NOT AGAIN!..................................

[youwouldntbelivewhoiamandprobw]

if i had my real mn name on here you wouldnt believe it so have used this one..i didnt think i would ever post htis but.......i have had enough.my head is full and i just want to go to sleep and shut it all out...i had depression a few years back and was on ad s am not on them now and in the past year have got though some really horrible stuff with out the ads..at the mo most things in my life are ok ,,but there are a few stresses which i wont talk about,,then thismorning when i thought i felt fine someone asked haow i was i burst into tears and ,noe i feel like my life has gone well for a few months and someone has realised and said oi ,,,you been ok too long and im at the top of the rollarcoaster waiting to drop ,,i am so scared i dont want to go down there again...........

i dont have self assteem..none ditto ,,,today i was walking back from the hairdresser and got whistled at in a good way and grinned all the way back then some little kid at the school said to his mate ..[prob bout 5 years old] look at that fat woman ,,,

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'scuse me butting in, but could you speak to your Mum's doctor, AAA and find out just how bad she is? I mean,just because she's got some fluid on her legs and it could be her heart, doesn't mean anything bad is about to happen, does it? Perhaps the doctor could reassure you. Would be a shame to miss your holiday.

thank you the running feeling has gone,,that is always the worst bit i ran once 2 miles in bare feet ,,,what anoys me is i am a very intellagent person[accept my spelling]and the feelings are so stupid

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i know hes not too worried as he didnt send her right away,,but she could just have another attack

the whistle but little kids speak their minds so what do i look like

Yes, she could have another attack and then again she could go on until she's in her nineties (God willing). Don't think you can live your life waiting for something to happen can you. She is under the care of the doctor and medical science is very good these days.

i think it is deff a control thing i cant control what happens to my mum my dad died a year ago on fathers day there was nothing i could do..but i always feel like when your a kid and you dont tread on cracks in the pavement ..if you get waht i mean,

AAA you need to go on this holiday,you need to look forward to it and get excited,buy new clothes,plan where you're going to go,see etc,please don't cancel,your mum is going to be fine,you'll see,you really,really need this holiday
xx

i am 100% better at helping than taking advice thats why i do it it makes me feel good selfish i think

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i have i have brought the dress [for our vow renewals ,,booked the marrage celebrant and make up photographer ,,even got a cossie that i dont feel too fat in ,,i cant wait to swim with the fish,

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yes your a loony!! but in a good way ,,only kidding i know my marrage suffered because of this all before.flight is 2nd week august

i did like that

almostanangel my mum and dad live in spain,dad is 80 and has angina and lots of other things,my mum has just lost the sight in one eye and she's having it removed next week the other one is pretty bad too so she could go blind any time,i used to cry most days thinking that i can't be there and dreading the phone call that will tell me something has happened to them but it was making me so ill i had to just accept that no matter how much you worry you can't stop things from happening and you're not living your life,please stop worrying and enjoy life,go and have a brilliant time

oh whymummy[hugs]

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i know i know your right ..i think a lot clearly now i have calmed down, mum says she will mis me but she has given me money to buy dollars for the children ,i didnt want to take it but she said take it or i will be upset,,,,i think i am gi=oing to freshen my face before dh get in ,,i think you all are wonderfull and you have helped me more than you know ,really much more than you know ,,.thank you

you've both made me cry now,lol

oh dont i will feel responsible!!! then we will be back where we started !!!

always look on the bright side of life
everybody
toorootoorootoorootooroo