My story;
I'm 25 and I have a 3 year old son who I've never spent a day without,
his dad left when he was a few weeks old and I've cared for him alone since then.
I've gained qualifications in this time and believe I've set up a nice home for him.
However, back in my teen years I suffered depression and attempted suicide several
times after a great loss in my life. At one point I took antidepressants and after 3 days
it was clear I had reacted badly to them as I had never felt so low in my life, so I took
the whole packet of them, I then told someone about it and I ended up on on psychiatric ward for 3 days.
They disgnosed me with adjustment disorder and I went home and had a psychiatrist who I saw every week.
I never used any medication for depression I recovered over time.
I haven't felt any serious depressive periods since about aged 18 or 19.
When I had my son I believe he cured me completely as he became the light of my life bassically
and being a mother has really completed me.
The social services did an assesment when he was born and said we were fine and discharged us.
Last year I fell pregnant after a very short liason with a guy a used to know.
I am now 7 monthes pregnant and still single.
Although it's not an ideal situation that I would have planned, I see myself having these two children
(and no more) and us all still having a good life and I'm okay with this.
The problem;
Whilst in hospital recently the consultant saw old scars on my arms from self harm I did about
8 years ago (they were deep cuts admittedly and I had overactive scar tissue in the healing
process which made them look a lot worse).
She then saw that I had been an 'inpatient' in my history
(the 3 day psychiatric ward stay which again was back in my teens) and
despite me telling her that I'm now fine and well, she said that she would have to refer me to the
Perinatal Maternal Health Team, because of my 'psychiatric problems'.
She told some other nurses and they gathered in a room and instantly
I could see they were all looking at me very sympathetically, even when I spoke they were looking
at me as if I was ill and it was all so uncomfortable, like, alienating.
Then they started to assure me that I could just go to a mother and baby unit when my baby is
born to be assessed properly, and I said 'what about my 3 yr old son, can he come'? and they went silent.
So obviously he would be seperated from me and what? in some foster care? I told them I have looked after
my son alone since he was born and I have been fine and not suffered any mental illness, but they
wouldn't be convinced.
They said there's a very high risk of childbirth brining back psychiatric problems.
I feel like I can't trust them, I may go into hospital and told that I cannot leave with my child and
that would be traumatic.
I don't know how serious this is, but I do know a girl in recent years here had her baby immediately taken a way for
a few weeks because of past depression, before a judge ordered that she as the mother should have her baby back.
How can they so casually play god in our lives like this? The first few weeks will be so important to
get breastfeeding and bonding established, but they want to put us in some alien place and separate my son
from me just to 'assess me'. If I say no, I know they wont let me take my baby home.
I feel like just running away, but I don't know how at risk I am of them actually doing all theyre threatening to.
Help?