coming to my house and the man stating very clearly how easy it would be for him to remove my children

I am not surprised that people think this

A mother should not fear or feel PND or depression post birth at all.

It's not a medical condition nor a mental health issue.

Giving birth and bringing up a baby is hard work the first 6-12 months.

PND is a 'label' given to a woman's feeling as a result of massive hormone changes taking place, a lack of sleep, afterall baby wakes you up when baby wants, not when you want, and the reality that mum still has to do all the same things she did before.

Depression if any occurs, and if it's clinical depression, is as a result of exhaustion and the negative feeling that mum is not 'keeping up' and meeting expectations.

ANYONE who makes a mum, be it first child or 6th child or more, feel bad because they are a mum should not only be ignored, but removed from your circle, at least till you can deal with people being negative.

Don't let the world around you bring you down and don't feel you aren't coping. If you are really struggling, you'll know and your friends and family will help, and if they don't, then you are stronger than them already!

Embrace the hormone changes that take place around 3 months, see it as a growth, rather than a trauma or negative, and simply look into bubs eyes and smile, maybe a soft blow of breath at babies face to make bub smile and react...

You don't have to 'suffer' PND or 'depression' you can turn it into a base line and simply reject it's dominance.

Enjoy being a mum, it's a time to grow yourself and your baby. Get over the wannabe's who think they know more and tell them to come back in a month or 6 :)

On the topic of removing children. Iut's very real and it's now in the UK based on 'future emotional harm'

I suggest if you haven't wanted the movie 'Minority Report' you watch it, and change Murder to 'child abuse' and be the lead character yourself.

The threat is real and with the outgoing Bernando's CEO criticising the UK government for a 'paulty' 70 babies removed for adoption last year, and a requirement to remove 4000 babies in the next year and quadruple that every year for the next 5 years, I'd certainly be wondering what the multi billion LA and Charity industry sees mums as.

You might like to see beinfim.com/l/silentchildren for a real eye opener.

legalmums - I am the original poster (back under my old name) and those two posts are among the most unhelpful, arrogant and untrue I've ever seen. No PND? Open your eyes and inform yourself before you go insulting a lot of women on here.

And as for what you suggest about a movie...I'm speechless

Thanks for posting Trinity, I remember you having a brush with SS during the hardest time of your life x

There is NO REQUIREMENT to remove babies other than those at risk from their parents.

FFS