aBW, you know I don't come out of the shadows much, but we have met before in similar circumstances, but things seem to be getting more difficult for you. Get through today, feed the kids...it sounds like you're nearly there with that job. Eggs good, stay with it until they're in bed. Get that job done, you can, you know it. It's harder when you just want to get to 'oblivion' state, but you can do it, just like you always do.
I know this is more than just a 'stressful day' for you. I really hope you're getting some support in RL somewhere, and if you're not yet, come back to this thread tomorrow, look at your posts, and then think where you can go to get some support. Lots of us are willing you through this, I'm sure, and I know it's a safe place to come (sort of! though lots of posters may attack you in ways that may make you feel otherwise!) but you need to find a holding place in RL.
And scottishmummy, many people who know that alcohol is a depressant are depressed already, and unforuntately aren't able to pull themselves out by just snapping their fingers and stopping. I'm not 'enabling' by this message, just reminding aBW that she is not the only one, therefore not some sort of monster that noone would understand, and hopefully (aBW hear me!) therefore she could talk to someone in RL who wouldn't throw her to the dogs but understand that she has a problem that could be sorted out with work on her part, but support from others.