Hi all, I can honestly say 'I know how you feel' to both Erikamaye & Jadine.
Suffered from depression for a few years prior to getting pregnant with my ds (now 20 months old)& was thus more prone to it when I actually got pregnant, it continued through to last june when i took an od & a couple of weeks later snapped out of it becus i realised i nearly lost ds 4eva & it scared the s**t out of me! (for gods sake - dont try it, its awful!)
Its a nasty beast that comes & goes when things get a bit rough. You feel like uv lost control & desperately want to be well again, u can remember how it feels to be happy but just cant seem to climb up the sides of the well that is depression, back to the daylight. You can see people all around the top of the well, reching their hands down trying to help, but ultimately you have got to be the one to get the footing to climb a bit higher & reach back.
Erikamaye - Ive also been there with eating disorder & issues over how I look (I have very big boobs & used to be constantly tormented at school & college & no matter what I wore, it just hung off my chest & made me look fat). All those girls who want to look like jordan are so diluded, u should feel the weight of these things & what they do to your back & some of the comments that people make can be so bloody cruel.
Eventually, I met somebody who loved my body just the way it was & in turn taught me to love it & use it to my advantage.
When u start to mess around with ur weight, u will very quickly realise that u are never satisfied with the results because u r still 'in the same skin' (if that makes sense?). It runs deeper, u r unhappy with more than just appearance, your confidence takes a knock etc, nothing ever looks 'right' on u, etc. Its an issue that needs to be tackled from the inside rather than the outside. To do that properly, u need to start to realise how special u as a person are. Start listening to the people who care, realise that what they love about you is special & therefore u r.
Realise that if neither of u were special, a complete stranger like me, wudnt give a s**t. But im here, writing to u both, saying what ur going through is ok, ur not alone & i understand.
Jadine, my dh worked away for long hours when my little one was tiny, all i wanted to be was there for my ds but was working a full time 43 hour week, handing him over to the childminder when he was asleep & collecting him when he was asleep, having to manage the house on my own & then run around after dh & stepson all sat nite & sunday, every week. I was shattered, never got any time 4 myself, work were being awful to me after i had returned from mat leave & eventually pushed me out altogether ( retrospectively, i would have had a very good case to take to court but at the time i was in too much of a mess). It all just got too much, i fealt like i couldnt breath & there would never be an end to it, but there was. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Ok, so sometimes it takes a bit of time to get there - but YOU WILL get there.